Ironman, IronThings, TriThings, Life Things

2010-06-10T05:18:00.000-05:00

Dear Readers, Friends, Creepy Internet Friends and Fellow FREAKS....

It's not you, it's ME! We've all heard that before, right? Well, that is the case here as well. I have enjoyed my time here but I'm afraid it must come to a close. This is not a ploy for you to beg me to stay. I've been thinking about it for a while. I guess I just feel like everything has run its course, at this point. While I still have so much to say, I am finding that it (at times) has become more of a job than a joy....as you can tell since I haven't posted in over a week. Like anything, I want to enjoy it and if it becomes a job, I best be gettin' paid for this shiz.

I have had the pleasure of meeting a few of you real live and in person. That has been the best part - or even just the hey, aren't you Missy? At a race. That is fun. I kinda feel like I've grown up with so many of you in these endurance and triathlon endeavors. I love the support, advice and general good times that this has provided. I still hope to meet some of yous someday...at a race or at a ride.

My hope is that, at one time or another, I made you laugh until you shot your drink out your nose. If I did that to you one time, then my job here is complete and that makes me happy. Oh, and if I ever do get that great book or writing gig...you better buy it;) Here's a few links to some of my favorite posts over the years, for those that you may have missed. These are just some of my fav's from the archives.

My First Ever Post

Phases of Ironman Training

The Happiest Pee Ever

Funny Mom Stories for Monday - the Fire Marshall

Beach2Battleship Ramblings

RIP Kasha

All my best to you and never let me hear you say I CAN'T...I find nothing more irritating. If you're ever hurting for blog material, give me a buzz or I can guest post - I stills gots lots of ideas. For anyone that wants to keep in touch, my email is on my info page! And that, my friends, is all she wrote...

The American Triple T - Race #4

2010-06-01T05:24:00.000-05:00

Finally, the half ironman, the last day, the last race of the American Triple T Ohio. You know the distance, no explanation needed. The morning was significantly different than either of the previous days. For the previous races, everyone was all keyed up, anxious to get into their race order making sure that everyone was sequential. Sunday morning, no one cared. It was chip timing, afterall, go ahead, I don't need to get into that nasty water any earlier than necessary. Maybe the top 10 guys in line were keen on their starting position, otherwise, no one cared. No one could believe that we had a half iron to complete. We couldn't either.

Swim was a good one, cold, murky, gross but just fine time wise. Transitions were funny, at this point, because most people just strolled into and around transition. The hustle was gone. One event down, two to go.

Bike, holy CRAP! Two loops of the same thing to make up our 56ish mile ride. I have never had a bike split this slow until this day. As far as team drafting was concerned, not that big of a deal, I was just grinding my gears for everything I had...knowing that I had to come back and do it one more time before I even got to run. The beauty of a two loop bike. I did find the best bike food ever - mini golden oreo cookies. After a full day of gels, tremendous gas and horrendous ass, I couldn't stomach one more gel. We both moved on to food (if you can call an oreo food). It was glorious. The ride was pretty and we enjoyed it the FIRST TIME around. We got lots of comments like - you're having too much fun, there's my party people - stuff like that. Yep, we were trying to make the best of it. I don't even think we started cussing too much until loop two when we knew we had to do it again. I can only describe the ride route as every crappy hill in Nashville all linked together to make one, ass kicking bike ride.

After we strolled into transition, got dressed again, it was time for our two loop run - of the same thing we've done all weekend long. The fear, the dread, the rocks in my shoes. OK, we started to discuss a strategy because actually running the whole thing was not even going to be realistic at this point. Tilghman says, let's go 2-1, run 2 minutes walk 1 minute. Perfect. Wouldn't you freakin know it - every 1 minute walk ended on a flat and every 2 minute cycle was on an uphill. DaYum IT! Next, why don't we try to run every flat and downhill and walk when ever the fire road changes pitch. Excellent! This seemed to be everyone's plan. There was no getting around it, walking was going to be involved for us.

We cheered on our new friends, Speedo Cowboy (the guy in a teeny speedo and cowboy hat), Dora Dude (the guy that wore Dora sunglasses last year), the MSU guys who had the worst team kit ever (green shorts, never, guys and I went to MSU), Ironmom, Canada (scared my poor little friend from Canada when I yelled - Go Canada and then proceeded to let out a roar of a belch, he actually stopped and turned. Sorry Canada, that was not intentional and no dig at your homeland) ... really, it was the most all for one and one for all race I've ever been a part of. While I'm sure the top guys and teams were keen on their times and splits, everyone else was just working toward a common goal. To get this freakin' run over with!!!

I knew once we hit ~10 mile marker we were home free. You know what that means, running downhill! Yep, I didn't want to say it but I knew we were home free at that point and it was glorious. Finishing was never in question, how fast was. We loosely discussed what we thought we'd hit the finish line in between me chasing Tilghman up a hill and hollering at our comrades. At this point, we didn't even know where we were in the team standings. No clue, truly and not even concerned. As we made our way 'out of the woods' and onto the last ~.5 mile on asphalt, we saw them. We saw the women's team from the previous day that passed us heading into the woods for the second loop of the run. As we cheered them on (and meant it), the other part of us had a little extra skip in our step. Yep, we made the right decision, I should say Tilghman made the right decision for us on the previous day's races. Let them go, she said, we'll see them again. ...and we did.

We didn't have an ounce left of get up and go so we just ran it on in to the finish. We have never been so happy for each of our slowest half iron times in history. Truly, I was thrilled. I was thrilled not to be moving any more, thrilled to be done and just laughed my ass through the finishing chute because I can't believe we did it. We conquered this bitch.

There's so many other thoughts that I have about this race but here's what I know for certain:

This is the hardest race I have EVER done, hands down (YES, harder than ironman).
This was one of the most fun races I have EVER done.
I laughed so hard all weekend long that my face hurt.
Getting up for a half iron on the last day sucks.
The race doesn't start until Race #3 and #4.
I'm made for pacing (as is Tilghman).
I hate sprints.
I was THRILLED that I brought my road bike instead of my TT bike. Would have been nice to have some clip on aero bars, though.
I don't ever need to do this again.

More to come, other funny stories and our take on the Little Smokies race (the guys that got do JUST do the half on that last day), we were ruthless on them. Oh, and our finishing time was good enough for second place in the Women's Senior Divison. Woot, woot, we were totally stoked.

Taking longer than the race...Triple T Part #3

2010-05-29T12:52:00.004-05:00

The American Triple T - Race #3

24.8 mile bike - 1500 Meter swim - 6.55 mile run - team event, we must start and finish together. We already know this is a non issue since our previous race time was ~2 minutes apart, sweet.

Bike first, uh, yeah, this is the same bike course we did this morning and it was a BITCH. Now, I just happened to know what we were getting ourselves into. Let's just say we were both married to our smallest gears. There wasn't much drafting for us, per se, since we just had to grind it out. And YES, I did make the 'young one' ride up front most of the time. Hell, I had to play the old lady card some way. Our strategy on the bike - when you can 'feel' pressure on your pedals, gear down and just spin...still got a swim, run and half iron to do. Done and done.

How the hell do you get a wetsuit on a sweaty body? With wetsuit dressers rather than strippers that we're all used to. I didn't have any issues so it was no big deal but how handy to have nice men standing there with grocery sacks for your arms and feet to get your wetsuit on.

To the murky water...we both screamed when we hit the water and scared those around us, I think. It was still so cold and shocking. If I was just smart enough to wear TWO caps. Nothing special on the swim, finished together and walked to transition. I would say that most of my transitions for this were very mellow, again, minutes weren't going to count for me, so an extra minute for fresh, dry socks, lube and some GasX (my new favorite racing treat after ingesting gels for two days), was what I needed. Got all of that and went to Tilghman's rack and the conversation went like this -

Me: I got shoes, hat, GasX and Gu's, what else do I need?
T: I think that sounds good.
Random guy: How about crutches and a HoverRound?
Us: Baaahahahaha, yes please.

....and we went for our 6.55 mile trail run. This nice young man was forever known as HoverRound. Whenever we would see him we just yelled, Hey Go HoverRound. HoverRound, if you're out there, we love ya.

Trot, trot, trot, we ran this shit again, but together this time. We were determined NOT to walk for the Oly's so we pulled out what little bits we had to keep it moving up those bitchin hills. See Til's trashed shoes. I think these we new when we arrived.

UNTIL, I heard them. I hear two girls closing in and talking to one another, they get closer and within 'draft' range for this thang. My pace starts to quicken, the hairs on my neck stand up, we weren't even talking and Tilghman just says to me - stop it, we'll get them tomorrow. We can't kill ourselves today - we pride ourselves in being able to pace. Fine, fine, I know she's right, I KNOW it and I'm glad she was there as my voice of reason. We let the young one's go by (I have no idea how old they were or what division, I just knew that they were a female team). They were super nice and not at ALL snarky or anything. It was just my competitive side coming out. We let them go - and Tilghman says to me, hey little girl, haven't I ever told you about the Tortoise and the Hare?

Run, run, run to the finish and off our mornings race by 8-10 minutes. Hell, we were happy with that since we started to see people totally combust by the third race. Besides sitting in the ice cold stream, hammering a Coke, getting a massage (from Bob who was sweet on me because I got an extra 10 minutes and a hug), eating the best noodle with Parmesan cheese we ever had, it was time to get out of there.

We were feeling good but the thought of a half iron on THAT kind of course the next day was daunting. We needed food and lots of it, stat. Mashed potato, I'd kill for a mashed potato. KFC, certainly, there's a KFC in this town, right? Grilled chicken and some mashed taters...it was NOT to be. Instead, we found some awesome deli, got hand cut french fries with extra salt and a large philly cheese steak. You know, I have never been so relaxed with my food choices as I was for this race. For big races, I'm usually so anal about what I'm eating. For this, it was eat often, eat lots, you're going to need it. As I stood in line for my cheese steak, stinky, nasty, muddy, obviously coming from the race site, the IRONCHODE is standing there waiting for his food as well. Seriously there dbag, get over yourself, 99% of this crowd has done at least one Ironman. He was quite proud of himself and carried himself accordingly. Made me want to put tacks in his transition spot.

Off to bed...but couldn't sleep...was too jacked up. Until an alarm clock went off at freakin 4:00am. Holy crap, are you kidding me?!? WHAT do I have to do today?

Triple T - Race #2

2010-05-27T05:52:00.000-05:00

The American Triple T - Race #2

1500 Meter swim - 24.8 mile bike - 6.55 mile run - individual, even though me and T were a team, this race was just individual event and then our times would be combined for our total score (the next two races we must start and finish together).

After a crazy nite, we were ready to get this party started. Who knew what the day would bring, who knew that we were getting ready to enter the IRONMAN CONTEST. Bring every piece of ironman gear you own and wear it, it IS a contest, apparently. Does anyone else think it's redundant to have five ironman stickers on your car? Really, is that necessary. We each had our required M-Dot visor (check).

We got all our shiz together in transition with no issues. I love it that triathletes can unabashedly put on arse and cooter cream in public, while talking to another person. I wanted to dose up on some chamois cream and was looking for a spot...until I saw others that were wrist deep. Right on, I will do the same!

The swim was the swim, cold, murky, and OVER. I wish I had a long sleeve wetsuit - I CAN tell you that. The bike, hell, it was so long ago, I can barely remember the bike from Race #2 other than, hilly, as I expected and my slowest bike split in some time. Whateves, save myself, save myself, save myself.

The run - uh, yeah, I didn't know that I was going to begin my trail running and steeplechase career at the Triple T. Bring trail shoes if you own them! That's what I get for 'not stressing' by NOT reading too much into the race packet OR driving the bike course. I like it all to be a surprise. It was. It was also 3+ miles of up, just up, yeah, there were some downs and a flat or two but my glutes still hurt!

Calling ALL men, calling all MEN, this means you - if you wear colored shorts, you have to expect us to point and laugh. Colored lycra is NEVER acceptable under any circumstances. We don't need that kind of pressure and if you think it's not that big of a deal, it IS, trust me, you're not exempt from this rule. If you're team kit has a color other than black on the bottom, work to change it. Just sayin.

Two races down, two to go! Still looking pretty happy about the whole thing. Even though this race was not completed together, our final times were within a minute or two in exactly the same splits. We knew that we were spot on with our pacing and team mate choice!
Waiting for race #3...

Triple T - Race #1 - the Prologue

2010-05-26T10:02:00.001-05:00

Our mantra as we sat awaiting the first race - We're a team, not a couple! AND NO, I don't even give a crap about a girl couple, happy is happy....I just didn't want to ruin any chances for Tilghman for crying out loud.

Friday afternoon....Prologue - Race #1

After our introduction to the swamp lands (Thank you Mother Nature), we spent the afternoon chilling, fueling and entertaining ourselves by watching person after person get stuck in the mud trap parking area. It was super entertaining to watch people who have never been in mud before, apparently. I took our one ton dually so this was not an issue. Continuing to spin your wheels in mud only gets you deeper, is this not a known fact? Ranger Rick, our friendly park ranger, was deeply concerned about the condition of his field. The sign said, event parking so that's where everyone went, much to Ranger Rick's dismay. Why didn't I help pull people out of the mud, you ask? I have NO clue how to do it without pulling the front fascia right off your car. I don't need YOU suing ME for trying to help YOU. But I digress...

Race time was swiftly approaching. OK, I use that term loosely, race, that is. For me, this was going to be my regular - day before the race shake down. I had no intention of killing myself out there. With such a short race, the difference would only have been in minutes. At the end of the weekend, minutes weren't going to matter to me. We all herd out to swim in the vat of chocolate milkshake and mud. Uh, someone said the water was 73, they lied. Maybe the surface temp was 73 but I screamed when my face hit the water. Holy crap, this is FREEZING (and I just had a shorty wetsuit on, I'm glad I had something to help protect my core temp, jeeze). Fine, then a baby bike ride, no problems, no issues. Finish it up with a one mile run on a muddy trail and wet grass. I didn't even try to hit this hard, I was just trying NOT to bust my arse. I came in #255 in a whopping 29:10. Besides getting into zone 5 when I hit the water, it was pretty tame. Almost a shame to get so dirty, trash my shoes and cake up my bike BUT, there it is.

Dinner was to be nothing new, nothing special....pizza and beer. Perrrrfect. Nothing new on race day, that's my motto (except for new swim goggles, I always want new goggles on race day). After our return to the hotel, it's time to clean up, order some pizza pie and drink a beer, one beer. I screamed when I hit the shower, there was mud EVERYWHERE. I had to pluck it off me hoping not to find a leach mixed in with the caked on mud. I laughed, I was in the water for less than five minutes, REALLY, caked on mud?!?

Beer, we needed that one beer for old times sake but NO bottle opener. I make my way down the hallway, asking anyone around. I see the perfect candidate - he looks like a fraternity boy with a bunch of camping gear. Surely, he'll have a knife, multitool or bottle opener on his key chain - hey man do you have a bottle opener? Like for beer? Duh, yes, for beer, do you have a bottle opener for beer (I suppose it could have been a wine bottle opener)? Uh, you're having beer? Yes, jakeleg, I'm having one beer, do you have an opener? No, sorry. Thanks for nothing dbag.

LSS, we got our pizza our beer and fell into a deep slumber when .... a crack of thunder was so close to the room window that the hair stood up on my neck, I sat straight up and screamed - check the clocks, check your phone, make sure we still have an alarm for the morning. Thankfully, this strong storm passed very quickly.

Now it's time to get the 'real' show on the road...Olympic Race #2, up next!

Where to Begin...Triple T, me and T

2010-05-25T06:16:00.000-05:00

Honestly, I don't know WHERE to begin. There were four races in three days, 12 hours of travel and countless hours spent in between. On a 1-10 scale of hilarity, we were at an 11, no questions. You would know this, of course, if you were 'one of us.' There were a few, along the way, that were able to take our shit. Was it over the top, YES, was it too much to handle, mostly YES, was it riddled with F bombs and inappropriate comments, DUH, of course. If you didn't know Team Hammer Time by the Prologue (Race #1), you certainly knew us by the end of Race #4, day 3...in fact, we were nicknamed Team Awesome by some of our competitors or comrades, as it were. Thanks guys, we try to keep the fun alive, even in the darkest of hours.

This race report is going to take at least four, maybe eight entries to capture it all. So much was packed into such a short period of time. It was only three days but I feel like it was a weeks worth of activity...and good times...and laughter. Please, if you don't know this about me (and Tilghman for that matter) it's got to be fun. If it's NOT fun, I stop.

Before I get into the details, the nitty gritty, the nicknames we had for our competitors, comrades and races details, a few words on the American Triple T OHIO, experience...

This is, hands down, the hardest thing I have EVER done. Maybe I didn't give Ironman a hard enough 'go' but the American Triple T, OHIO (not to be mistaken with the North Carolina 'version' but you can't actually say you've done Triple T until you've done OHIO, IMO) is the hardest, most challenging physically, mentally and everything in between, that I have EVER done. With that said, you will now know why I will ridicule you if you tell me you've done Triple T...NC, yeah, sign up for OHIO and know what it's really like. Holy crap!!! That's like the guy who says - yeah, I've done Ironman Boise. Uh, NO, you haven't since there isn't an Ironman Boise. There might be a little 70.3 there but it ain't NO ironman, just saying.

Yeah, yeah, Ohio is flat, UM, yeah, no, not so much, not Portsmouth, Ohio. Not the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains for crying out loud. Not the Boy Scout Camp Oyo that we rode through where I yelled and cursed every camper in that place (sorry BSA). Anyway, yes, I will wear that on my sleeve because that race was a BITCH.

We left for the race with much less fan fare than Ironman...yet knowing it was going to be harder and logistically challenging. We were traveling with no sherpa just Goofy and Goofier to fend for themselves. Upon our arrival in Portsmouth, we discovered that this area had just been hammered by rain for the last few weeks. The water was high, the ground was soaked and there were trees down in the area. Just take a gander at our swim start locale...

...and this is just the beginning.

I will work on my many race reports for this one and catch up with everyone soon. This has been the focus for so long that I'm not sure what to do with myself. As we said all day Sunday, I'm so sore, my fat hurts. Thanks to everyone for all the messages and well wishes. This one is going to be a wild ride.

Almost here, I can't believe it!

2010-05-18T04:10:00.000-05:00

I don't expect you to watch all of it but this is what is kinda making me crap my pants. Yep, it's almost go time. The American Triple T, the race my year depends on, the only big race for me in 2010. I'm sure some incidentals will come along but this is the big one. No, I'm not having taper madness. As YOU know, I love the taper. Makes me feel like a normal person again. You know, the kind that cleans a house, runs errands, cooks a meal, goes out with non-tri friends, that kind of thing. It's good times. Now, I just keep running through everything in my head. What to pack, what to take.

For me, this is going to be a weird combination of a camping trip and triathlon...all.weekend.long. Yep, Friday-Sunday, race, race, race and then race again. I have no idea what to expect other than lactic acid and some killer hills. The kicker, me and Til have no sherpa for this race. We will have to take care of ourselves. WHAT?!?!?! Yep, Goofy and Goofier will have to take care of each other for this one. I will need to record some of the exhausted, sleep deprived conversations. I'm sure they will be priceless.

And for your viewing pleasure...some hilarity...

Dress Rehearsal Fo Reals Report - REV3 Knoxville

2010-05-14T04:07:00.006-05:00

***Update - 5/14/10, 9:30CST - REV3 PEOPLES THANK YOU! YES, times (at least mine and that's what we're talking about here) have been updated. So glad it wasn't a wash and yes, I guess it does matter to me. Get the splits yourself but I did end up 4th in my AG, woohoo.***

Bing - UP - yep, I'm up. Two cups of coffee that tasted like dirty lake water and three nervous poops later and it's time to head to transition for set up. My bike rack space was special because was close to Tara from the Biggest Loser. I didn't bother her since everyone wanted her picture and she was trying to get set up. I knew she was bad ass on the show when she barfed and got back up to finish the challenge or work out without whining. Love THAT!

Anyway, it's cold, it's in the 40's, what am I going to wear from swim to bike??? UGH, the hardest decision ever - knowing that you'll be cold but don't want to over heat...blah. Everyone ready, yep, let's head to swim start. WTFFFFF, these genius flip flops are killing me, holy crap, look, two blisters and my feet are covered in red die. I'll probably die from lead poisoning, won't you miss me when I'm gone? Ditch the cheap yet genius idea and just walk barefoot. Continue on with nervous chatter (caught up with Wes, always so nice to see Wes) and met up with other likewise stuffed sausages, man, I gotta pee. I'll be over here in the mulch to warm up and pee on myself. This did not go as planned. A wet suit doesn't really drain like you might hope. Oh well, it's sterile, they say.

They herd us off the dock for an in water start - which I had never done before so that was cool. Didn't mind that at all. Panic, swim, swim, swim, am I getting dropped already, swim, panic, breathe, panic, can't see buoy looking into sun, just follow people, THWACK. Oh, Hi there, Tilghman (my team mate for Triple T), she's right next to me and smacked me in the head. Sweet, I can see the dock (exit), how the hell am I going to lift myself up? I think I just flopped on my belly like a fish outta water. Hope they got that on film.

OK, up to T1, holy crap, it's frrrrreeeezzzzinnnggg out. What to wear on the bike??? Pitter patter on out... I am NOT a good transitionER. I probably got my nails done and ordered a pizza in there. I did a quick inventory, grabbed bike, put on skull cap under helmet for warmth, tap danced on out of there.

OK, just cruise, that was my plan, I wasn't going to kill myself, this was a dress rehearsal, after all (for Triple T). I think I kinda just zoned out. The course was nice, hilly but it's East TN so I knew what it was going to be like. At a turn around point, I see Til coming in my direction. SWEET. I thought she was in front of me. And that was how we stayed for the remainder of the bike. On our roadie bikes we played cat and mouse with many TT bike peeps. We opted for road bikes since that's what we're using for Triple T but I suppose I would use my TT bike for this course. I really could have used a break (aero bars). Then we see 'that guy.' You know that guy, the guy with board shorts a floppy t-shirt, tennis shoes and cages. I am always wary of that guy because he's usually a sleeper. I can't imagine what he could have done on the bike with some newer technology - that's all I have to say about him! Mile 35-40ish the pain on my left side from the previous days fall kicks in. Excellent, I can feel my shoulder, elbow, wrist and arse cheek. Dang, it hurts and my fingers look like sausages. I hope I didn't break anything???
Snake back through town to transition. Again, I stop take off my shoes and then run up to my rack spot, much better. Throw everything, change, roll out, uh WHERE IS RUN OUT, WTH IS RUN OUT, I was a mouse caught in a maze, it wasn't marked and one of my Nashville peeps had to tell me where to go. After I get out of the maze, I head out too fast, as always, yelling WHERE'S TILGHMAN, WHERE'S TILGHMAN, ANYONE SEE TILGHMAN? ...because everyone should know who I'm talking about. ....I hear Mrs. 'Swami, she's right behind you. Again, SWEET, this is going to work out perfectly. You should know that we do many of our runs together and it's like two little metronomes clipping along, tick, tick, tick, add in both of our heavy breathing and we sound like a terrible 80's porno. We clipped along and had to back off our pacing knowing we'd blow up. We are in two different age groups but when I'd see a 36 or 38 on the back of someones leg, I'd just give her the look and we'd tip toe up and then go, it worked on at least two occasions successfully. Clipping along, thanking peoples, getting some nutrition, mile 5 or so, Til stops dead in her tracks - gotta pee, I gotta pee, bad, she says. Not being a whiner, I know she must have that super pee pain. THEN I turn into a pain in the ass pointing out every bush that she should pee in. I'm lucky she didn't punch me. Mile 7, port o can, she jumps in and tells me to go. So, I did. An uneventful 6.1 miles later, I was done and running into a wonderful finish line (I'm not a total hater). They really had a great area set up with a for real finish line, announcer guy and the whole deal. Really a top notch finish, made you feel like a real big deal. Great guys handing out medals and shirts at the end too, super sweet, looked at me like they were proud of me too.

My performance, for me - fair swim, I always panic. Worst bike split ever but it was the hardest bike course I've ever done in a tri, it was nice but hard. Run - best run split ever...of course, these are all according to me and my watch. My goal, besides dress rehearsal for Triple T, was to run sub-2 hours (for the first time) and I did. All in all, a great day, I had a total blast. I achieved sub 6 and sub 2 for the run, success all around. Tilghman was one pee break behind me and coach was ready to reel us in at the end.

Honestly, so much more hilarity than I can even put in here. Oh, on the run, from the previous days fall, my arse cheek felt like a bruise with someone putting their finger in it every time it jiggled...that was often.

Me, meeting up with some bloggy peeps after the race. We actually had some nervous chatter at the swim start - HellO Illinois! At the end she says - are you Missy!? Why yes I am. I think we're talking about how daYum cute Gunnar is.

He has his ears in pigtails to help them lay flat since we did not crop them. Little buddy.

Dress Rehearsal Report

2010-05-13T04:15:00.003-05:00

Dear REV3 and Team Trakkers and anyone else that got a little bent out of shape from my previous post….

#1. I am a reasonable person BUT I DO have high expectations that are exponentially related to the price tag of anything that I buy. This event was very expensive in relation to others. It DID have the nice touches that the others do NOT. That is not in question.

#2. I get ‘it’ – there were more important issues (bike wrecks and the injured) to deal with than my time. The question is, how am I supposed to know that unless someone TELLS ME? You have to communicate these things. So for those who say, how can you be so selfish, so heartless, there were bigger things going on that YOU and your freakin time? Uh, how the hell am I supposed to know unless someone tells me, or responds to inquiries - I wasn't everywhere on course, I didn't know people went down. Hell, I left shortly after finishing since times and placements were unknown. Communication, communication, communication…just tell me for crying out loud.

#3. This is NOT even about my time and I think that part was missed. I was just looking for a fluffy answer, just someone to say that - we are missing XXX times and we’re working on it, hope to have it by XXX. We have every reason to believe we will be able to recover it since we were running two systems in parallel for a situation such as this, blah, blah, blah. Post it on your website, post it on the results page. There was nothing to indicate to me or anyone else that anything was even being done about it. Of course, now and I have received follow up.

#4. I have had my time screwed up before. I have lost placement in my AG because of it. You know what, don’t even care, if it’s right or corrected after the fact, it is what it is. No arguments from me. Suggestion: give people a reasonable expectation that their chip will even work, a scan station at the exit of check in or something. While issues may still arise, it does instill confidence.

#5. You don’t get to call yourself world class or top quality; you have to EARN that designation by your customers. I only ask that you earn it.

#6. Finally, c’mon party people, don’t you even know me…??? Of course I had a good time, you stick me in a paper sack with two friends, $2 beers and $20 bucks and it’s ON. The day was a perfect one, it was a cold start but whateves, can’t control big bad Mother Nature, no matter how hard we try.

REV3 REWIND…Time or no time, this is my dress rehearsal report…

Pre-Race

Nashville to Knoxville was uneventful except that our bikes look like McGruber strapped them down on the rack. I am only half way poking fun – it looked awful but our bikes were safe, in one piece with no rubbing, what more can you ask for?!

Upon arrival in Knoxvegas, we hit the expo/check in. For ME, everything was easy peasy. Picked up my junk, took pictures and grabbed Chris Lieto’s ass. I must have hit it at the right time because I was able to walk right up to each station.

Shake down – time to shake down me and my equipment. To the water we go for a 10 minute swim and review of the swim exit. Can I tell you I HATE wetsuits? No, I don’t feel like I’m faster, I feel slower. Hate them. Anyway, swim, check.

Bike – Knoxville is not really a bike friendly town (do not blast me with comments from the Chamber of Commerce, this is NOT a dig at the RD or anyone else that’s part of REV3, sheesh). It just isn’t, motorists aren’t terribly cordial or understanding. As I tried to cross the train tracks and square up to go over, a woman in an SUV thought it would be nice to see how close she could get to me. I think she just wanted to see my raging wedgie from my bathing suit. That said, I couldn’t square up and went down…on the train tracks, hard, in my speedo. Sweet mother of gawd, please don’t let me be broken, don’t let me be broken, or my bike, the bike, don’t let it be broken. OK, raspberry on arse, check, feeling of deep bruising, check, bike, uh, CHECK. OK, let’s go. I really wanted to cry a little but I didn’t. It really hurt.

Run – As the three of us were getting ready to run, one of us needs a pit stop. In said pit stop, HE almost drops his cell phone into the water. Instead, he drops it saves the phone, loses the backing. OK, no big deal, run for a few minutes, check. We return and the boathouse is locked and all our crap is on the dock. I think we smashed our faces against the glass in terror that all our junk (bikes, bikes shoes, wetsuits, everything) was on the other side. Poor lady was right there,our fear got the best of us.

Go to hotel to check in and decide where to go for dinner. Uh, are they having a wedding in the atrium tonite? No, OH, Mother’s Day brunch, check, thank gawd. BUT what are all these kids doing in dresses….holy crap, are you kidding me?!?!? There is a high school prom here tonite. Please let it be a real Christian school of non-drinkers. If I hear a peep out of them tonite when I’m trying to sleep, I will go ape shit on their ass. Dear Lenoir HS Seniors, thank you for being courteous to the old people, I didn’t hear a peep.

Dinner, dinner, what to do for dinner, Mellow Mushroom a few miles away, heck yeah I’ll eat some pizza before race day! Texts sent, 630, MMush. Check. Oh, let’s go early and have a beer. The sign says $2 drafts on Saturday nite. Who has good beers for $2 on a Saturday, why, a college campus, that’s who! Smithwicks..nom, nom, nom. Coach and Mrs. ‘Swami arrive, order, we giggle at the huge crack that is staring at us in the face. It was a picture phone, what can I do. Lowrise jeans are not meant for everyone...me included. I just walk around trying to pull them up all the time. Faces are cut to protect the innocent. The waitress asks – would you like another beer? Til and I kind of freeze and look at each other. It was like ESPN, I know we were both thinking it…one more, even split one more would be just fine, who has ONE beer?! Coach was at dinner with us and answered for us, no, they don’t need another beer. It was a smart decision. I tend to get dehydrated anyway. BLASTED and $2 beers wasted….

Next stop, Walgreens, more water, Gatorade, epsom salts to soak my bruising in the nasty hotel tub (gotta do it) AND genius idea $1 flip flops to walk from T1 to the swim start, genius, right? Save my feet, save my shoes, throw away some $1 flip flops at the swim start. HA.

Man, this is too long already and we haven’t even started the event yet….

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2010-05-12T05:13:00.001-05:00

REV3 Don’t Believe the Hype

2010-05-11T05:57:00.001-05:00

Bitter, party of one, your table is now available….

Remember THAT rap song, Don’t Believe the Hype with Flava Flav? Yeah, that’s about what I have to say about the REV3 series, but mostly about their ‘customer service.’ For a $250 entry fee and a second home mortgage, you too can enter a race with all the amenities and have NO FINISHING TIME. Yes, people, that’s me #425, DNS … when, in fact, I did show. Not only did I show, I would have been 4th or 5th…that’s if their race results that ARE posted are even correct. Who knows. Post race I was assured that timing and scoring issues were being worked out and that they would be corrected. I was told this in person by a REV3 Director, of some kind. She hands me her card and says, email me if you have any issues. Well, for two days, I’ve been emailing anyone on their contact list. Yep, nada, no response. I am a reasonable person, maybe a little nuts, but reasonable. For $250 I DO expect customer service. If I go to a high end restaurant and something is wrong with my meal, I expect it to be corrected … at a minimum, hell, give me a free dessert for my trouble. That is the part that is MOST disappointing, no response at all. Weak at best. As you might imagine, this is my impression of the REV3 series. Yes, people, just like WTC and NA Sports, it’s about the money. Understandably, any company is in the business of making money. However, as the price tag goes up, so do my expectations. I think for any race the MINIMUM expectation is correct timing and scoring. Hell, at this point, a phone call and an apology would do. I’ll even send you back your t-shirts.

Tell your neighbors, tell your friends, save your money for an organization that is well, uh, organized.

Besides my ‘killer good’ experience there were highlights. Let me start by saying, my friends, team mates and coach (they are interchangeable) are the best. At least, WE had fun during our last ‘workout’. Yeah, this was just a workout for me SINCE I HAVE NO FINISHING TIME AND COULD HAVE DONE THAT SHIT ON MY OWN, but I digress. I will save my workout report for later but pre-race always brings on some hilarity in my neck of the woods.

Since this was not an A Race for me (thank gawd, can you imagine how pissed I’d really be), I was very relaxed or lax in my knowledge of the course, swim start etc. It was not something I was going to worry about. We did a baby sized workout on Saturday that involved me, some train tracks, my bathing suit and a serious raspberry on my arse. I was bruised, battered but we forged on. I wanted to cry just a little but I didn’t. It freakin hurt. Now, I just have a bruised arse with an extra crack in it. This was only the beginning of the karma or cloud that was to follow us all weekend long…

Pre-race dinner – HellO, if there’s a Mellow Mushroom in your town, we are there. Holy shit, you said draft beers are $2!?!?! The good one’s even? You mean we can have a total blast on $10!?! Crap, we have to race tomorrow you said…and coach came with us to dinner and cut our asses off after one beer. Sonofabitch, who invited THIS guy? We know Mrs. Swami would have totally supported our decision.

Anyway, I did realize that the swim start was a bit of a walk from T1. What about my tender baby feet? Baaahahaha. Flip flops, cheap flip flops from the Walgreens to walk to the swim start. Yeah, uh, two blisters and red dye lead poisoning from my cheap ass flip flops later, I’m at the swim start. And that’s how the day STARTED…

Totally Thoughtless Thursday

2010-05-06T06:02:00.006-05:00

Thanks to everyone for their well wishes on the recent floods to Nashville and the surrounding areas. I am heading to a friends 'house' today to assist...in any way possible. Basically, he and his wife have to tear the house down to the studs, power wash and start over. For the love of Pete...

For all of those who offered to take Gunnar off my hands for a while, I thank you too. Yep, after not having a puppy for 10 years, you forget what it takes. He's still super cute and likes to go on walks while carrying his stick or your newspaper. I think some neighbors are missing their coupon section, just sayin.

REV3...did someone say that I have to race this weekend?!?!?! With everything going on, I virtually forgot. Now, you know how this goes, this is not A race, this is B-C race, practice race, just to make sure I can swim/bike/run all in a row. I hope it doesn't turn into a duathlon from all the flooding but we'll just have to see how fast that river is flowing on Sunday. Could be like swimming in a washing machine!

Good luck to all racing this weekend...and rebuilding their homes.

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2010-05-05T05:24:00.004-05:00

Dispatch all your news outlets, someone in L.A. farted and caused a .00001 earthquake! Meanwhile, Nashville is UNDER water, lives lost, cars floating away, pets displaced, friends with no home, no clothes, nothing. Nashville is NOW in a black out with no power and many surrounding counties have to boil their water. ...but I think Lindsay Lo forgot her panties again and Tiger screwed someone else....hurry, call GMA! Thankfully, we were spared, my friends were not so lucky. Some of these are of downtown Nashville and some are three miles from my house.

Errr, 2State1Mountain

2010-05-03T04:49:00.005-05:00

So, after my total mental meltdown (see previous post), I had a come to jebus meeting in my mind, with my coach and training partner. We all determined that a good effort at 100K was going to do more for us physically and mentally than a piss poor 100miles...not to mention set us up better for our half iron next weekend. There it is. I'm not proud that I dropped ~38ish miles off my planned ride but it WAS a good, prudent and smart decision. Thankfully, in all of this, I've never felt physically spent, just the mental games. The BEST part...I had a GREAT ride, had FUN, enjoyed myself and that was what I needed. I wanted to WANT to do this, I wanted to be excited about racing, not 'over it.' I got that and more. Rather than 3State3Mountains, I did 2State1Mountain but at least I got to ride SUCK Creek (Mountain). That was the one I really wanted to hit anyway, 5 miles of UP and I just wanted to ride it because it's SUCK Creek.

Roadies...or is it men? I don't know if it's a roadie thing or a man thing but as soon as Team Endurance decided to pass 'them' on Suck Creek, they got all snarky. OK, DUUUDE, I'm not going to sit here and say - On your left - for the next 20 minutes. Either get the effe over so people can pass (riding 4-5 abreast) or I'm just going to roll right up your arm. Tell me to announce myself - on your front, see ya! THENNN, another group decides to just cluster in the road, no organization, just a clump of riders. Again, we pass this 14mph crew and suddenly, they get 'organized' ... right behind us, sucking our wheel, feel the need to tell us to hold on to 20mph and that we're doing great. Eat shit douchebag and take your turn or I'm going to tell all your friends that two chicks just beat your ass. This is just the good stuff. The rest of the ride was less eventful, oh, but I did ride through some gravel, recover, NOT fall down to a collective, ooohhhhh, in front of 20-30 people. I may not be the smoothest in the world and be a tri person (known for no bike handling skills) but I made it just fine, thank you very much. The picture above was taken after my recovery but before the floods and tornadoes hit Tennessee. What a nightmare! At least one person in this picture's house is under water...maybe more. We are lucky to only have some water damage to some drywall and windows, but I digress. And yes, I'm totally sucking in my gut and pushing out my chest for effect.

So here's DaBiches, done, fun, and ready for REV3 this weekend. After that Triple T or BUST baby! All we could think about this weekend was - how the hell are we going to feel after race #3??? Only one way to find out...

Dear Diary,

2010-04-29T04:38:00.001-05:00

I am in that dark place. Not much is funny right now. I’m eating, sleeping or training. I pride myself in blogging about the lighter side of training and racing but today is just not that day. It’s a dark day. I don’t want to any more. I don’t want to get up at 4am, I don’t want to go for a 100 mile bike ride and I don’t want to run for two hours. I don’t want any of it. I don’t care if I don’t race Triple T, you can have it, you can keep it. I want to hang with the fam and drink beer on a nice afternoon. I want to ride ONLY if I FEEL like it not because there’s a 100 mile ride on my plate. I want to enjoy it. I want to just do it because I WANT to, not because I HAVE to. I suppose I could bag it all right now. That IS an option but not for me. It’s not how I’m wired, it’s not how I’m made. I don’t do ANYTHING unless I think I can do it successfully or prepare in such a way to do so…with anything, not just this tri thing.

I pride myself in talking about Pleather, cooter bones and how to never trust a fart on a long run. How you should always carry a pre-packaged moist towelette with you always because you never know when you may have a moment in the bushes. Snot rockets and the virtues of peeing on a bike, that’s what I’m all about, not this serious shit.

The darker side of endurance training – NO I’m NOT made for this, NO I don’t LOVE getting up at 4am every Meffen day, NO I don’t really enjoy running that much. Everyone always thinks I’m a runner because I’m so tall. Anyway, sometimes, I want to give it up, I don’t give a shit if I don’t do REV3 or 3State3Mountain OR Triple T. I want to sit home on the sofa like the rest of America.

Today, I did that. I skipped everything, I played with puppies and drank beer with hubs, we ate pizza and laughed. It was the most perfect and glorious day. You know what, it was a really nice day for a bike ride….mmmm, maybe I am made for this shit afterall?

Don’t worry, dear friends, I know what this is. I am going through my IronBITCH phase. I know it when it happens and, thankfully, know that it will pass. For now, I just don’t wanna anymore.

You know what, this is how I know I’m ready.

Bring IT!

Love,

Missy

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2010-04-28T04:58:00.005-05:00

I

I will come back to blogland soon! Life and training of both me and Gunnar is exhausting (and I'm not doing much for Big G). I'm in that serious mode and no one wants to hear about that BORING!

Pleather

2010-04-22T06:07:00.001-05:00

This post is not for the faint of heart. If you are easily disgusted or offended…well, you probably wouldn’t be here in the first place. Presumably, men get this too, just different.

I awoke to this fire-y itching. I just think, dry skin. And then I was itching like a monkey, what the hell?! I haven’t changed soap or riding shorts. By the time morning came, I had to investigate. Mirror in hand, I knew what it was when I saw it…PLEATHER. Crap, I’m smart enough to know how to combat such an unsightly and irritating ‘deal’ on my whooha. A little Body Glide never hurt anybody. Instead, I have been riding in road or tri shorts – whatever is clean, sans lube. Friction has caused micro sized wounds that have scabbed = itching and unsightly PLEATHER. Yep, think old handbag or 80 yo lady who has enjoyed many summers in Boca. Anyway, when will I learn? Certainly, I won’t be talking about this next year, in the thick of training again! Geeze.

Next up, 3State3Mountain 100 miler in Chattanooga next weekend. This week is a recovery week – at 6000 swim, 80 bike, 25 run. Recovery my ASS! Country Music Marathon is THIS weekend but I will only be participating as a spectator….in the ‘thunderstorms and possible tornadoes.’ Swear to gawd I heard that on that there TV this morning. Let’s hope those forecasters are wrong like they usually are. That’s just not good times for anyone.

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2010-04-21T04:52:00.001-05:00

My interwebs were down for THREE days. Really, it was kind of a nice break but I missed ‘you guys.’ Not enough to grab the laptop and sit at the coffee shop, but enough to get up at 4:30A and post you some pics!

Friday Mind Dump

2010-04-16T05:04:00.001-05:00

For those of you that voted on my new Road Bike…yep, Titanium was the big winner. It was going to be metal, there was no question there. Hopefully, this bike will have a better shelf life than carbon fiber. …and NO I’m NOT a hater, I still have a carbon fiber TT bike but I can bet you $ that my next one will be metal, of some kind. It’s just a camera phone picture but it’s a Lynskey, hand made in Tennessee, of all places. It’s saaaweeet and lighter than my carbon Bianchi so that does not suck either. I was able to use all my components except for a few. I’m a Campy girl so it’s a Lynskey with Campognolo Centaur components. I’m doing something to support the Italian economy! This has my training wheels on it so I’m sure to gain a little more when I go for the real test with my race wheels.
Never underestimate the power of poo. This is Power of Poo part Deux, for all my Canadian friends. Last year I highlighted run splits pre and post poo to show the ‘scientific’ analysis of how it can help your run splits. Well, I can tell you this, it still holds true. Did a bike/run brick on Wednesday with a bad gut, could not run, actually had to walk a few steps because I was certain that I was dehydrated or dying. A poop didn’t occur to me, it was 5:00pm and I’m a morning pooper. Holy crap, literally.
Is there anything more a triathlete likes to talk about than poop, farts or the virtues of how to pee while riding a bike?
I still can’t pee while riding a bike.
I need to read my training schedule a little closer, last weekend I did 12 hill repeats instead of six. I think I’m still feeling the affects.
It will only make me stronger…or kill me. Right now, it might kill me.
Are ‘Christians’ the only one’s that put up road side memorials? I’ve never understood them or the car memorial that someone has on their back windshield. I feel like my mom went long before her time but??? She’d kick my ass if I put her name and ‘years’ on my car window. C.L.A.S.S.Y.
Thanks to all for their input on my bike situation. The only problem was time, I didn’t have any. This is still an excellent choice regardless.
Yep, STILL Cute….

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2010-04-14T04:01:00.000-05:00

Critical Failure – R.I.P.

2010-04-12T05:10:00.001-05:00

These are words you do NOT want to hear after taking your bike in for a tune up. These ARE the words my darling hubs heard when they called him regarding my bike…my road bike. The bike that I’m using to race this year. The bike that was supposed to get ~125 miles on it this weekend. He calls me at work and tells me we have to discuss something. Thankfully, it was the fate of my Carbon Fiber Bianchi and not something worse. Always be thankful, THINGS can be replaced.

After much discussion, we determine that I need to go and test ride bikes on Friday. CRRRRRAAAAAPPP, this is not on my agenda, this is not in my budget, this is not in my plan, I don’t like curveballs, I plan. Now what? Well, it boils down to this – I could use my TT bike for the rest of the season but I’m not in TT bike shape and the thought of doing 3State3Mountain, REV3 or Triple T is daunting. No, the TT bike just won’t work here.

More bad news…

Your bike is out of warranty. They will get you a crash replacement for something something under wholesale but that will take 4-6 weeks to return, for them to approve and blah, blah, blah. OK, I need a new frame. Well, you need a new fork (got one at home that’s not being used, check!), seat post, cable set (that’s what my bike was in for originally, so OK), bottle cages (we’ll throw those in) and my shorts are toast (I’ll get those later and just hope that my cooter bone and stand up to the pressure, literally). Now, about that second job I was looking for…My advice to all carbon fiber bike peeps, start saving for your next bike as soon as you can – or just be sure to wreck it under warranty. You’re going to need it. Don’t start in on me, it’s a fact. Yes, it’s a fact that you shouldn’t wreck either but that’s not a choice that one would make.

I had decided long ago that my next bike was going to be metal – of some kind. My first bike was steel and I loved it, my second bike was carbon, loved it too, it just has a ‘shelf life.’ I don’t want a bike with a shelf life for Pete’s Sake. Yes, I did have a bike wreck a couple of years ago. At the time, my bike got the OK. After years of riding, post wreck, it stressed the bike enough to fail. So, it was down to light weight steel or titanium…which did I pick!?

Here is my Bianchi that I LOVE as my new, bike room, wall art. RIP little guy, I loved my plastic bike. It’s a new day, new time…

This was my second Bianchi, my second road bike.

And yes, I know you can’t get enough of him either.

Bring out the big Guns, here comes Gunnar!

And big poppa Magnus, drool and all. Yeah, when you’re 70, you can do whatever you’d like. Oh, and this is from his good side;)

Oak Barrel Half and YES, I know, he’s really CUTE!

2010-04-08T05:11:00.000-05:00

BESIDES a 60 mile bike and some Dave Scott Bricks (10/2 x 3), there was the Oak Barrel/Jack Daniels half marathon thrown in for good measure last weekend. Our intent was simple, go out faster than training pace, slower than race pace and negative split it….and be ready for Sunday’s workout bright eyed and bushy tailed. Done, done and done. I finished in 1:56 which is ~10 minutes off my PR pace but I am perfectly happy with it. It started out in a down pour and you couldn’t get any wetter. Soaked to the bone for most of the run, listening to the symphony of sloshing shoes. I got to meet MCM Mama on the start line. How she found me, I’ll never know! Visit her for her race report from a non-Tennessean. Anyway, cut to the chase – great race, well organized, nice Jack Daniels technical shirts and ‘medals’ made out of Oak Barrels and still smell like whiskey, Brunswick stew and corn bread as our finishers meal and that was the day. Double thumbs up and do it if you’re ever in the area. Yes, hilly but it’s Tennessee, it’s just pretty much hilly here….it was pretty, even through the wet.

Where have I been?! Yes, holy crap. I have not had 30 minutes to pee, I swear it. It’s been one helluva training cycle for both me and Gunnar. In the end, hubs takes the brunt of it all, me falling asleep at 8:00pm and the extra puppy details. Thankfully, we are getting close, close to Triple T, that is and I know I’ll be ready. How do you know you’re ready for something you’ve never done before? I’m not sure but mentally, I’m going to crack soon, physically, I feel as fit as ever and those are my two signs. Mentally, I start getting mushy in the head, another week and a half and I get a recovery week to sharpen back up.

This week, 9000 swim, 150 bike, 30 run and I don’t feel like I’m close enough to those goals for it being Thursday and all. I’ll make it, always pull it out of my ass somehow. How does one 25/7 brick in the a.m. and another 25 ride later in the afternoon grab ya? Add in an 80 mile hilly ride the next day and that will be my weekend. Yeah, Triple T training is WEIRD.

These two slay me…..

Almost perfect...

2010-04-02T07:59:00.005-05:00

The day was 78 degrees, it was sunny and the most possible fun was going to be a bike ride. Hurry, hurry, get your stuff, grab bottles, air tires, grab food. Food, mmm, well, I'm out of homemade larabars, and the only thing I have are gels and small packages of Swedish Fish. They're close enough to those gummy electrolyte blocks, right? Threw them in my pocket along with some gels. Crap, headlight, I should be back before dark but you never know what can happen, check, headlight. Gone.

Within the first mile I realize, it's windy, a whole lot windier than I anticipated. Eh, it's still a sunny beautiful day. Oh, there's another cyclist up there, maybe I can catch her. I catch her, we chat, she feels the need to announce her 50 mile ride. I always think that's weird. Of course, if you're announcing, so am I, I raise your 50 mile ride to a 60 mile ride, eat it. I always just think it's weird that people have to announce it to you. I don't give a shit if you rode 15 miles, you're out riding on a nice day. I get it. Reach the first rise and she's gone. It would have been nice to have someone to ride with but, that's that.

Lalala, this isn't SO bad. It's windy but whateves. I see all the usual cows and horses, hi guys. At about miles 30, I feel very bouncy, I look at my reflection and I'm bouncing like I'm spinning too high, no, cadence is 93ish, that's good. I'm not really moving very fast it IS windy. Mmm, my seat is loose? Check, no, seat is not loose. What the hell?! And then it dawns on me, yep, first flat of the season. Joy.

I pull into some farmers driveway and family cemetery and tried to channel the energy of those that were buried there. I said my hellos and don't mind if I set my bike here, do ya? They didn't mind.

Attempt #1 tire changing - fail - I was cussing an my heart started racing. I do NOT want to call home. That is epic fail. Take everything off. Do over.

Attempt #2 - SUCCESS! Went on perfectly, aired up just right, as I stood there admiring my work...a cyclist comes by. Thanks Mr. HunkaCyclist, I don't need your stinkin help, you're 10 minutes too late! I will ALWAYS take an assist when offered but I truly was already done, yay me!

Back on the road, uh, glad I brought that headlight. After my personal victory, I don't know that I passed another soul for miles. It was windy as piss and my almost perfect bike ride turned into a slice of hell. I forgot eye drops and chapstick. My contacts were sandblasted and my lips were bleeding. Very attractive.

Ah well, book it, it's done. All that's left, a half marathon (in the truly FOR FUN fashion) and some Dave Scott Bricks (10/2 x 3, ride 10, run 2, repeat 3 times) on Sunday. Add in some Easter dinner and that will be a wrap! I better get cooking.

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2010-03-31T05:35:00.000-05:00

Back to Regularly Scheduled Programming

2010-03-29T04:26:00.001-05:00

Um, yeah, Gunnar has turned the house upside down. Here we are blogging together and then taking a nap, all that typing is hard work. Thank gawd it was a recovery week or I might have freaked out. I’m freaking out just a little that I have a puppy that can’t hold his pee more than 2.5 hours yet and I have 9000 swim/120mi bike/30 mi run and some other stuff like work to fit in this week. I am getting accustomed to getting up but now I know why mothers eat their young. Sheesh! He’s lucky he’s so dang cute.

Group Rides, love em or hate em?

It’s a mixed bag for me. I am very wary of unknown riders – basically, I don’t trust most people on a bike so I keep my distance, won’t draft or just generally like to give space. I showed up at a Saturday morning group ride to discover a testosterone festival, save for one sweet girl who introduced herself with the caveat – I hope I can keep up, I don’t know my way around here and I just got my bike. Yes, ladies and gents, her bike had a kickstand on it. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to be able to keep up the pace. I was certain these men were going to out do one another in their – who has the biggest penis contest…and I’m going to prove it by riding my bike real fast. Besides the kickstand, she was as sweet as could be and was just happy to have another girl around. It’s hard, I know we all have to start somewhere. I just started out alone or in very small groups before I would even dare bite of this little number. Hell, I was dropped like a bad habit within 8 miles. Oh well, maybe I’ll make it 10 next time. Yeah, I probably won’t be going back either. It’s all good. Everyone needs to get THEIR workouts in. I totally understand it. …and me going redline for 50 miles isn’t going to set me up for this first hell week. Good Gawd help me…

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2010-03-24T05:37:00.001-05:00

Who’s YOUR DADDY?!

2010-03-23T04:21:00.001-05:00

So, sorry, it’s a Lifethings kind of post… Tri peeps looking for killer tips and even better stories may need to tune in another day.

#1 I’m sorry for my lack of posts and serious lack of comments.

#2 I am sleep deprived.

#3 I present to you…Gunnar and Magnus, of course, in Who’s your Daddy!?

Magnus is like a new poppa. Loves the little guy but isn’t afraid to kick his ass when he wants to nip at his ding ding like it’s a nipple. Yeah, Gunnar got the picture in a hurry.

I know I’m biased but seriously, how cute is this?

My schedule is all kinds of jacked up and I barely know my name. The little guy is little and needs to go out every two hours. Oh yes, EVERY…TWO…HOURS. Last nite I saw, 1:30, 3:30 and got up at 5:30. I’m a lite sleeper and he cries when he’s gotta pee. Scoop him up, stumble down some steps, and hit the grass with flashlite in hand. I have to ensure he goes, ya know.

Actually, the other nite, I forgot to put my glasses on. I heard him cry, grabbed jacket, grabbed puppy, grabbed flashlite and went outside. I don’t know what the hell happened – I’m blind as hell but I think he paused to squirt.

I can NOT wait for 4 hours at a stretch. C’mon bladder size, please grow quickly!

In workout news…

Last week was my week to dial IT up – two swims, four bikes, four runs and a couple of strength sessions. Scheduling was a challenge but I’ve learned not to look TOO far ahead. One thing at a time, one week at a time. We had a GREAT early morning long run on Wednesday where we wet our pants when we saw a herd of eyeballs looking at us. Yes, I know, I know, logic did kick in, just some deer. I was really hoping for a wild dingo or something but nothing exciting.

At Masters a couple of people said – you’ve lost weight. Now, my weight hasn’t changed in years +/- 5lbs on vs. off season. Maybe they haven’t seen me in that long or maybe my junk just moved around, who knows, but I’ll take that ANY day of the week.

I solemnly promise to catch up with all y’all this weekend! Pinky swear.

Are You Dirty?

2010-03-18T04:45:00.000-05:00

I know most of you ARE dirty, dirty minded at least or you wouldn’t be HERE. Hey, it’s funny, it might be juvenile at times but it’s funny. Anyway, as I get up at crack ass of dawn to get in my run before work, I catch myself in the mirror and NO I will NOT post a photo -

Hair sticking straight up from last nites slumber.

Hair not washed.

Teeth not brushed…and now drinking coffee.

Then, post coffee moment.

AND only then will I go out to get my morning run in…(solo, I DO brush my teeth for others) looking, feeling and smelling this way.

I have also been known to reuse a favorite pair of dirty tights on a cold day. You know the one’s, the one’s ‘they’ tell you never to wear for fear of raging infection. The one’s that are sitting at the bottom of the workout sweat pile that are good and ripe. BUT they are your favorites and nothing else is clean…

So, I need to run, dirty pair of tights, stinky breath and all. I figure it’s a way of keeping predators at bay. There’s a little cloud around me, like Pig Pen from Peanuts.

Are you dirty?

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2010-03-17T04:35:00.000-05:00

Gunnar at 6 weeks on right with brother – comes home in 1 1/2 weeks!

Season Opener

2010-03-15T05:48:00.000-05:00

First things first – I didn’t talk about it much recently because I was actually VERY nervous about my season opening race. I have not done a solo run race in a while and I started to freak out. I have been doing my long runs, my speed work but I’ve also been a little worn out from swimming and riding. I think this just contributed to my anxiousness. I wanted a PR but I just didn’t feel like I was PR ready. Instead, I just didn’t mention it but now that it’s over….we can talk…

Saturday was the Tom King Half Marathon in Nashville. As a local race, it is a great one. It is the flattest you’re going to get in these parts. The race organization is excellent, at least in my experience. Negatives, the weather usually sucks and this did not disappoint AND the scenery isn’t great. It’s a low key event with a GREAT after race atmosphere and buffet. Full on breakfast buffet action. Totally rocks. Anyway, the race.

Start, cold damp, and I’m nervous as hell. I seriously felt like I was going to barf. WTF?! I know I can do this it was just a matter of how fast. I want a PR but am I PR ready, I want 1:45 but am I 1:45 ready? I knew going in that 1:45 was going to be a real stretch for me right now. So, I settled on 1:47:XX as my PR goal in my mind. It was a PR by a minute or so and now was the time for baby steps.

I was hanging with my peoples before the gun went off, some nervous chatter, nervous pooping and random butt rubbing. My left cheek was already sore and I found myself just standing there, talking to people, rubbing my arse. Oh well, thankfully, they know me well enough not to care. One thing I will never understand, people shoving food down their pie hole right before the start, gels, bars, bananas. If I ate that much five minutes before race time, I’d barf. Guess someone told them to be fueled up. Anyway, we moved our way to the starting line – gun shot – scalded cat, I was off…

Mile 1 – 7:51 – too fast

Mile 2 – 7:51 – maybe not, I feel like I could do this all day. This IS a stupid thought.

Mile 3 – 7:53 – mmm, 1:45???

Mile 4 – 7:56 – maybe I can pull this off. I think this is about when my sandbagger friends, Will and Kathy blew by me like I was standing still. I’m not sure Will can prove it, though. A faulty chip….

Mile 5 – 8:08 – I better have some water. There goes Coach flying by on his way back ‘home.’ I know I yelled or grunted at him at least but he pretty much gets tunnel vision. I know he didn’t hear me.

Mile 6 – 8:00- if I just make it to mile 8, I’m home free. Why did I think this? That’s still quite a ways to go. Around this point, there’s a turn around so I get to see my peeps.

Mile 7 – 8:05 – It’s OK, it’s OK, you’re just settled in now.

Mile 8 – 8:09 – Crap this hurts, I don’t like to run this hard. If I make it to mile 10, I’m home free. Why did I think this again? That still leaves a 5K!

Mile 9 – 8:13 – Wheels are coming off, wheels are coming off. Shit, shit, shit, this hurts, I hurt, I don’t want to run any more.

Mile 10 – 8:24 - I’m at 10, yay, double digits. My junk hurts, my legs hurt, my muscles hurt. This has been hard work. Maybe I should drink something (foreshadowing).

Mile 11 – 8:30 - Holy shit, I should have drank more. My foot is crammmping, my right foot is going to give. Mind over matter, relax the muscles, relax the muscles.

Mile 12 – 8:32 - OK, drinking more now is not going to help my situation much. Foot, ow, ow, ow. Now I have tunnel vision.

Mile 13 – 8:13 - Hells yes, hells yes, I can see the finish line, I can make it around this damn stadium. The faster I go, the faster I’ll be done, the faster I go, the faster I’ll be done.

Mile .1 – 1:03 - OMG, OMG, I hurt, I hurt, I hurt. Wait, does my watch say 1:46:54? Clock, clock, it says 1:47something. Holy crap, holy crap, maybe, just maybe I hit my watch at the right time. (I did!) OMG, huh, huh, huh, I’m so glad that is over. Now, where’s the food?

Yep, I was thrilled with the outcome. Draw your own conclusions on my race plan and strategy. I thought about throwing in the towel more than once. Do NOT give in, Do NOT give up, even when you think the wheels are coming off.

Stay tuned…tomorrow….puppy fever!

Random Bike Thoughts

2010-03-11T04:52:00.001-06:00

First, here’s how it went down…

Plan A – 60 mile bike ride

Plan B – 90 minute trainer ride/core/strength circuit at home (due to forecast)

Plan C – HOLY crap, it’s sunny out and no rain, no rain, no rain, where are my shoes, where’s my helmet, huurrrrry, go, go, go, get out the door.

I opted for Plan C. Plan A wasn’t going to happen, not enough time today AND the wind. If I went with Plan A, it may have taken me four hours, I swear. So, I made the best of Plan C, got in a very difficult (read: windy uphill both ways) kind of ride. The kind of ride where you’re working really hard, you’re on a false flat, you look down and you see a 14. WTF?!?! 14, seriously, I can’t catch my breath and I’m going 14mph. THEN you hit a downhill and you max out at 18mph. Yeah, the wind can SUCK IT. HOWEVER, it was, hands down, better than riding inside, any day.

Random Bike Thoughts

I freak out whenever I see a Chester the Molester van drive by – the utility van with no windows. I am certain they are trolling for me.

I swear, they could bury me over there and no one would know.

When the turkey vulchers are swarming around for something good, ripe and dead, are they just waiting for me to keel over?

I really DID just need new bike shorts. These feel really nice on my bum and cooter bone. Thank gawd!

How the hell am I going to make it through Triple T? I’m scared.

I hate it when people/cyclists throw their banana peels in the shoulder. I still gotta ride through your crap – can you not give it a little distance?

How does someone lose a shoe on a main road where people are not walking? I mean, not a pair, just one shoe.

Why do I like to eat ice cream and Girl Scout Cookies OR drink beer during the Biggest Loser? I DO love to watch big people shrink. I can’t help it, it’s amazing.

What would I do if I won the lotto? I would have a man servant, that’s what I would do. Someone to have my shit done and ready at all times. Grocery shopping done, food cooked, bike cleaned and aired up….all of it.

And now it’s time to hit the track for a fun morning of…whatever coach has in store…before the hail hits!

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2010-03-10T05:17:00.000-06:00

Screaming Hamstrings and Hills of Hell

2010-03-08T05:42:00.000-06:00

I knew this ride would make me cry or at least bring me close to tears. 45 miles of hill repeats. Thankfully, we finally had a decent day and could actually ride without gloves and a toboggan for Pete’s Sake! After some official coaching moments and talk of race readiness, we were off. I was feeling fine, no worries, it wasn’t going to be fast, it wasn’t going to be pretty but I knew it was doable. UNTIL the dogs came out. I swear, they always look happy but you haven’t seen me yell louder or ride faster up a hill unless I see big dogs in the road just waiting to take a bite out of my ass. I’m OK with one dog but when they summon their ‘friends’ to join in the fun, I’m gone and just hoping that Great Pyrenees didn’t get a hold of my wheel because I’m certain he could take me down and may just outweigh me.

Other than having complete discussions with every farm animal along the way (in that high I’m talking to animals voice), ME bitching about how badly my hamstrings are screaming, and a song or two – it was mostly just wheezing. Just huffing and puffing and wheezing. I thought I might die a few times. I wanted to call for a ride more than once and even considered it in the last five miles. BUT, what kind of team mate pusses out and calls their daddy to pick them up?! SO, I knew that the cars were within sight which meant SO was food. We are so happy at the end – I’m actually dying here because I’m holding my breath, must look good for picture, must look good for picture, neck out and down, don’t look like you have a waddle, no chicken waddle. Thanks to Tilghman (my Triple T Teammate and pard’ner in crime and Triswami, our coach who tried to lend me his Speedo as my ‘bandana’ for the ride. Thanks but I think this will work just fine).

After a presto-chango in a school parking lot, giving a flash to some kid getting ready for a basketball game, we were off. Poor kid, I’m surprised he didn’t run to his dad yelling – daddy my eyes are burning, that lady was neck-ED. I really wish we weren’t so uptight. You just make it more obvious that your changing your clothes by trying not to SHOW anything. I could change a whole lot faster if I could just strip down for 30 seconds rather than do a contortionist routine between some car doors….hiding nothing.

This week, it’s back to the pool to see how the shoulder holds up. I’m sure it’ll be fine, just easy and slow. BUT whenever I try to swim in a different lane, I get kicked out. I promise I won’t swim up your butt, I haven’t been in the pool in three weeks. I’ll be wheezing just like on the bike!

Tagged Twicet

2010-03-05T05:53:00.000-06:00

I have been tagged twicet (that's how we say it in da souf, twice-T)...once by Leana and once by Amanda. All were random things about me, one was six and the other was ten. We'll see how far I get, I'm pretty sure you're sick of MY randomness. I will steal Leana's idea and do 6-10 random things that make me cry.

Thinking about my mom, like really thinking about all the things I missed out on with her. The things I should have had - she should have been at my wedding, she should have helped me move into my house, shoulda, shoulda, shoulda. I cry when I think about the other things I have lost, what she smells like and what her voice sounds like. Her laugh, man, we did laugh...
Staring at pictures of old Kasha girl and thinking about her swimming with me all those summers.
Losing my dad. He's the last bit of immediate family I have, he's all I got. Just me and him, him and me, we are the end of the family line.
The beginning of the animated movie - UP. OK, this is a kids movie and I'm sure they didn't get it but that little old guy losing his little old wife who couldn't make babies. That killed me. I know, animated.
A bike ride after 2 hours with bad - old shorts. That can bring a tear, fo' reals.
When I had a level 4 (?) sprain on my right ankle two years ago. I was running on New Years Eve 2008. It was my first, easy, post Ironman run and I rolled on this rock. I still have it. It was a clear day, perfectly clear. I was looking up for cars not down for rocks. I rolled, it popped, I cried, I pulled of my shoe and threw it, cried some more, ran into the middle of the street to get this daYum rock. Little Bitch.
That ASPCA commercial with all the homeless dogs. I got to flip it.
When I get overwhelmed by life - looking at my training schedule in the month of April, that makes me cry or it will make me cry. I'm not there yet but I will be - the kind of day that starts at 345-4am, deal with dogs and puppy (yay), get in a long run, home, shower, eat, work all day, swim, home, kiss husband, kiss a dog and go to bed. It's those kinds of days that make me cry. Pure exhaustion.
I can laugh so hard that I cry. This does not happen often. I actually made someone laugh so hard at work that they cried today. That brings me joy like you can't imagine.
Yeah, I think think that's all I got, I only got nine...I guess that's a good thing!

Crushing workout and postponed TT

2010-03-04T06:13:00.003-06:00

I had a crushing and boring cycling workout on Wednesday eve. I wanted to claw my eyes out. It was looong, sustained intervals to really bad music. Will someone please buy that guy and iTunes card or make him a 'mix tape?' For the love of Pete, I don't even care if it's old tunes, 80's tunes, rock tunes, SOMETHING to help with those intervals. I'm not sure, I think they were about 20 minutes each or so. I thought I was going to flip out in the last 10 minutes, I kinda did.

First things first - this is an indoor cycling class on computrainers. Everyone's stats are posted on the wall. This particular class only had two chicks, me and another (small) girl. The Treadmill Affect - when your stats are on the wall, it DOES keep you honest, you can't dial down your spin bike with no one knowing, you can't fake 110RPMs, you can't fake power. Just like when you're on a treadmill and you walk into something that's not your 'regular people' everyone is sizing the other up. Well, this is just pointless since it's just me and another girl across the room. All the guys (on my side, about 4) are well into 250s threshold, one beast was 365, I think. There is NO sense in even trying to 'hold on' to these guys during this ride. They ARE stronger, just a fact at this point, his calves were enormous! Anyway, some guy, didn't seem to like the fact that I was 'beating him.' He dialed down his threshold to match mine and then below mine to ensure that he could beat me. Who knows, maybe he WAS having a bad day, we all do. It was just funny to me. I wanted to say, be proud, you beat a girl, but I didn't.

THEN, there's Too Cool For School riding on the end. OK, yes, he was cute, yes, he was fast, BUT HE WORE HIS SUNGLASSES AT AN INDOOR CYCLING CLASS AT NITE. NO he's not visually impaired, I checked. Maybe he has pink eye, maybe his eyes are hideous making him not so cute after all? Regardless, really, sunglasses? Um, yeah, you get the Captain Douchebag Award for the week.

With 10 minutes left, I had to turn my threshold down too, my legs were crushed and I didn't even care about my pride. I just wanted to be able to finish the workout. As my legs wobbled and I gathered my gear - I remembered I had a 3 mile running TT in the morning. Yeah, uh, NO way. Thankfully, coach agreed. No sense in falling over for a 3 mile TT at 5am and 22 degrees, thank you very much. This can wait for another day.

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2010-03-03T04:48:00.000-06:00

Back to Basics - Part 2

2010-03-01T05:13:00.001-06:00

Here is Part 1, in case you missed it. Back to Basics Part 2 - I made my own 'Bumble Bars' and larabars. I'm telling you, they're the bomb. Thanks to the peeps that posted those recipes. I made the basic bumble bar recipe and larabar recipe with the dried cherries. Both taste just like the store bought at a fraction of the price. I love them, but they're so expensive. In my quest for natural and easily palatable goodness while working out, I will try the homemade bumble bars, larabars and coconut water. We'll see how I fare. As long as it doesn't become a fart festival with all that fruit and nuts....

Recovery week was just that - full of recovery and good times. I feel rested and ready to go. It's funny, I feel like my body is so accustomed to this cycle - three weeks on, one week recovery - that I could tell you it was 'time' even without a calendar. I'm like that with my taper too. I know when it's time. The time to taper, for me, is when I start breaking down into tears and don't care if I never race again. It's when I'm spent physically and emotionally. When I start crying, my coach knows it's time for me to taper. It's not just a a tired, worn out cry either, it's a - I'm DONE with it cry.

And in dog news...it looks like...Roland will be here around Easter. If everything goes as planned during our visit in two weeks, the little guy will come home with us around Easter/Wedding Anniversary. We think 'Grandma' would approve...

Timeline

2010-02-25T05:58:00.004-06:00

4:00am - alarm blasts to wake me out of a deep slumber. Hit snooze. Coffee begins to brew.

4:00:30am - Magnus gets up and is ready to eat. I tell him to go back to bed, he does and does that dog sigh.

4:05am - OK, sleep until the alarm goes off again at 4:10am.

4:10am - CRAP! Hit snooze button.

4:11am - debate about going back to bed for another two hours and running after work. Surely it will be warmer and I can run outside.

4:14am - logic kicks in to remind self - you're not going to feel any more rested if you try to go back to sleep now, you may feel worse.

4:16am - this is a recovery week, shouldn't I be sleeping in? I hate the suckmill, I can run outside later.

4:19am - alarm is going to go off in another minute, fish or cut bait, fish or cut bait.

4:19:59am - turn off alarm and decide to go to the gym for a short recovery week run.

4:20am - smell of coffee travels upstairs...we don't want it to go to waste.

4:21am - fine, fine, fine, UP, I'm up, I'm up.

4:30am - look outside at the neighbors to see who is up. What ARE they doing in there anyway? No one in their right mind is up at this hour. FREAKS! (I seriously think that every time I see someone else up at 4:anythingA.M.)

4:35am - mainline coffee.

4:45am - do what naturally happens after one mainlines coffee. Thank GAWD, I hate starting a workout without pooping. It only spells disaster.

4:50am - open garage and hope that a bird hasn't made warm shelter in there. It makes me wet my pants when I open the garage and a bird starts flying around.

4:58am - arrive at gym with the 'old people' and a few meat heads.

5:02am - warm up on the suckmill + 4 mile run while reading the TVs in front of me. There's really more questions than answers when reading the TV. Like, this expert looks like you found him under a rug somewhere, how is this guy a whale expert? He looks half dead and mangled himself. Expert? Really? What kind of expert would that make me, then?

...there were many more conversations in my head while plodding on the road to nowhere. What is that smell? Who puts perfume on at 5am, seriously!? I'm going to puke. Dude, you don't have to look over my shoulder to see how fast I'm going. I'm not going fast today and YOU can't make me. Oh, it doesn't look like I'm working hard, guess what, I'm NOT.

5:15am - I guess this is the time where all treadmills are full at this place. Glad I got here on time. I never get to the gym 'on time.'

5:20am - I hate the gym, look at all those sweat splatters and marks everywhere. I wonder what kind of vermin is growing in here?

...is that the smell of Ben-Gay? Who farted? Lady, if you don't crack even a little sweat on that bike, you're not going fast enough. Lalalala, how much longer, I hate this thing!

5:30am - Oh look there, 10 more minutes, OK, 15, 15 more minutes. I can be home by 6:00am.

5:45am - DONE, yeehaw! I'm out of here bitches!

6:00am - Good no bird trapped in garage.

6:09am - start second pot of coffee for hubs.

6:12am - finish this drivel....

As always, hate to get up but so thrilled once it's over. I'm always happy when it's done. I'm never upset that I got up to do it either. It's the getting up part...

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2010-02-24T04:26:00.000-06:00

No Love on Love Circle

2010-02-22T05:47:00.004-06:00

So, you open up your workout schedule and see hill repeats. Is there anything more painful OR more boring than repetitive work like that? I mean, the pain in my lungs and then the pain in my legs, and then just doing the same thing three times. Well, that was until I found a little gem in town. Yeah, I'm about a decade behind too. Apparently, it's a favorite place for Love, we'll say. I had no clue that I was in store for a treat, I just knew there would be pain. At my pace, it was going to take ~7 minutes to climb, coach says. Wow, yeah, not short.

#1 - take it easy, don't push it. Save it for the last two. All I'm thinking is - if I slow down any more, I'm walking. The swoosh of my gortex pants was so annoying that I couldn't stand myself. Final push involves stairs to get to the top most point. Stairs, really!? And then, there it was...The Nashville Skyline before dawn. The town is still asleep and I get to see it from 'the top.' Yeah, this isn't the greatest picture but you get the idea. I was doubled over, heaving, trying to catch my breath and trying to catch a peak at this before I headed back down. The descent was questionable since it was dark and I was just hoping not to fall on the hill into the little DNA pool that constitutes Love Hill.

#2 - make this faster than the #1. Crap, really, faster?! I think I laid it on the line pretty good the first time. Nothing changes except for one thing - now I know what's at the top and I'm like a dog learning a new trick. - Now if I just get to the top, I get a treat, if I just get to the top, I get another treat, be a good girl and just do what he says. I get to the top and yep, it hasn't moved, I was faster and I almost puked on my shoe, perfect. BUT, I got another glimpse of the skyline as the light starts to peak out, that thin line of pink where the sun tries to break through. Back down....

#3 - faster than #2 or #1, I don't know if I have it but I DO know that I have a treat waiting for me at the top and it is to be slightly different than the last two times. Yep, I have determined that I can train like a dog. If there's a little treat waiting for me, it sure makes it not so painful or at least not so repetitive. TOP for the LAST time ... ahhhh, doubled over, heaving, trying to catch my...breath...but look...more...sun...city...is...waking...up. Now, if there was just a snack and a coffee waiting for me on the last one, that would have taken the cake!

...and it's all been outside my 'front door' this whole time. Wow, I need to get out more! Recovery week for me and yep, you're right, I'm thrilled. I am currently nursing a nagging shoulder so it'll mostly be cycling, running and shoulder rehab for me. Forgive me if I seem to be lacking in swim here. It'll just have to wait a few weeks.

Farts and Fruit and the Frog Lady

2010-02-18T04:06:00.000-06:00

Initially, I thought my early season racing was going to be the most ingenious idea evah. Not so much. While I'm notorious for saving all my A races for November, I opted for a May A race. I full well knew there would be lots of trainer time but I didn't bargain for treadmill time. I have: a) become a total baby about weather b) already know what it's like to run and race in crap weather and c) lost my love for cold weather running. I USED to think that high 30's/low 40's was optimum and would wear shorts or maybe a pair of tights. NOW, crap, I wear at least one pair of tights and maybe my gortex pants to cut the wind. Yes, I know they have great high-tech tights that I could invest in but this is the first year in Tennessee that I have even used my gortex pants. I've been here 15 years for crying out loud. I'm just ready for some good average 50 degree weather and sunshine.

I'm sitting here, eating cake, watching the evening Olympics and my booberry buzzes with an email - subject line - farts and fruit. I am totally intrigued and must read, it's from Judi so I KNOW this is going to be good. Here is the content...

i thought of you tonight as i rode the trainer for 2 hours on an apple and water. farts galore.

I must say, there is nothing that makes me happier than to be the bright spot in your life. When you fart, you think of me. Actually, it couldn't be any more appropriate. Hell, my mother was the queen of the latent blame the other guy fart and the SBD fart that could clear a room. She was much like me. I can't help it, farts are funny.

EVERYONE gets credit for showing up to the gym and working out. Hands down - including the people in the pool that look like they're going to drown. They're trying. Wednesday, the frog lady was at the pool. I don't know that I have ever seen anything quite like it. She had every apparatus on except for water wings. Goggles, cap, snorkel, neoprene hand mit/glove thingies, and fins. No, she didn't look like Lady Gaga in the Kermit costume but I was pretty sure she could sit on a lily pad and hang out for a while. I wanted to laugh but I was just glad she was there froggin around.

Hill repeats on tap this morning. I hear it will take me about seven minutes and I have the pleasure of doing it three times. Yeah, can't wait.

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2010-02-17T04:18:00.000-06:00

Monday Mind-dump

2010-02-15T05:41:00.004-06:00

Thanks to everyone for your comments on my back to basics approach to nutrition. I ran 13.1 with a few dried apricots, coconut water and plain water. I am being very careful with regard to the fiber content but managed that part just fine. For longer events, I will have to carry a variety to get in different types of sugar for digestion but I was mostly pleased with my results.

I'm sick of snow in Tennessee and no snow for the winter Olympics.

I've turned into a total wimp - it was ~38 out for my run yesterday with some drizzle. I wore tights, a top, gortex pants, jacket, gloves and a hat. I looked like a throw back weenie from the 80's but if my legs aren't warm, I can't move. I did look like a real winner.

I'm a sucker for the Olympics BUT mostly the objective events. Get into subjective and scoring and I'm out.

Do people (who are not dating) really celebrate Valentine's Day? I don't mean grab a card or a flower while you're already at the grocery store either but really celebrate VDay? I figure I already have a wedding anniversary and save for an extra 'I love you lots,' it's just another day. Oh, I did buy a red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting if that counts for anything.

I've been MOSTLY good about ingesting foods that I can: pronounce, recognize and are not engineered to be larger than they would be in nature. EXCEPT for last nite, I'm a sucker for a good pizza. I have no clue what kind of greasy goodness was in that thing but it rocked and NO I'm NOT eating a pizza with no cheese, broccoli and chicken. That, my friend, is NOT pizza.

Workout review - all done, 6000 swim, 100+ bike, 20+ run, +lift. I know how to start a new week too, with my off day. I have to take a day off for recovery and sanity. I think this week will be similar to last. Now, if the ice and snow would just go away. REALLY?!? I live in the 'souf for Pete's sake. This is ridiculous.

Back to Basics

2010-02-11T04:01:00.002-06:00

Truth is, I've never found the perfect answer for my nutritional needs during a long race - half ironman +. I forever get knocked up with a water baby as my body seems to shut down and stop processing or passing fluid. I feel thirsty, so I drink. One thing that is easy to do is confuse a dry mouth on a dry day with thirst. I have found that gum actually helps me with this. Fine, fine. But as any race lengthens, my tolerance for gels, blocks, beans or any kind of fake nutrition, lessens. The other thing I HATE while running or riding a bike, chewing. Seems simple enough but I struggle with keeping my breathing under control while I chew. Common, I'm sure. I feel like I've tried every kind of manufactured drink, bar, gel, block and bean, every brand and every type. So this started the conversation...what about food as fuel? Real, honest food that doesn't require 18 preservatives to keep it 'fresh' in your pantry for 8 months OR doesn't require high fructose corn syrup to make it remotely palatable. Hmmm, novel idea, food as fuel. I'm listening.... I have only recently tried Coconut water and I LOVE it. Of course, it has been the drink of choice for many endurance runners over the years. I've read about it but never tried. Yep, a keeper. I have NOT tried under hot or humid conditions but I am hopeful. Supposed to carry all the good electrolyte shiz I need, perfect. Water out of a coconut and some good ole H2O, could it be my answer? Maybe my body isn't fond of every kind of -ose sugar on the planet...don't take my Coke away from me on a long hot bike ride, I might hurt you!

Then, we got to thinking and talking (dangerous combination) and, gulp, the idea of eating food for training and racing entered the picture. This brought back a marathon memory...

Over 10 years ago, when I was willing to punish myself with marathons (haha), I used to run with these old warriors around a local park/neighborhood. They were a bunch of old guys who were pretty hardcore/old school. While I'm eating gels and drinking some concoction, one guy carried nothing, even on warm days. Periodically, we'd drink out of someones hose in their yard but that was all that he took in. These were 15-22 mile runs in hot and humid conditions. I remember him saying - I guess I don't need all that stuff since I've been eating/sucking on these dried apricots the whole time. That is all he used on a long run, dried apricots and little water. I have a bag of dried apricots so I looked, compared to a packet of gel...one serving is about the same as a packet of gel in terms of nutrition. Apricots had more sugar and fiber (could be a problem). The only other issue would be the amount of apricots in one serving - I just couldn't pound that many. BUT, as I sat on my trainer for 2.5 hours last nite, I drank water, coconut water and ate apricots. I was not pushing it but my body tolerated it nicely - except for the gas part. Slightly more gassy but whatever, not terrible. You're not supposed to be drafting me anyways.

All of that to say, if old marathon man was doing this same thing over 10 years ago, why can't we!? Really, has it been this simple? Have I been trying to complicate my life with the latest and greatest potion? Don't get me wrong, I LOVE a Coke on a hot bike ride and will stop to get one from time to time but maybe it's just the simple sugar and sodium that makes it work just fine for me. Maybe I don't NEED to eat and drink every 20 minutes or 45 minutes for a gel? Do I seriously just need to let my thirst dictate when I have a sip rather than force it in based on my watch? Holy crap....

In Magnus news...he's adjusting to one eye nicely! Here's to keeping an eye on you!

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2010-02-10T05:47:00.001-06:00

Geaux Saints!

2010-02-08T09:09:00.004-06:00

A killer ending to a great week! Yay for NOLA, I'm very happy for them. While I love Peyton, he's amazing and a UT grad, it was the Saints turn. What a great game. Now, what to do with all my free time on Sunday's?!?!

All workouts in the bank, 6000 swim, 100 mi bike, 20 mi run and two strength. This MAY be the ugliest week in a long time, however. It was just the kind where you should just leave your watch or Garmin at home because you KNOW it's going to be a ugly. Mile repeats at the track...solo, SUCK IT! I could not find any speed. I didn't crumble at the end and held the pace, it was just a sucky pace, that's all. Indoor computrainer group ride 2.5 hours, uh, legs on fir-AH from the days previous sucktackular 11 mile run. I had to wear a full Gortex wind/rain suit on that run. 15-20mph winds with 35 mph gusts, yep, felt awesome when you turned right into it...uphill. I had Dermatone all over my face, thank gawd. Stuff rocks - and NO they did not GIVE this to me to review. It is my unbiased opinion. Sonofabitch. Back to that indoor computrainer ride, yes, it really was like riding in hummus, as a friend so eloquently put it. I never found IT, never found any kind of rhythm or groove.

I would like to blame the usual scapegoat my cycle, yes, ladies and gents, my period. At the cool age of 37, one would think this is not a factor or just something that is easily managed. Really, cramps?!? I'm thirty effen seven years old and I have cramps. C'mon, give this shit to some young pup that hasn't paid their dues. 25 years of this proverbial mess and it is still a factor. When all I wanted was the sofa, a hot pad and my mom to make me hot chocolate and tell me I didn't have to go to school - I ran, I rode, I did all that shit that was on my schedule. Albeit a little angry about it (can you tell), but it's done. This week is certain to be better on the workout front. If my legs ever come back. Even though, I didn't have the speed, the effort was there...my hamstrings tell me it is so!

Weekly Numbers

2010-02-04T04:37:00.001-06:00

There were many recent comments on my last post about my weekly training numbers. Please keep in mind - my A race is in May...and it's February already. Hell, I may not DO another race this year after May chews me up and spits me out with 3State 3Mountain Century, REV3 Half IM and Triple T for Pete's sake! We'll see. Specifically, I got questions about my 6000 swim for this week. ***Disclaimer - this is NOT to sound snotty or over the top. The truth is, I don't get into the water for less than 3000 yards or meters UNLESS I'm doing a brick specific workout or tapering. This year, I will max at 9000/week or three workouts. My max ever was 20,000 metards in a week and my blood and urine were polluted with chlorine, I'm sure of it. Could I get the same or more benefit if that 6000 was over three or four days, even? Maybe. For the most part, I don't get into the water for less than 3000 and for me it's scheduling. The pool is not the most convenient thing in the world and requires so much showering in a day. My skin is dry enough, thank you very much. So there.

So far this week - two runs, two bikes, one swim, one lift...long run, long bike, one swim and one lift to go. Yep, I'll make it.

Oh, did you know that sheet cake is NOT proper fuel for your post work workout? I was doing 3 x 1 mile repeats with a 1.5 warm up and 1.5 cool down. Yeah, the track is 1.5 miles from the house. Anyway, someone at work left a daYum sheet cake out and the end with the frosting 'rose' on it was left. Far be it from me to let it go to waste. I took a slab of cake that was at least the size of a babies head and ate it with glee. I thought I was going to puke frosting all over myself trying to run at the track. That daYum cake tasted good but it wasn't worth it...as always, the guilt has settled in. The real question, will I be able to resist the next sheet cake? Please, friends, do NOT have a birthday any time soon. I KNOW, I KNOW, I gotta fit into that singlet...crap!

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2010-02-03T06:26:00.002-06:00

Back into the swing...

2010-02-01T04:34:00.000-06:00

The big news here in the South has been the weather. Yes, I'm FROM the North but have been here for ~15 years. While I'm not an alarmist and think that most of the time the forecasters are full of crap, there's just not a lot you can do when there is no snow and ice removal. The main streets, I suppose, but not my 'hood. So, after being one with my bike trainer and weights for three days, I decided that I really needed to be outside. It wasn't going to be a run but maybe the fastest walk I could muster in my hiking boots with big Magnus. You can handle a lot when it's sunny out, though. Sonofabitch - I don't own crampons and pick ax for pete's sake! We slid all over the 'hood and were the only jackasses out, needless to say. My weight wouldn't even break through the crust of ice.

Recovery week - what a treat. Besides the fact that many of my workouts were foiled by the weather, as were my plans with friends, I DID make it to the Government Mule show at the Ryman. If you appreciate a rock solid guitarist, Warren Haynes is for you. He is ridiculous, crazy good. I think Rolling Stone put him at #23 of top 100 guitarists of all time back in 2003...I think that is on the low side. Here's pictures of me hanging with the band.
Funny moments at the show - seeing all the young and old hippies that are following Government Mule. The overwhelming odor of patchouli and BO. Now, I had my phase too with the Dead, Phish, Rat Dog, Widespread Panic HOWEVER we, mostly, grow up. There was a chick who had tattooed her entire face, her hair was a lice filled mess of un-kept dread locks (you have to treat your locks properly and just not washing your hair is not the answer) and she had a tattooooed face, the WHOLE thing. OK, I'm not a tattoo person but WTF are you thinking? Her brilliant statement in the bathroom - I've never been this effe'd with at a show in my life, I just wanted to smoke a little (fill in the blank), jeeze. Oh, poor little girlie, you're in the historic Ryman Auditorium, this isn't some outdoor show.

This week IS - 6000 swim, 100mi on the bike, 20 mi running and some core/strength. I have been better about not obsessing about my schedule. I'm so A-Type that I have to have it more than a week in advance. I have to be able to plan and work around vacation and others schedules too. While it freaks me out looking at it, somehow, by the end of the week, it all gets done. So there! Bring it on, I'm ready...if this ice ever melts.

Totally Thoughtless Thursday

2010-01-28T05:39:00.004-06:00

My recovery week is going great - thanks for asking. I have been able to walk a dog and cook a meal. Always good for everyone.

EVERYONE should watch Food Inc. I think it will force you to make some different decisions you may not have thought about before. It might revolutionize the way and what you eat or you may just take baby steps. Either way. The notion of eating REAL honest to goodness food. Comcast has it On Demand for $4.99 or you can buy it on Amazon thru Friday for $9.99. A must watch.

I make a deal with the devil AKA my alarm clock every, single morning. I never get up when I set it, just at the last possible second before I have to get up to workout or get to work. WHY? I doze off but it's not like I'm getting good sleep in those 2-3 times I hit the snooze.

We are getting ready for the deep freeze here in the South. Hurry, better get to the grocery and buy all the milk and bread you can get your hands on. I swear, the forecasters are in bed with the grocery stores around here and like to cause a panic. I know, I know, caution, Kentucky was SOL last year when the power was out for weeks.

Coffee and poop, the two things I must have or do to get each day started. Otherwise, migraine and constipation ensue.

Government Mule tonite ..... woohoo, southern rock at its finest.

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2010-01-27T04:59:00.000-06:00

And the angels sang...

2010-01-24T17:36:00.004-06:00

...and gave me this very special gift, recovery week. Yes, angels flew out of my coaches butt when I saw this week on my schedule. I DO love it so. To me, it's just the rejuvenation I need to get it rolling again. Three weeks in the bank and this one, the fourth one, will be a piece of cake.

I started to feel overwhelmed as I looked at my race schedule and training plans as we ramp up to May. I mean, REALLY overwhelmed in the - I can't do this - kind of way. I mean, I know I CAN do it, it just seems like so much right now. Thing is, it's not and it's not even close to 'so much.' I know I can do more, like double. I've done it before, right? So, my good friend Dave just said, one day at a time, one week at a time and don't get caught up in those six weeks of peak week hell. Just keep on plugging away and it all will come. I know he's right, right?

I did get to end my week on a high note - a long run that just felt good and, gulp, FUN and a ride that was very painful and hard but good. All workouts complete. Yeehaw. I suppose that's how it all happens, everything just starts to fall into place and feel right or normal again. That's where I am, getting into the routine and starting to enjoy it. I really hate getting caught in the 'have to' of all my workouts. Why did I start doing all this in the first place, duh, it's fun. Getting back into the swing and being around all my friends and training partners certainly helps. They are a daYum funny bunch I tell ya. They say things like - the callouses on my arse and cooter bone are not developed yet, this ride is going to hurt OR my shoes feel like their filled with water and I know I didn't piss on myself. Yeah, they make a 7:30am Sunday Computrainer ride fuuun.

Tag You're IT! and ramblings

2010-01-22T04:47:00.001-06:00

Thanks to Keith, I have to come up with 10 simple things that make me happy. I'm not going to go with the standard - hubs, dad, dog, friends - they are not simple and they most certainly make me happy. Hell, they are what make me who I am today. I'm going with simple joys ...

Clean sheet day + lots of fabric softener + freshly shaven legs - oohh lala, feels sooo nice!
When someone falls...I know they can really hurt themselves but when someone falls (unless it's Grandma) it's funny.
Making the next swim interval down from your usual pace - breakthrough.
Keeping up with the boys on a bike.
An extra large pizza (OR Mexican food) and pitcher of beer after keeping up with the boys on a bike.
A perfect fitting bra, just a regular every day bra that does not pinch, pick, slide or poke. Still rare these days and I don't even have big boobies.
Putting on my winter jacket and finding cash in the pocket.
Finding out that the coffee pot has been cleaned and not fermenting yesterday's brew.
Making other people laugh, in particular, if I can make them snort or spit their drink...that makes me very happy.
Monkeys, anything with a monkey in it makes me laugh or smile, a commercial an ad, anything. Monkeys, final answer.

So that's my list of some simple things that bring me joy! In workout news...

Did my hill repeats after the storm blew through - makes for wet feet. Whateves, book it, done.
By the time you read this, I'll be in the pool.
Instead of happy hour tonite, I'll be on a bike trainer, yep, bike trainer. Just running out of time this week so Friday nite it is.
Saturday/Sunday - trainer, long run and lift....and that's a wrap of week three.
It IS a great feeling when your fitness starts to come around again. I can feel it.

Themeless Thursday

2010-01-21T05:28:00.004-06:00

I was called out by hubs and a fellow blogger for missing the mark on Wordless Wednesday. My only excuse, and it's not a good one, HUA syndrome - that's head up the ass syndrome. With Monday off work, I was off by a day. So, my apologies. Here you go...and if you can explain them, let me know!

The story around here - rain and reworking your schedule around the rain. Seriously may have to do 'hill repeats' on the suck mill. I'm running out of days in the week and it looks like lots of rain still in the forecast. BUTTTT, next week is my favorite week, that's right...RECOVERY WEEK. I love them, I don't care what you say. They are what I strive for each and every day, just one...step...closer...to...a...recovery week. Woohoo! On tap, besides sleep is the Government Mule concert at the Ryman Auditorium. Oh yes, if Nashville has one thing, it's good live music and a lot of it.

In the bank this week, one bike, one run, one strength, one swim. Two bikes, two runs, one strength and one more swim to go. Crap! And it's Thursday already. Guess who will be partying it up on a trainer this Friday nite? I can feel it, can you?

Let's be clear...

2010-01-19T05:26:00.000-06:00

Let us be clear about that little race schedule I posted the other day...

I will not 'race' all of them, hell, I won't race most of them. There will be no taper and no recovery and I may have to ride my bike to or at some of those half mary's. So, as far as race targets - to live to see another day and success at Triple T. Just like an "Ironman Year" this is my Triple T year and all else is incidental, part of the 'plan.'

But one good thing has happened from me opening up my big mouth...some blogger peeps are going to come run the Oak Barrel Half Marathon. Jack Daniels is the sponsor and the 'medals' are made from old barrels of JD. How cool is that!? Bring it on, the more the merrier and save me some Jack at the finish line. I won't be setting any records, no doubt.

It's good to be back on the wagon and tough all at the same time. Nothing like increasing your mileage in all three sports by 100%. Crap, the first week, I thought it might kill me. Last week, much better. This is not a regimen that I would recommend to anyone but my base was still in tact from last year so it hasn't been too bad.

Although, last Saturday at a party, I said to hubs - I think I broke my ass today! He said - your coccyx? (Because we just like to say coccyx). No, not my coccyx, just my ass, like there's another crack in it. How far did you run today? - nine miles. You better stretch that out. ...at which point I got down on the ground to stretch and felt 100x better. Thankfully, I have friends that understand and don't ask questions.

Put up or shut up...I have paid up!

2010-01-16T09:24:00.006-06:00

March 13, 2010 - Tom King Half Marathon

April 3, 2010 - Oak Barrel Half Marathon

May 1, 2010 - 3-State 3-Mountain Century

May 9, 2010 - REV3 Knoxville Half Ironman

May 21-23, 2010 - Triple T

...and that, my friends, is my race schedule as I sit here on 1/16/2010. Help me, this might kill me, I'm not sure. This kind of makes me want to cry just looking at it. See, told you I wouldn't register for any late season races...yet!

Tagged and Frozen

2010-01-14T05:00:00.001-06:00

Trish tagged me so here's my seven things about me...I will try to make them newish for all you old timers out there. I'm kind of an open book so let's see, what don't you know, mmm???

1. There were nine people at my wedding and we were two of the nine. I cringe when I see a wedding show on tv, a $4000 dress, a $15,000 cake, WTF people!? You can put a down payment on a house for that kind of jack. I wore a ~$100 off the rack number and some Birkenstocks, it was a great day. If people spent as much effort on their MARRIAGE that they did on their WEDDING, there wouldn't be as many marriages and subsequent divorces, I'm convinced.

2. I think everything is funny or can be funny in context. Context, let's be clear now.

3. I didn't start running or doing any kind of sport until I was in my 20's, post college. OK, that's not new but did you know that I showed horses, Morgans, to be exact. That was my sport of choice. I wasn't great at that either but I loved it and my horse (Winchester) was like a really big dog. When he died, so did my love for the sport.

4. I have reason to believe that hubs might be ready for another pup around the house this year...after Triple T. Oh, for the love of a puppy...and all that pee....

5. Please select 1 for English and 2 for Spanish...this makes me totally insane. My dad and aunt were dropped into the first grade and didn't speak a lick of English. Guess what you did then? Yep, you acclimated - quickly. You learned to communicate - quickly. Why? Because YOU HAD TO. There were no tutors, no after school groups or anyone that worked with them, here you go kid, figure it out. I know you'll find this shocking but they did, they did just fine.

6. I dream of writing a book. Topic, hell if I know. When ever I work at it or research 'writing,' it seems so vanilla to me, like I'm back in school and need to write a theme about my Red Rider BB Gun or something. I just write. It's not proper, it's not correct, it's just me on the paper. Hell, YOU read it. Yeah, I know, I know, because it's free.

7. I wonder regularly when I'll feel like an athlete. It's so stoooopid but it's true. I've done more than most, not as much as some, I don't set records but I'm pretty daYum consistent. I'm proud of my accomplishments and so are those around me. I just wonder when I'll feel like an 'athlete.' Maybe that's why I keep reaching and searching, who knows. Ironman is one of the greatest things I've ever done but it feels like 100 years ago and some other person.

So there's seven (maybe some new) things about me!

So I leave for my run the other morning - two shirts, one jacket, two thin hats, gloves and ONE pair of tights (and dermatone slathered on my face). Regular tights, not fleece or anything. I don't know what thee hell I was thinking. My legs were cold to start but I just kept telling myself they'd warm up. Topper, my ankles were exposed. Seriously, if I had all that stuff 'on top' what made me think a little pair of tights was going to do ANYTHING? When I got back, my legs were on fire and my ankles were a shade of purple...and swollen. I was concerned that I had actually done real damage here. Fear not, friends, I am fine - except for the screeching in the shower when warm water hit frozen skin.

Now, it's off to meet triswami (my coach) and partner in crime for our three mile TT. This is my least favorite 'event.' It's as bad as a 5K and I haaaate them. OH, but I do have on two pair of pants today, in case you were worried.

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2010-01-13T04:03:00.001-06:00

Week One, down and the Blind Side

2010-01-11T05:13:00.005-06:00

Week one of Triple T training complete. I have quickly forgotten how hungry and how sleepy I get during regular training weeks. I completed 9 of 10 of my prescribed workouts and since I did ZERO the week prior, I'm pretty happy that I survived. It was slow, it was ugly, I bitched a lot but it's done.

Now, I'm not looking for cold weather sympathy. Many of yous have it much harder than I do here in TN. HOWEVER, it has been in the single digits and low teens, add in icy roads and I'm NOT running on ice, nor am I equipped or willing to buy what it would take. This will be short lived. What does this mean...I had to venture inside a gym. Except for swimming, I HATE A gym and everything involved in going to that little germ factory. I suppose I just hate being inside at almost any cost. Saturday afternoon - 8 mile run on my schedule - who says increase distance by 10%? I just increased it my 100%, big whoop. Anyway, stood there waiting in an unofficial line, jockey-ing for position to get on one of 12 treadmills. After 15 minutes, I get one and see the posted sign - 40 minute MAX on cardio equipment. 40 minutes? I can't do what I need in 40 minutes. (I am able to hold on for about 70 until another line develops). That 70 minutes reminded me of everything I hate about being inside. I don't run with music BUT I did on this day. I just couldn't bear listening to all the huffing, puffing, farting and shoe tread on the belt. GAWD! One look around and you could just see all the New Years Resolutioners - hell, I don't belong there either but it's always comical in January...

Ms. Lawnmower Running shoes - a slim girl with running shoes that are dry rotted and caked with grass and poop from mowing the lawn. She has decided to get in shape for the new year. Her shape was just fine, you wouldn't blink twice.

Mr. Race T-Shirt - The guy who wears his last race t-shirt that is over two years old and jumps on a treadmill trying to scream - I belong here, I belong here, see my race t-shirt, I ran a half marathon once.

Mr. Big - This guy just gets a prize for getting out and getting moving. It wasn't pretty but I truly hope he sticks with it. His size may kill him if he's not careful.

Mr. Ass - OK, is there anything weirder than a guy with a big ass? A big ass is reserved for women, we own that body part, guys get a gut, period. Well, you will see the big ass guy on occasion and it's just odd to me. Even better, Mr. Ass liked to trot on a treadmill and play the air drums. Oh, yes, I laughed out loud and probably snorted. He couldn't hear me, he was jammin.

Mrs. I don't want to be here, I hate this place - That's me! I DON'T belong and probably am taking a treadmill from a regular client. They're looking at me thinking the same thing - daYum New Year's Resolution bitch is on my treadmill. I haven't see her here before and she decides to come on a Saturday afternoon. Well, all true. Thankfully, I won't be back unless absolutely necessary ... ice or weather in the teens.

The Blind Side - Magnus Update

Our boy is healing really well and adjusting to his blind side. We're working on calling him from left to see how he handles the blind side. He's doing just fine...except for the cone. He HATES the cone of shame. He has shattered and torn at least two and this one is under repair with pieces missing from it. Bull in a china shop...

This is his blind side, his eye-less side. He's not winking at ya!

This is both of us winking at ya, though...

Back on the wagon...

2010-01-07T05:32:00.000-06:00

Yes, training started this week and it's quickly kicking my sorry ass. Let's see how this all went down...

Tuesday - bike trainer for ~20 miles, I hope, I guess, it better be. I was in one of my easiest freakin gears and had to WORK at it. Stoopid new trainer. Maybe I locked it down too tightly, I'm sure that's it. I'm going to loosen it up next time. Lift and abs, my fav. BARF.

Wednesday - swim and run. Um, that water felt like sand and I could hardly hold my 'regular' interval WITH FINS ON. Good gawd, seriously, swimming in sand. NEXT! It's cold here so I changed and got on the suckmill for a short three miler. I AM a total jackass and have no clue how to work that POS. At least, I have no clue how to change the display. I'm working harderish, plodding along, and the distance was just wrong based on my pace and time. I'm looking at the thing, looking at my pace, doing the math and thinking, this is NOT right. I just stopped at some point in time and when I shut the daYum thing down, it tells me I went .25 miles LONGER THAN I NEEDED. OK, maybe not a huge deal but I haven't worked out like this in ages and it's killing me. I am ONLY doing what is necessary and not an ounce more for crying out loud.

Thursday - bike and run...for the love of Pete...nothing like going from NO workouts a day to two a days. Ah, this is livin kids.

BESIDES all of that, here's some fun low lights that you might enjoy...

Doc says that I have post-pneumonia viral bronchitis inflicted by my asthma. NICEEEE. Just what everyone around me wants to hear, a lung being passed during one of my hacking fits. I am NOT saying this is why I suck right now but it certainly does not help me.

ANGIE SLIGER PHOTOGRAPHY ROCKS OUT! HERE'S ME AND MY BOY JUST LAST YEAR.

Magnus, my sweet, tenderhearted Boxer, had to have his EYE REMOVED. Yes, you heard me right. Long story short, it was like a freakin horror show, fo reals. Poor guys eye/cornea ruptured. That's gotta hurt, I don't care who you are. He was pretty pissed off when he woke up with one eye. Needless to say, sleepless nites and lots of drugs...for everyone! Yes, I AM getting him a pirate costume, never fear.

Poor guy has food all over his nose because we have to fee him by hand - his cone/lampshade is HUGE and he can't get to his bowl.

Oh, and my Dad stopped in (the nicest man in America) to see our poor boy and I told him how hard my workouts were. He just said - it's because you're out of shape, duh.

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2010-01-06T06:07:00.000-06:00

Do you care, really?

2010-01-04T04:29:00.000-06:00

I don't know if you really care BUT it's my blog and I'll do what I want! I'm thrilled that 2009 is over. It was too much of a roller coaster for me. I just like things 'even' and mostly boring, perfectly happy with that. I guess I haven't really closed out 2009 yet. To me, Sunday is the last day of 2009 since Monday starts my training plan in earnest...and I go back to work.

12 Challenges for 2009
If you recall, I was going to do 12 different things for a week or so to see what would 'stick.' I did not finish them all. I never went alcohol free for a week, oops. I know where my priorities are and that was just a dumb idea. C'mon, what else are you going to have with spaghetti or steak!? Walk the dogs every day...didn't happen. Does it count that I lost my old girl:(? She couldn't walk, no way. Maybe at the start of 2009 but certainly not as the year went on. I didn't learn three survival skills but I did watch Man vs. Wild when I was sick, that totally counts. I did NOT run a 1:45 half marathon...I didn't run any half marathon last year, actually. Meh, running is overrated. I only like to run after swimming and cycling anyway.

So there it is. I did PR at the half iron distance and took home a prize. Honestly, that was the highlight. Most everything else was a lowlight in 2009. I don't have any resolutions that I'm going to make because the #1 is going to be just to finish Triple T in one piece. Honestly, I'm not 'just a finish' kind of girl but I am this time. I don't know what to expect or how I'm going to feel. Training is going to be interesting fo sho...I just got my training schedule. There's about six weeks in there where there are 13 workouts a week. Um, yeah, I know there's only seven days in a week PLUS this little thing called work (to date 10 wo's/week has been my upper limit). Holy crap. It scares me, truly.

Oh, I know, I DO have one resolution...to wear the stooopid race issued Triple T singlet with pride and not have my soft gooey center oozing out the bottom. NO one wants to see that. I have a question, though - how ripe is that singlet going to be? I mean, four races, three days and one top? I don't care how many times you rinse it in the hotel sink, that's gonna wreak!

A few pictures to close out 2009....

Me and Angie after our Tuesday nite ride. We like us some Five Guys for recovery.

This is a lovely picture taken at the end of the 5K swim in Miami, gross.

Super Star Relay Team for Mach Tenn - Ryan's first as a relay, hopefully not his last!

Me and my girl, Kasha, in what turned out to be her last swim evah. She was happy.

My first attempt at trail running Crested Butte, CO. I LOVED it.

Good times, good friends in CB - I DO love that place.

Woot, Missy and Carolina John before the B2B start.
Ryan Ironman Barnett and me collecting our hardware and???

And to hubs for making everything fun....

Happy New Year!

2009-12-31T10:14:00.000-06:00

Kind of a roller coaster year and I'm happy it's over. Looking forward to 2010 and all the promise a new decade will bring. All my best to you and yours.

Do you love my latest Christmas gift? This door mat might be the best Christmas gift this year...

Did You Miss ME??? Lifethings kinda post...

2009-12-29T18:38:00.004-06:00

Suffice it to say, I was not 'away' by choice. Once again, after taking Hot Yoga, I got sick. As you may recall, Hot Yoga was a success...until I got sick a day later with an upper respiratory infection some weeks ago. THEN, I decided to go back...even after a Nurse friend of mine said - "that's got to be like some kind of germ pool in there. Do you know what kind of bacteria can grow at 108 degrees?" I did not heed this warning and went back. A few days later, out for the count. On my back, on my sofa, coughing what appeared to be pieces of my lungs. I'm bummed because I was really liking the Hot Yoga, nothing like getting a serious sweat on. Apparently, me and my asthma can not take that kind of heat and humidity. They said they would call if it was pneumonia. There was a 'very little something' on the Xray. They haven't called, guess I should call them. Oh, yeah, I was at the walk-in clinic on a Sunday. What kind of decrepit people wait until Sunday morning to go to the doctor? ME, of course. There were snotty kids, broken fingers and some guy who was suffering from some stomach ailment for over 10 days. Really, jerk off, you wait until Sunday morning and you've been nauseous for 10 days? Unbelievable. Once again, I have seen every terrible show on television. I know what every Housewife in every county is doing thanks to Bravo and have learned a ton about the prison system in Georgia thanks to NatGeo channel.

Magnus and Me - living it up on the sofa. Yep, we just laid there for days on end. Him with his eye, me with my...snot and a cough that could choke ya. We DID make it through Christmas in one piece and then just hit rock bottom after that.

So my four week (post B2B) hiatus has turned into almost an eight week hiatus with very little swimming, running and ONE bike ride in between. My legs are feeling twitchy from atrophy and I don't sleep worth a crap. Guess that means it's time to start training. In fact, coach gave me plan for Triple T today, um, yeah, it was nice knowing all y'all but I'm going to be very busy VERY soon. I know I saw some peak weeks with 4 runs, 4 rides, 3 swims, 2 strength. WTF? There's talk of Dave Scott bricks and the Tabata Protocol and I haven't seen the road in days, weeks, even. Oh well, it all comes back, right? Bless it, the sickest winter that I can remember.

Happy New Year - 2010 is going to be great. I can feel it.

Merry Christmas and all that Crap...

2009-12-25T08:49:00.004-06:00

Fast, in bullets...

We celebrated Festivus with beers and the traditional Festivus dinner that included the Pepperidge Farm cake with M&Ms.
I got a Festivus present from hubs that rocks out.
Christmas Eve morning we were hung over from Festivus and I had LOTS of cooking to do. Oops, no wonder I screwed up the potatoes.
Magnus has kept me up for two nites in a row. Ulcerated eye...yes, again, other eye. So painful. We OWN a wing of the Veterinary Ophthalmology office here in town. This is his alternative to the lampshade! Looks like a hemorrhoid pillow on his neck. Poor guy, his left eye is killing him. I won't tell you what they did because it will make YOU wince.
Yes, you heard me, Veterinary Ophthalmology.
So far, Santa brought me all NON-sporting gifts for the first time in ages - a dress watch, not an HRM, a jacket, not for riding or running, gloves for cold weather, not for wiping snot from my drippy nose and more to come. Wow, this is pretty fun.

Hope you're having a GREAT Christmas! Look for me on TV tonite, we'll be at the Titans vs. Chargers game. Nothing says Christmas like football...OK, maybe not. I don't want to go to hell, after all.

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2009-12-23T05:28:00.000-06:00

2010 Schedule Preview

2009-12-21T05:17:00.005-06:00

Read it and weep...I know I did. This, apparently, is the year of the hills for me. Thankfully, they're not hard to find around here. I have lots of work to do.

Season Opener - Tom King Half Marathon - March 13, Nashville. I would like to say that this will be my PR attempt for the year at a 1:45. We will have to see. Typically, this is the day of the perfect storm in Tennessee OR I am 'spring' sick with allergies.

Powerman Duathlon - estimated - April 18. This date is not posted yet but it's 8K run - 53K bike - 8K run in Birmingham, AL.

3 State 3 Mountain - May 1, Chattanooga. It is what it says and it makes me want to cry....it is a 100 mile bike ride that crosses three mountains. You know you want a ride a mountain called Suck Creek. Waaaahaaaaa!

REV3 Knoxville - May 8, Oly or Half IM, not sure yet. This is a week after 3S3M so it will depend upon if I am alive or not.

Triple T Ohio - May 21-23 - This might be my dumbest idea ever. Besides four races in three days, I have to wear the race issued singlet. GAWD!

End of May - buy Missy a puppy - y'all know I'm a sucker for a Boxer. This will keep me busy and allow me to enjoy the 'end' of my 2010 season. Told ya I wouldn't be so stupid this year. Late season races can suck it!
So there it is, for now. Training will start in earnest Jan. 4, 2010...and so will my boycott of all things bad for me. I have a freakin race singlet to get into!

What is scarier?

2009-12-17T06:10:00.001-06:00

What is more terrifying - my upcoming race schedule for 2010 (that was assembled by coach and partner in crime, to be posted shortly) or the fact that I have to wear a race issued singlet for Triple T in May? I'm actually thinking the singlet is more terrifying. I am totally comfortable with all body parts EXCEPT for my belly. No, no, I know, it's not gigantic or anything it's just, well, softer than it should be to pull off a singlet. See, a singlet is made for normal sized people. They do not come in talls and if you order larger, it assumes that you have huge jugs...that I don't have. I have to order a medium, or so, and then it just cuts me right above my gut. Perfect way to accentuate my soft gooey center. Of course, when I flip through pictures of years past, everyone is looking pretty shredded and doesn't seem to look like a busted biscuit.

I suppose the only way to over come this fault of mine, is to eat salmon and spinach for the next six months. Certainly, this will have to wait until AFTER Christmas and New Years fo sho. I'm not a terrible eater but I do think that a Five Guys Burger and Fries is one of the most perfect recovery foods after a hard ride and that cheese is its own food group. If there is any chance that I look half as good as those Triple T peoples in that itty bitty singlet, I'll need to lean up. Now I know why I only race in one piece bathing suits or race kits...it holds my junk together so nicely.

This whole prospect of having to wear their race singlet is terrifying enough to make me do something about it....I think.

P.S. I just noticed that the stellar guy from yesterday's post has displayed his ROCK BAND and GUITAR HERO guitars. Not even the real deal. So guns and Rock Band, for your listening pleasure.

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2009-12-16T04:26:00.000-06:00

First run back...

2009-12-14T06:02:00.000-06:00

I have become VERY comfortable in blowing off every workout in the recent past in favor of ANYTHING. Seriously, anything could come up and that swim or run would just fall on by the way side. SUNDAY was the time to begin anew, I thought a baby sized run would be the perfect way to get back on the wagon.

My newest plan, that benefits everyone, warm up walk with Magnus, just a little 20 minutes of walking fast, return dawg to the house, drop off a jacket and head out to run. I was going to be smart and leave my watch at home but noooo, I needed to KNOW how bad I was going to suck. I had been running a cool nine miles/week prior to the flu bug but at least it was at a decent pace. This time, not so much BUT that was my plan. I wanted to enjoy it too. I succeeded on all accounts - a slow but happy little run. It will all come together soon enough, just need to keep on keepin on. Who knew that a week off could mean that all my junk hurt so badly. Seriously, a sore back and hamstrings?!

In random ass news...

I was at a local "made in China" store that carries a wide range of made in China goods from fake trees, to fake wall art, fake furniture and fake flower arrangements. Anyway, I was making my way through some fake wall art that was stacked up. These were very large wall pieces when the brace that was holding them together broke free and the stack cut loose on my ass. YES, a large stack of framed made in China wall art cut loose on my ass and knocked me to the ground in the middle of the daYum store. I was buried under fake made in China wall art. I couldn't even get out by myself - other shoppers had to come over and help me out of the fake wall art pile of shit. I wish someone was there to see it, it was pretty funny except for the bruised knee when I hit the ground under $2 wall art that they're charging $200 a piece for - oh but it's 30% off, such a deal. As to NOT to look like I was running in shame, I continued to 'shop' while rubbing my knee and pretending NOT to be embarrassed. Seriously, who get's attacked by fake wall art?!?

Falling out of love?

2009-12-11T05:29:00.003-06:00

Ever think you're falling out of love and have it scare you? Something you were so passionate about and, for the moment, could care less. It's kind of like that brief moment when you go out with your single friends, look around, and think - wow, this isn't so bad. Then you get home to your spouse and realize, BUT THIS is so much better. Wouldn't trade my life for nothin! I'm really hoping that this epiphany hits me pretty daYum soon. I have NEVER taken this much time off post season. I have NEVER gone this long with NO schedule. I have NEVER gone this long without swimming or cycling...at least in the recent past. Thing is, I'm totally OK with it.

I know that logical people much smarter than I will tell me this is natural, this is a great time to rest, take a break, recover. Fine, fine but I pretty much haven't done anything since November 7. The part that scares me is the simple fact that I'm OK with it, it's not hard. Quite frankly, I've really enjoyed not doing much of anything - a little run here, a little weight there, a Hot Yoga 'try out' and maybe another little run. Other than that, I have not seen a 5:00am swim in over a month or gotten up for any workout for that matter.

I guess I should be thankful for this time. I am really enjoying it. I just really hope that I fall back in love with triathlon and all things triathlon real soon...Triple T training starts, um, in January.

Not So Wordless Wednesday!

2009-12-09T06:44:00.000-06:00

I don't usually go MIA without notice but this flu - or whateverthehellitis - didn't give ME notice either. I was in bed from Thursday nite until Monday. It sucked. All of that right after my Hot Yoga success. It did make me a little suspicious that I picked up some funky vermin from that hot and humid room. I paid for a week and got to go once, another pisser! Ah, well, nothing like TWO months off from training to really get rejuvenated, sheesh. This was a real ass kicker. Still not up to par yet and probably won't workout or do anything that resembles working out until this weekend.

The only thing I have for you is a review of all the television I watched and the wide variety of soups I ate. I feel like granny in the nursing home, I swear. "You know, Mildred, that chicken soup tasted like real chickens and had big ole' noodles in it. I could gum that real good like." Yep, crackers, soup and Sprite, the story of my life. That AND...

Jersey Shore - I don't ever need to see this again. Guido's and Guidettes, who knew?
The Real Housewives of New Jersey...and all things Jersey
Rupaul's Drag Race - This show rocks and I WILL watch it again.
Nip/Tuck - How did I not know about this show before and how can they get away with all 'that' on regular cable?
For the Love of Ray Jay - Trashy women in competition for something, don't need to see again.
Intervention - Really, I only want the happy endings.
Hoarders - Holy CRAP, very sad, will never watch again. How many times can you watch a persons house be condemned because they collect crap...literally, a woman was dying in her own crap. She did not have water on in the house for over two years. This must be a whole lot more common than you can imagine if there's a whole series of shows about it. I feel for their poor families.
The Biggest Loser - amazing, always amazing at the finale each year. I was pulling for Rudy but Danny was looking great. I'm just glad that crazy eyes Tracey didn't win. She was creeping me out!

And Tiger a sex addict. Is that the new term for any man that just likes lots of sex, he's an addict? Wouldn't that cover most of the male population? I'm so confused. If you put a label on it, that absolves him from all wrong doing or something? Oh, he's an addict, we must fix him. He's a whore, he cheated on his wife....and a dumbass because his wife is uber hot.

Bikram Yoga Success!

2009-12-03T05:18:00.000-06:00

I REALLY thought I was going to a) hate it b) die of heat exhaustion c) implode. I am very proud to say that none of those things happened. I haven't been 'the new guy' in AGES, anywhere, at anything, more like a fixture, at this point. It was with my NEW yoga mat ($12.95, TJ Maxx) and NEW yoga pants (that can suck it, no wonder they were at TJ Maxx for $12) that I showed up to class 30 minutes before the start to fill out the necessary paper work and absolve them of any responsibility. Sandra, the owner, could not have been nicer and nobody actually looked at me to point and laugh. We're starting out right here. She tells us the room is 105 and 40% humidity and that my main goal (as a first timer) is to just stay in the room. This is kinda like Tennessee in the summer time. WHAT the hell kind of torture is this???

Here's how it went down - Strip down to the bare minimum clothing before entering the room. Seriously, these people had on mini black shorts and a bra top. Not me, my friend. I must cover my soft gooey center, I don't care HOW hot it is. Issue #1, my new, fancy brown yoga pants that I bought special for this moment. I now know why everyone was wearing BLACK bottoms in that class. I had a nice ring around my junk - a nice outline of EVERYTHING. Issue #2, the reason these dumb ass pants were at TJ Maxx (by Reebok) was that they give you a RAGING camel toe. Yes, my friends, you could almost see my fallopian tubes, I swear. Issue #3, I will be wearing said pants to every class for the next week because I don't have anything else. Great, joy, it's a good look.

Blah, blah, we went through all the poses. I did yoga a gagillion years ago. I don't know the pose names but I could follow as we went along. I did not wear a watch on purpose but at one point, I just HAD to know what time it was because I wasn't sure I was going to make it without running outside into the cold air for some relief. The instructor totally busted me for grabbing Angie's arm to look at her watch. Crap 20 more minutes. I can do this.

With every lean and every movement, pools of sweat would just run down my face and nose if we were inverted. AND I do mean just pools of it. You could totally ring my clothes out at the end and produce, gross but it really felt like a bike ride in the middle of a hot Tennessee summer...my Gatorade tasted like it too. Mmmm, warm Gatorade in a room full of sweaty, stinky people.

I did not fart, I did not laugh, not even giggle. I did cuss a fair amount, shocker, I know. I was actually surprised by all of this. I was concentrating so daYum hard on NOT falling over and working on my balance that any little giggle would have totally thrown me off. I dropped 3lbs of water weight from that class - I'm sure immediately put back on when I slammed a gallon of water when I got home but I'm going with the 3lbs. I felt really 'clean' and limber afterwards. I am sore, a little, but I kinda can't wait to go back. It's such a departure from anything that I'm used to, maybe that's it, not sure. This just may have to be something that I work on now and then incorporate, to a lesser degree, when it is ON-season.

So, there it is, I know you were hoping for the fact that I farted and ran out of the 105 degree room in embarrassment covering my face in shame or that Angie and I were thrown out for giggling at someone else's farts but it just didn't happen, sorry.

In Christmas News....

When did it become a holiday tree? Do you know another group of people that puts up a tree? No, it's a Christmas Tree, so what?

I don't mind a Menorah too. The more the merrier, I say. I don't care who you pray to or how you pray, just pray for me for crying out loud! God, Jesus, whatever, either way, makes me no never mind.

Is Merry Christmas really that offensive?

I don't think that a Jewish person would really mind (let me know here if it's offensive, I really would like to know). If they wished me a Happy Hanukkah, I wouldn't be mad, I'd just say, Happy Hanukkah back.

I suppose it's usually the atheists are the one's that get bent over the whole holiday season, Christmas or Hanukkah.

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2009-12-02T07:32:00.004-06:00

Hot Yoga!

2009-12-01T04:52:00.001-06:00

I'm doing it! Ever have those list of things you're 'going to do' during the off season but never do? I am FOREVER guilty of just swimming, cycling and running, period. I always SAY - yoga, weights, core, blah, blah, blah and I never DO. I am biting the bullet and doing something I'm totally uncomfortable with...yoga...hooootttt yoga.

Remember the first time you showed up at Masters Swim? If you're like me, you didn't even know what 'starting on the top' meant. I had no clue about pool etiquette and thought that I just wanted to survive. I was terrified that I would be the slowest, crappiest swimmer with all the wrong gear. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into but I just showed up and been there since 2006 or so. Fast forward to 2009, I feel like I could at least show up for most group rides, group runs or swims and have someone to hang with, it is where I am most comfortable.

I have decided it's now or NEVER. I am going to hot yoga (with the help of a friend) on Wednesday. I know there's all this zen crap and quiet time biz...Angie and I have NEVER been in a room or car together and NOT talked the entire time. We drove nine hours to Florida and never turned on the music, if that's any indication. I'm afraid that we will be asked to leave when I bust out laughing or make Angie laugh. This is going to be like two kids in church, I swear...without her, I'm not so sure I would go, though. So there it is, stay tuned for some total hilarity. I have no doubt that this is good for me, let's just see if I'm good for hot yoga. Oh, and fart noises KILL me and throw me into a ball of laughter. I'm in trouble, I know.

Post Thanksgiving ramblings...

It IS possible to gain 5lbs in a weekend.
Is it eating and drinking everything in site that made me break out? I can't even say it was the pool, always my excuse. I'm 37, really, zits???
I really could have used just one more day.
I think sleeping in makes me more tired - I refused to get out of bed before 7:30-8:00am just because.
I'm glad I didn't go shopping on Black Friday.
Do you think hot yoga will help me sweat out the 5lbs I just consumed?
I'm so sick of turkey that I don't want another piece of poultry for a while.
When is the next holiday...I'm ready for more days off!

HOT YOGA....and it was MY idea. CRAP! AND, I'm going to make an attempt to go at LEAST three days in a weeks time. They say (whoever THEY is) it's best if you can hammer it out even if you feel crappy.

Weekend in Review

2009-11-30T05:50:00.000-06:00

GAWD, it seems like forevah so here it goes...

Wednesday - got in a baby sized run, that wasn't embarrassingly slow, and lots of Thanksgiving cooking, add in some Biggest Loser on the DVR and it was a party at my house. I'm just in awe of those peoples, I swear, totally transformed. Alan is a stud. He will be totally shredded when he comes back to the finale.

Thursday - Thanksgiving at my house always starts with a bike ride. It was about 45 degrees, I think, so not warm. It's just a 22 mile route from the house, just us, friends and road bikes. OH and NO computers allowed to monitor speed or average speed. I think it was at the half way point (a church) that I started to pray for my salvation from this bike ride. I seriously considered calling for a ride home. For the love of Pete, it was harrrrd. You could have told me a pack of dogs was chasing me and it wouldn't have mattered. Elated to get home and start on some pancakes, bacon and breakfast liquor - pick your poison: Bloody Mary, Kahlua and Coffee, Screwdriver, whatever but you best start drinking NOW. AND WE DID! It's always fun.

On with some Thanksgiving food that was a feast to feed at LEAST 12 - there's only five of us. I'm still eating turkey, dressing, green beans, sweet potatoes...you get the idea. Post dinner tradition is YAHTZEE. I couldn't buy a Yahtzee, blasted. And then it was downhill from there, I felt like hell on a stick.

This is our gangster grill set up. We grill the turkey each year but we couldn't regulate the temp because of the wind. Soooo, block the wind and hope you don't set the house on fir-ah.

Friday morning, woke up, sore throat and loads of gunk, the heavy thick kind. I started jamming Zicam up my nose, after my saline rinse, some Cold Eze tabs and sleep, lots of sleep. I think I saw EVERY episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Wow, really, wow - and I LOVE trash tv.

Saturday morning, cleared my throat and felt like a million bucks compared to Friday. Woohoo, I beat this thing. Always satisfying. Got to see some friends, watch some college football and proceed to fall asleep by 9pm because I know how to party.

Sunday - I was really going to extend my run and did 8K. Yes, this is funny for many reasons. I ended it at 8K for all my Canadian friends. See, I'm not that OCD, it didn't have to be 5 miles straight up! Since B2B, I've probably run six times total for a grand monthly mileage of 24 miles. I told hubs I was going to run for 5ish miles and he said - wooha, wooha, slow down, Missy, why so far, why so fast?! (I've been really milking coaches instructions for time to chill post B2B and hubs has gotten used to having me around more.) Thanksgiving food, that's why! It was a great little run with all the good hills mixed in for good measure. Got to get my Triple T glutes and hammies ready for all 'dem 'der hills.

Throw in a killer Titans win and that's a wrap. This week MAY find me venturing into the land of hot yoga. I'm actually terrified as one of my strongest friends said it was the hardest thing she's ever done. Could be perfect.

My pants are tighter and I'm afraid to look at a scale right now. I will get back on the wagon just as soon as all those sweet potatoes are gone...promise!

Post Thanksgiving funk

2009-11-28T08:55:00.002-06:00

Taking a few days hiatus from bloggyland. Some how, picked up a funky head cold, filled with gunk, phlegm and all around good times. Probably spent 14 hours sleeping yesterday. When I wasn't sleeping, I was watching bad tv. I can tell you everything that happened on the Real Housewives of New Jersey. I think I caught the whole season yesterday. Wow, that's about all there is to say.

Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T07:40:00.005-06:00

Have a great Thanksgiving ... wherever you are! Too much to be thankful for to list, just know that whatever you have 'going on,' someone else has it worse. Be thankful!

Off for the REQUIRED Thanksgiving bike ride in a little while to freeze our giblets off, then pancakes, bacon, Bloody Mary's to kick off the day just right.

Bring on the food. My pants are getting tighter by the day!

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2009-11-25T05:17:00.005-06:00

300th Post - Whaaaat?

2009-11-24T04:08:00.001-06:00

300 Things about ... ME, who else would they be about ...

I didn't start running until I realized that I was going to hit double digits in my clothes. It was a deal breaker for me.
I've only run three marathons - one was attached to a 2.4 mile swim and a 26.2 mile bike.
I don't really like to run, it's just the easiest thing to do when I'm short on time.
I've never played a sport or been on a team of any kind. I suck at team sports.
I still don't think of myself as an athlete and I have NO idea why. Maybe because all of this started in my late 20's, post college? Who knows...
I hate clicking noises.
People that cut their nails at work disgust me. Keep your DNA to yourself.
I get totally irritated with people who use Facebook and Rolling Stone as their source of news...for which they are an 'expert' on (fill in the blank here, usually medical or politics).
I think ANYTHING can be funny. It's all in the context. HellO Family Guy!
I do not tolerate a liar.
You screw me over once, I'm done with you.
I'm totally terrified about doing Triple T in May, totally starting to freak out. What have I done?
I AM happy that I am doing Triple T with Tilghman because she makes me laugh and we're gonna need it.
I find serious people BORING. I mean, a time and place, but c'mon.
I like dogs, Boxers, specifically. Love the smooshed in face.
I love to run in a one piece speedo. It freaks out the neighbors.
I am an only child - it explains a lot.
My mom was my best friend. Holy hell, hands down the funniest person I've ever known. She didn't care about a thing or what you thought. Gee, sounds familiar. Glad that rubbed off.
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because it does not involve gifts. We eat, we drink, we watch football and play Yahtzee. It totally rocks.
Ryan and I double over in laughter at LEAST once a day. Our house is pretty crazy....he still says he's funnier.
I went to an all girls Catholic High School. Retrospect - it was probably one of the best experiences of my life.
I might have the smallest family on the planet.
I have not been to a concert or show in AGES because big crowds + drunk people + smoke wear my ass out.
I don't run or ride with music because I think it's dangerous. How else can I see Chester the Molester in his white van chasing me?
I think if I can do this crap, anyone can. Total non-athletic, non-athlete type and I can do it. Ironwill(power) though.
I get livid when I see a 400lb woman at Walmart, pull up and park in handicapped parking while her son (200lbs @ 10yo) goes to get her the motorized scooter because she has bad knees. No SHIT you have bad knees. THEN, you get a load of their cart, Mountain Dew and any other processed food you might imagine.
...yeah, you didn't really think that I was going to list 300 things about myself, did you? I'm really not THAT exciting

Triple T and Me

2009-11-22T08:25:00.000-06:00

I am officially official, I have paid up and signed up for Triple T. This will have to suffice as my big endurance race for the year. As many of you know, I was planning to do the 24 Tri out in Colorado in September. It is proving to be a little cost prohibitive at this point. I really would need another few folks to split an RV with (I'm NOT looking for volunteers either) AND it happens to be the same weekend as Age Group Nationals...where all my peoples will (hope) be. SO, the American Triple T will have to take it's place. If you haven't checked it out, here's the format:

Race #1: Prologue

Friday, May 21st, 2010 at 5:00 P.M.

SWIM: The 250 meter swim is a counter clockwise loop course in Turkey Creek Lake with participants starting in a time trial start every 3-5 seconds. Swim start is a dry land running start. Wetsuits allowed.

BIKE: The 5 mile bike course is a challenging loop course to the top of the resort and back. Bring your climbing gears.

RUN: The 1 mile run course is an out and back course on Lamp Black Run trail.

RACE RULES: All individual times count towards the team time. Any individual (solo and team) finishing in the top five overall will receive a 30 second bonus time. NOTE: Drafting is not allowed.

Race #2: Individual Time Trial

Saturday, May 22nd, 2010 7:30 A.M.

SWIM: The 1500 meter swim is a counter clockwise loop course in Turkey Creek Lake with participants starting in a time trial start every 3-5 seconds. Swim start is a dry land running start. Wetsuits allowed.

BIKE: The 24.8 mile bike course is a challenging loop course on park fire roads within the park and state routes outside the park. Bring your climbing gears.

RUN:The 6.55 mile run course is an out and back course on Lamp Black Run trail.

RACE RULES: All individual times count towards the team time. Any individual (solo and team) finishing in the top five overall will receive a 30 second bonus time. NOTE: Drafting is not allowed.

Race #3: Team Triathlon

Saturday, May 22nd, 2010 3:00 P.M.

BIKE: The 24.8 mile bike course is a challenging out and back course on the infamous route 125. Bring your climbing gears or pay!

SWIM: The 1500 meter swim is a counter clockwise loop course in Turkey Creek Lake with participants starting after the completion of the bike. Swim start is a running start from the transition area. Wetsuits allowed.

RUN: The 6.55 mile run course is an and back course on park fire on Lamp Black Run trail. This is a tough course. Same as morning run course.

RACE RULES: All teams must start and finish together. This unique triathlon format starts on the bike in a time trial start going every 10 seconds followed by a 1500 meter swim, then finishes with a 6.2 mile run. Drafting is allowed ONLY among each team. NO drafting among SOLO's. Start order for teams is determined by the highest ranking team member.

Race #4: Team Time Trial

Sunday, May 23rd, 2010 at 7:00 A.M.

SWIM: The 1.2 mile swim is a counter clockwise 2 lap course in Turkey Creek Lake. Swim start is a dry land running start. Wetsuits allowed.

BIKE: The 55.5 mile 2 lap bike course is a VERY challenging loop course on paved fire roads within the park. Bring your climbing gears. This course is awesome - you won’t forget it!

RUN: The 13.1 mile run course is a double out and back course on Lamp Black Run trail. This is same course you’ve run on all weekend. You love it or hate it by now!

RACE RULES: All teams must start and finish together.

What the hell was I thinking? I am signed up as a team. My team mate is the perfect pacer. She thinks like I do about something like this - What pace can I hold all weekend long? How can I not shoot my wad on the super sprint Friday nite and just plug and chug all weekend? I imagine this will be an experience in perseverance like I've never had before. AND I can't even wrap my brain around how shitty I'm going to feel on Saturday nite knowing there is a half ironman the next day. Can you even imagine the bitching and cussing that is going to be going on?! I hope they don't disqualify us for language infractions. I suppose now would be a good time to learn how to ride a hill, don't you think? At least ride a hill well. I also heard something about doing two bricks in a day, an a.m. and p.m. brick. Boy, sounds like a blast.

Well, there will be tons of hilarity on this training ride, I can guarantee that. As far as what else 2010 will bring, I just don't know yet. I may have to get through this one first and then just play it by ear. Anyone know how I can pack on ~10lbs of lean mass by May so I can qualify as an Athena? Yeah, it's probably a dumb idea but I DO love to eat...but hate to lift a weight.

Unpaid, unsolicited reviews!

2009-11-19T04:34:00.000-06:00

As I finally made my way back to some workin' out over the last week, I realized that every piece of winter running wear is from 1996. Yes, I can look back at old race photos and still see the stanky ass tights that still hang in my closet. Yes, you can probably see my arse through them but I wear a jacket or something long enough to cover OR just don't care because I'm too cheap. It was TIME...about 10 years ago but I ventured out into the world of new, winter running gear. I won't bore you with the stuff I haven't tested or worn yet BUT there's a few items worth mentioning. My super special run test took place in 47 degree weather and lasted less than 3.5 miles so take this for what it's worth. Longer runs will tell the truth. However, CW-X is a brand that I'm not remotely familiar with. All my old shiz is Hind. Anyway, the CW-X Xtra Support Bra - two thumbs up if you're looking for a bra that totally holds you in without smooshing like a uniboob. Mine are small so most things work just fine. I hear this one is great for girls with big girls and want to look like a girl. So there. It is a B- on getting the thing on an off. I have monkey long arms so it's a non-issue for me. I can see where some chickies would be stuck in it for days. Worth the money for big boobs. I never said it was pretty...

To go from no tights or tights I've had as long as I've been running, to an almost $100 pair of tights almost made me smack Dan (owner of my local tri shop - Endurance Sports and Rec) right in the middle of the store. I was given a kick ass gift certificate to my local tri store for my birfday - thanks to my awesome in-laws! Fine, he says, try these, you'll love them. First of all, they look ridiculous but I'm totally down with anything that works. Kind of like compression socks, sorry, people you look like a moron, it's not a badge of honor that you have cankles, I get it (believe me, I have two pair and I love them and will wear them in public, still looks dumb and yes, I have the cute pink ones too...like the rest of the world, still dumb but very functional). So, I give these hideous tights a try - the CW-X Stabilyx Tights. I felt a little like a robot and that all my joints were on hinges that just snapped back into place. I had NO idea that my old tights had, um, zero elasticity any longer. Apparently, my junk was jiggling everywhere and no one chose to tell me. These new babies sucked my gut in like a girdle and did a nice lift and separate on the arse. It was nice to run and be 'secure.' Again, I only ran three measly miles but I love them. I will have to update and let you know if they're worth almost $100, as of right now, yes. I DO love a girdle and I felt so aero in those pants. Right now A- because THEY'RE TOO SHORT. Make something long people, c'mon. Magnus must protect me always.

As always, I threw in a pair of Swiftwick socks because you can't have enough. These are, by far, the BEST socks on the planet and guess what - made in the USA, made in TN, as a matter of fact. What are the chances? They really do rock out. Ask Keith, I sent him a pair earlier this year.

Well, that's my officially, unofficial review of stuff that I just bought. I got a Mizuno shirt that's supposed to keep you super warm by turning your sweat into some kind of super hot steam room, or something like that. NO they didn't give me this stuff, I had to PAY for it myself.

Side note - anyone have a genius name for our two WOman team for Triple T? I really don't want to go with Slim and Stumpy (her name for this dynamic duo). Need something better for this cussing pair of gurlz.

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2009-11-18T04:29:00.000-06:00

Football Follies

2009-11-16T06:48:00.005-06:00

She was an unknown person. Our section is filled with season ticket holders, we know everyone around us. We didn't know them. Her fingers were the size and shape of sausage links and she couldn't fit into the seat without pouring over the edges. She seemed to be able to get up and down about ten times to get fries, cokes, nachos and other assorted football 'treats' .... but she couldn't seem to stand up to honor the disabled veterans group that was there in honor of Veterans Day (I think all NFL games had various programs to honor Veterans yesterday). I wanted to flick her in the back of her fat head and tell her stand her ass up and clap. Nope, too deep into nachos and fries, I guess. Yep, I'm still livid that she and her equally large husband couldn't seem to stand up either. Hell, he couldn't even get up to get his own nachos, she had to get them for him. THEN, another morbidly obese woman 'falls out' at the game and they have to call medical. I am 90% sure it took the entire medical staff to get her onto a make shift board, gurney, wheel chair looking thing. Problem - she didn't fit on it, back fat was pouring out the back of it as six men tried to haul her up the steps to get her medical care. Yep, the whole thing, all of it, a total embarrassment. I guess it's not a world that I live in. In fact, I only wanted to eat salmon and spinach after watching both of them and their football follies on Sunday. I was so disturbed and equally disgusted. I really did want to smack her on the back of her head - c'mon lady, injured Vets and you're too into your nachos to stand up? I found it revolting on so many levels. Yeah, I struggle with - if I lose 5-10lbs it'll make me faster - syndrome. Problem is, I like to eat and drink the beer that goes with it so I live with my 5lbs. For the love of Pete people, have some self respect.

In workout news...

Yep, haven't done a thing since Beach2Battleship. Today is the day we get back on the wagon. You have NO idea how easily I could be a couch potato. Football or any good marathon on Bravo - I'm in for the duration! It's time to get moving. I don't want to end up like the nacho queen.

Tainted Award!

2009-11-13T05:00:00.001-06:00

You said Taint....ANYWAY...

For whatever reason, I decided to pull up the race results online. I just need to put it out there that I am NOT #1 35-39AG but #2. I was called #1 and handed the #1 plaque at the awards ceremony but I'm certain that the girl that won would like it. It's tainted, don't want it, won't hang it, only going to sit in the back of the closet as the award I almost got. I did send a message to the B2B peoples to see a) what happened b) do they want it back and c) send me 2nd place! I know I shouldn't be bummed, 2nd is still more than anything I have ever received. I am just going with - a PR by 12 minutes and I'm happy about that. Guess that's what I'll go with now. I know, wha, wha, wha, cry me a river but it IS disappointing. Heck, even more than me should be the girl that got 3rd but is really 4th and is now out of hardware for AG Awards. I would be pissssssed off.

So, YES, people, I know now. I'm not happy about it. Why didn't anyone tell me? Seriously, I look like a moron. I'm not afraid of being a moron but please don't relegate me to douchebag. Race report still stands just take #1 out and replace with #2. So there! It doesn't matter, I didn't have five more minutes in me, it was still the best I had. The race director indicated there WAS a timing/scoring issue in one age group...yep, mine.

In other news...I have done, nothing since the race other than eat and drink. It's been nice. I know I'll get bored soon but it's nice to NOT be scheduled for a little while. Copius amounts of liquor, beer, wine and birthday cake. Kinda like this guy.

Yes, peoples, I am 37 - it was Wednesday. As I do every year, here are my 37 things I learned in 37 years...

These are listed in no particular order....

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can’t pick your friends nose…but YOU CAN lend them your sleeve.
Never spit while riding a bike into a headwind – nothing worse than having your training partners tell you that you have a huge loogey hanging off your shoulder or side of your face.
Play nice with others…unless they are in your same age group.
Be kind to strangers…they may be a volunteer at your next event.
Running slowly with a friend may be more beneficial than turning a PR alone.
People think I’m funny, Dogs worship me as a goddess, I will now be known as the Funny Goddess of Franklin.
Sleep is totally underrated…especially on a cold morning when it’s raining outside and you’re supposed to go for a run, ah, to stay in bed.
Ironman is one of the greatest things I have ever done.
If swimming, biking and running were the most fun things we did as kids, are we really just big kids?
Negative people suck the life out of me…I don’t hang around those people, I like the life part.
Never trust a fart on a long run, you don’t need that kind of surprise when you’re miles from home or the nearest toilet.
Always pack a pre-packaged baby wipe – they have many uses from wiping a baby to wiping yourself.
Happy Hour is not just one Hour.
I’m glad I moved to Tennessee from Michigan – you have to rake your roof in Michigan during the winter…to keep the snow from caving your roof in, yep, that one is TRUE!
Friends will come and go. Good friends are the ones that bring you drugs or soup when you are sick.
Mom was always right, you should try to pee before you leave the house, every time.
Laughter can be the best medicine but sometimes Percocet is the perfect medicine.
I don’t like getting up before 6:00am, I’ll do it but I don’t have to like it.
Peeing in a wetsuit can keep you warm on a cold morning.
A massage and a glass of wine is just the perfect way to end any day.
If I could go back to high school or college, I don’t think I would – this part is way more fun…and I can remember it, most of the time.
Loyalty is an underrated quality in people.
Never sit on an unkown toilet seat. There could be creepy crawlies under the seat.
Tell other people that your are proud of them for their accomplishments. We don’t hear that often when we’re older.
Work is work and play is play. Why can’t I get paid to play?
Fart jokes are still funny – as is the unintentional fart at the wrong time (i.e. in church on a wooden pew when everyone stops singing). HILARIOUS.
There is NO greater compliment than making someone laugh so hard that they shoot their drink out their nose. That’s the sign of a great joke or moment. I strive for this always
Always wear shoes on aggregate, it will tear your feet up – even if you are just going out to get the mail. Will I ever learn?
Say I love you to your family every nite and every time you part. It could be the last time you see them.
Fighting is for boxers and cage fighters, arguments and discussions are for families.
Never negate, demean or call your spouse a name in front of other people. It’s not nice and makes you look like an ass.
When you hear a good song in the store, you should dance, even if it’s MUSAK and even if you can’t dance. It’s fun and it’s always time for fun.
Eat dinner with the TV off once in a while. There’s not much good on anyway, especially the news.
Don’t worry about what other people think, why does it matter what they think, they’re probably strangers and you’ll never see them again. Their opinion of you has no relevance to your life and happiness.
Picking up the yard after two dogs is the worst job in the house.
Be yourself, 100% of yourself, not the edited version of yourself and surround yourself with people that like you at 100%.
Race it not pace it. Uh, duh, that's why they call it a race.

Beach2Battleship Ramblings

2009-11-12T05:38:00.001-06:00

Beach2Battleship ramblings, randomness and learnings in no particular order....

Unlike Ryan B., I had volunteers help me every step of the way (he was so fast that they weren't ready for him). They really did rock out. HellO the girl gave me her last tampooon ... for the love of Pete.

Who is Pete?

The course is NOT pancake flat.

Logistically, the course sucks ass. Two separate transition areas AND a water taxi ride to get back to the mainland. Yes, I stood in line for 1.5 hours AFTER I thought I was going to die.

This random guy was in line for the water taxi, he leans to girlfriend and is talking and pointing at me. I presume it's my Titans sweatshirt that I have on and start a conversation. Something like - yeah, I know my Titans suck it this year, what's it to ya? He said, no, no, you passed me on the bike like I was sitting still. For the first time in my life, someone whispered and pointed at me as the fast girl. Ha, yay me!

I sat between two douchebags on the water taxi discussing their bikes and how freakin fast they were - blah, blah, blah. This gear, this disc wheel, this powertap. I think one of them started to make fun of my non-aero bento box and tool bag on my bike. At which point, I asked - and how did YOU do today? Oh, well, I smoked the bike but I crumbled on the run, one says. OK, douchebag, that's the idea, you have to do ALL three sports. What are ya, new? Yes, they asked what I was holding and I flashed them first place. Eat it dumbass, talk about my bento box that way...

Just use a damn tampoooon even if you don't think it's shark week. For crying out loud.

Always use extra lube for the run. It was the best use of a minute in my life.

You know you have found your people when you can discuss the intricacies of peeing while riding a bike, fecal matter and periods. Ryan B seemed very disappointed that I didn't pee on my bike and wasn't remotely disturbed when I announced that I had started my period. "Yes, I'll have the filet." How fecal matter made it into the conversation I don't recall. It was somewhere between my steak arriving and my cheesecake, not sure which. I also birthed my water baby during dinner with two trips to the toilet that would make a horse proud. I didn't know I could hold that kind of fluid. Other dinner conversations included were - how to prevent a moose knuckle or a camel toe when wearing a uniTard, McDonald's as pre-race food (Ryan not me), the fact that there is nothing as supple as a freshly shorn scrotum (his words, not mine) and that laser isn't that bad. "Can you please pass the potatoes?" Forever a dork...
I heeded my own warnings and rules to live by ... by NOT trusting a fart. It was the second best decision of my life. I would still be in Wilmington, cleaning up if that were the case. Guts were just foul and I'll leave it at that.

I am thrilled and happy that I did this race but I would not do it again. It was just a little too much travel and logistical pain in the ass that I wouldn't head back. Don't get me wrong, thumbs up but there's lots of good races out there. I don't know that I would do the full distance here either. The crowd just doesn't get it.

Hubs got bitched at by a cop for ringing our killer cowbell for the participants. He got into an 'exchange' and had to explain - that's what you do, this is an ironman for crying out loud. These guys need to know they're not out there alone (especially the 140.6 guys).

The shirt is good - long sleeve tech shirt and a pair of B2B socks! Nice. That's the most in any swag bag I've received in the recent past.

The award is teak wood from the original decking of the USS North Carolina which is WAY cool.

My husband is thee best. See, he was actually sick the week leading into the race. I kept asking him how he was feeling and he just said fine, a little congested. Now that we're home, he said he felt like shit the whole time but that it was about the race so he didn't bring it up. It was my turn.

Why does my body stop absorbing nutrients and insist on making me look pregnant? It's not a good look. I mean look at that profile!

I'm happy and sad to look at my 2009 race schedule and realize that it's over. I have NO clue what 2010 will bring. Triple T - Ohio sounds sick enough to be fun.

I didn't know I could hurt for this long after a little old halfiron race. OUCH! My cankles are really hawt, though.

I guess I finally learned to race and not pace.

My favorite words: fucktard, asshat, douchebag and wonky...probably in that order.

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

2009-11-11T05:40:00.004-06:00

Hats off to all service men and women, past and present on this Veterans Day! Thank you for your service to our country.

Always a prankster in the bunch.