Friday, May 14, 2010

Dress Rehearsal Fo Reals Report - REV3 Knoxville

***Update - 5/14/10, 9:30CST - REV3 PEOPLES THANK YOU! YES, times (at least mine and that's what we're talking about here) have been updated. So glad it wasn't a wash and yes, I guess it does matter to me. Get the splits yourself but I did end up 4th in my AG, woohoo.***

Bing - UP - yep, I'm up. Two cups of coffee that tasted like dirty lake water and three nervous poops later and it's time to head to transition for set up. My bike rack space was special because was close to Tara from the Biggest Loser. I didn't bother her since everyone wanted her picture and she was trying to get set up. I knew she was bad ass on the show when she barfed and got back up to finish the challenge or work out without whining. Love THAT!

Anyway, it's cold, it's in the 40's, what am I going to wear from swim to bike??? UGH, the hardest decision ever - knowing that you'll be cold but don't want to over heat...blah. Everyone ready, yep, let's head to swim start. WTFFFFF, these genius flip flops are killing me, holy crap, look, two blisters and my feet are covered in red die. I'll probably die from lead poisoning, won't you miss me when I'm gone? Ditch the cheap yet genius idea and just walk barefoot. Continue on with nervous chatter (caught up with Wes, always so nice to see Wes) and met up with other likewise stuffed sausages, man, I gotta pee. I'll be over here in the mulch to warm up and pee on myself. This
did not go as planned. A wet suit doesn't really drain like you might hope. Oh well, it's sterile, they say.

They herd us off the dock for an in water start - which I had never done before so that was cool. Didn't mind that at all. Panic, swim, swim, swim, am I getting dropped already, swim, panic, breathe, panic, can't see buoy looking into sun, just follow people, THWACK. Oh, Hi there, Tilghman (my team mate for Triple T), she's right next to me and smacked me in the head. Sweet, I can see the dock (exit), how the hell am I going to lift myself up? I think I just flopped on my belly like a fish outta water. Hope they got that on film.

OK, up to T1, holy crap, it's frrrrreeeezzzzinnnggg out. What to wear on the bike??? Pitter patter on out... I am NOT a good transitionER. I probably got my nails done and ordered a pizza in there. I did a quick inventory, grabbed bike, put on skull cap under helmet for warmth, tap danced on out of there.

OK, just cruise, that was my plan, I wasn't going to kill myself, this was a dress rehearsal, after all (for Triple T). I think I kinda just zoned out. The course was nice, hilly but it's East TN so I knew what it was going to be like. At a turn around point, I see Til coming in my direction. SWEET. I thought she was in front of me. And that was how we stayed for the remainder of the bike. On our roadie bikes we played cat and mouse with many TT bike peeps. We opted for road bikes since that's what we're using for Triple T but I suppose I would use my TT bike for this course. I really could have used a break (aero bars). Then we see 'that guy.' You know that guy, the guy with board shorts a floppy t-shirt, tennis shoes and cages. I am always wary of that guy because he's usually a sleeper. I can't imagine what he could have done on the bike with some newer technology - that's all I have to say about him! Mile 35-40ish the pain on my left side from the previous days fall kicks in. Excellent, I can feel my shoulder, elbow, wrist and arse cheek. Dang, it hurts and my fingers look like sausages. I hope I didn't break anything???

Snake back through town to transition. Again, I stop take off my shoes and then run up to my rack spot, much better. Throw everything, change, roll out, uh WHERE IS RUN OUT, WTH IS RUN OUT, I was a mouse caught in a maze, it wasn't marked and one of my Nashville peeps had to tell me where to go. After I get out of the maze, I head out too fast, as always, yelling WHERE'S TILGHMAN, WHERE'S TILGHMAN, ANYONE SEE TILGHMAN? ...because everyone should know who I'm talking about. ....I hear Mrs. 'Swami, she's right behind you. Again, SWEET, this is going to work out perfectly. You should know that we do many of our runs together and it's like two little metronomes clipping along, tick, tick, tick, add in both of our heavy breathing and we sound like a terrible 80's porno. We clipped along and had to back off our pacing knowing we'd blow up. We are in two different age groups but when I'd see a 36 or 38 on the back of someones leg, I'd just give her the look and we'd tip toe up and then go, it worked on at least two occasions successfully. Clipping along, thanking peoples, getting some nutrition, mile 5 or so, Til stops dead in her tracks - gotta pee, I gotta pee, bad, she says. Not being a whiner, I know she must have that super pee pain. THEN I turn into a pain in the ass pointing out every bush that she should pee in. I'm lucky she didn't punch me. Mile 7, port o can, she jumps in and tells me to go. So, I did. An uneventful 6.1 miles later, I was done and running into a wonderful finish line (I'm not a total hater). They really had a great area set up with a for real finish line, announcer guy and the whole deal. Really a top notch finish, made you feel like a real big deal. Great guys handing out medals and shirts at the end too, super sweet, looked at me like they were proud of me too.

My performance, for me - fair swim, I always panic. Worst bike split ever but it was the hardest bike course I've ever done in a tri, it was nice but hard. Run - best run split ever...of course, these are all according to me and my watch. My goal, besides dress rehearsal for Triple T, was to run sub-2 hours (for the first time) and I did. All in all, a great day, I had a total blast. I achieved sub 6 and sub 2 for the run, success all around. Tilghman was one pee break behind me and coach was ready to reel us in at the end.

Honestly, so much more hilarity than I can even put in here. Oh, on the run, from the previous days fall, my arse cheek felt like a bruise with someone putting their finger in it every time it jiggled...that was often.

Me, meeting up with some bloggy peeps after the race. We actually had some nervous chatter at the swim start - HellO Illinois! At the end she says - are you Missy!? Why yes I am. I think we're talking about how daYum cute Gunnar is.
He has his ears in pigtails to help them lay flat since we did not crop them. Little buddy.



40 degrees? Cold? Giv me a break girly? Can you remember how cold it was in 2006 in Panama City Beach?

BTW I know I am ready for a race when I finally hit the lav or the porta. Once I have all bodily functions working, I know I am ready to race.


I'll BET Tara had an official time.... (LOL, I know... you're not)

Amanda said...

i love peeing in my wetsuit before the start on a cold day. it totally warms things up. and sometimes a little squeaks out the bottom of the leg..

Molly said...

I think I'm the only person who didn't think it was cold out once I got out of the water - that whole sprinting through transition thing always keeps me warm.

Great job on the race!!!!

Dave said...

always love your race funny...more reports need to be like this....including mine...

Wes said...

Yea, I'm standing at the start line wondering if I should just pee in my wet suit. Of course, I had no arms and no legs in mind. I woulda looked cute standing in a puddle.

I yelled at you in transition too at one point, but I think you were preoccupied. Now, I can't remember if it was swim to bike or bike to run. Probably bike to run since it looks like you came in around the time I would have, based on my transition, bike speed, and earlier start :-) ROFL....

Great job out there! You looked great, and Triple T doesn't know what's coming!!!

Melissa said...

Oh, poor Gunner. He's going to be so embarrassed years down the road when you whip out the pigtail photos to show his friends, not very macho ;-)

Peeing in my wetsuit is one of my favorite parts about race morning.

I'm excited for you and Triple T!

Maryland Girl aka Michelle said...

Great race report! Love Gunnar's pigtails. My danes all have/had natural ears.Love them!

Tri Mommy said...

Great report! Poor Gunnar... although we have a schnauzer we never cut her ears either... when she was a puppy they were so big that people would comment that she had satellite dishes as ears. should have tried the pigtail trip!

Judi said...

i am glad you didn't crop the ears. :)

good job again, missy. you look great!

Al's CL Reviews said...

Great job.

Gunnar is so cute!

Keith said...

Glad to see they got your time straightened out, and so nice to read about your race. Also nice to see that Tilghman is still around even though she doesn't update her blog anymore. Must be fun to race with someone like that.

40 F isn't bad. I've raced in colder. But then I've got lots of insulation to keep me warm.

Runner Leana said...

Glad you got your time! And 4th in your AG? Sweet! Nice job on the race with your friend. And you were close to Tara's bike rack? She was definitely badass on the show. I was totally rooting for her, but it sounds like she's got this healthy lifestyle thing down.

Hope you behind is healing up from the fall!

kristen said...

Sweeeeet. I'm so happy how everything turned out. Especially the run!

Now let's get on with the real deal shall we?!

Jo Lynn said...

Fun to read your race report. Great time on the run girl.

It makes me happy you didn't cut up the puppy's ears. ;)

MCM Mama said...

Great report! Woohoo for the AG placing.

And, OMG, Gunnar is too cute! And I'm not even a big fan of dogs.

aron said...

YAY for getting a time!!! congrats on a great race :)

and looooove the puppy as always <3

Matty O said...

Stumbled on your blog, hilarious! You are a machine out there!!! "We sounded like a bad 80's porn" HAHAHA!

Love your attitude and outlook on things.

We have two pups, they are brother and sister. They are half boxer and half american bulldog just as cute as your lil angel there. We did not crop the ears either (looks painful).

martin briars said...

panic in water!! aiiieeeeeeee .
i just did my first LD tri in Barcelona, sunday. I panicked just as i got to 150m (this is in a fairly calm, not too cold but beautiful Mediterranean!!). I thought i would never be able to finish, i wanted to stop, couldn't breathe, was over a 100m from shore....). Crazy feeling!! Well i got round - 37mins for 1.9 km....not bad...
But that panicky thing was NOT nice!! It must be tough knowing you're a panicker in the water - but you still go ahead! great - love it - great to read!!!

I'll be posting a race impression soon enough on my blog - come visit!

ShirleyPerly said...

Congrats on your race!! Even on a training race, time matters to me. Glad they were able to figure that out.

And I'm with you on figuring out what to wear on the bike on cold days (sub 60s). Just don't have much experience with it.

IronMissy - it's official!

IronMissy - it's official!
A vision in green!