Thursday, April 29, 2010

Dear Diary,

I am in that dark place.  Not much is funny right now.  I’m eating, sleeping or training.  I pride myself in blogging about the lighter side of training and racing but today is just not that day.  It’s a dark day.  I don’t want to any more.  I don’t want to get up at 4am, I don’t want to go for a 100 mile bike ride and I don’t want to run for two hours.  I don’t want any of it.  I don’t care if I don’t race Triple T, you can have it, you can keep it.  I want to hang with the fam and drink beer on a nice afternoon.  I want to ride ONLY if I FEEL like it not because there’s a 100 mile ride on my plate.  I want to enjoy it.  I want to just do it because I WANT to, not because I HAVE to.  I suppose I could bag it all right now.  That IS an option but not for me.  It’s not how I’m wired, it’s not how I’m made.  I don’t do ANYTHING unless I think I can do it successfully or prepare in such a way to do so…with anything, not just this tri thing. 

I pride myself in talking about Pleather, cooter bones and how to never trust a fart on a long run.  How you should always carry a pre-packaged moist towelette with you always because you never know when you may have a moment in the bushes.  Snot rockets and the virtues of peeing on a bike, that’s what I’m all about, not this serious shit. 

The darker side of endurance training – NO I’m NOT made for this, NO I don’t LOVE getting up at 4am every Meffen day, NO I don’t really enjoy running that much.  Everyone always thinks I’m a runner because I’m so tall.  Anyway, sometimes, I want to give it up, I don’t give a shit if I don’t do REV3 or 3State3Mountain OR Triple T.  I want to sit home on the sofa like the rest of America.3State3MtnProfile

Today, I did that.  titansI skipped everything, I played with puppies and drank beer with hubs, we ate pizza and laughed.  It was the most perfect and glorious day.  You know what, it was a really nice day for a bike ride….mmmm, maybe I am made for this shit afterall?

Don’t worry, dear friends, I know what this is.  I am going through my IronBITCH phase.  I know it when it happens and, thankfully, know that it will pass.  For now, I just don’t wanna anymore.

You know what, this is how I know I’m ready. 

Bring IT!




Tilghman Carroll said...

Guuuurrl, I feel you...big time! Let's get this shit over with already!

San said...

You can do it and you will!!! I have complete trust in you.

Don't succumb to the dark side.

Good to know you have gloomy days too. Hold on to the good times though.


Dave said...

HELL YEAH...crawl through that abyss...and come out the other side...glad you did...and will looking for the next on.

KC (my 140 point 6 mile journey) said...

You are so dang fiesty...i love it! It's obvious you know yourself very well. I'm ready to tackle those 3 stickin mole hills this weekend.

Chloe said...

I feel the same way sometimes...but my limit is one day on the couch. If I act like the rest of America....I become a major moody bitch :) Crap like this keeps us normal!! Make those mts your bitch!

Julie said...

Great post -- I think writing this stuff down is going to resonate with a lot of people....

A full day of puppy love? Oh yeah baby, you are going to come back HARD!!! :) :) :)

skierz said...

Love your spirit and honesty! You know and we know you be will be back in a kick ass phase soon! Keep smilin Missy! we are all cheering you on!

RBR said...

NOTHING recharges a battery like a day playing hookie with the dogs and hubby.

After I get through some crazy shit at school I am doing the same thing and taking the old lady (she is 12. Her muzzle matches Magnus.) and the old man (he is significantly older than 12 ;) ) to the beach. I always say, "All work and no play makes Jane a fucking, homicidal nutjob."

Good on you, man.

Can't wait to watch you KILL it.

Bill said...

I think your body just told you you're good to go for those events in May and wanted you to take a rest day. At least you were smart enough to listen to the message.

kristen said...

Take your time off sister. With a job and hubby and training like a professional athlete and all, your bound to turn into BitchyMcBitch.

It's all good. Be a bitch, have your time, then get your ass back up. There will be plenty of down time May 24th! Hang in there girl.

LDub said...

and days like that is how you avoid burnout!

1 day aint going to kill you - its going to make you love the sport, love your disciplined lifestyle, and make your hubby and puppies love the extra attention.

i did the same think in norcal yesterday - damn rain making me depressed. i took a nap with my dog. maybe mine was irondepressed.

Big Daddy Diesel said...

This is the reason I joined a bike team. Freakin training is so flipping hard all the flippin time and then you race, then what? Train some more? I joined a team to have some fun, to take things less serious, to bike, just to bike. I hope you well in getting out of this funk.

Beth said...

Not Iron Bitch - Iron BADASS!!!

Go get 'em!

Velma said...

You are ready! A day of beer should always be part of a training plan.

Susi said...

i love that you took a day off to decompress and have fun with the family! that's what gets you through endurance training and makes it doable. :)

Aimee (I Tri To Be Me) said...

I think it's awesome that you took some time off to hang out, have a beer, and just relax. We ALL NEED that every once in awhile. And, it's 0-kay! You'll come through the dark side stronger and more determined than before!

martin briars said...

you can't underestimate the need to rest!!!!!!!!!
i just wrote about this on my bilingual blooog! - but you write it funnier!

looks cool your 3 state ride!
I'm off on a trans-pyrenees at the end of May : you can't beat the French-Spanish mountains in May, i can tell you - you know those little bumps that Lance used to rocket up?

keep up the writing as well as the riding!

Judi said...

it's ok missy. you WILL be back and you WILL crush TTT.

Al's CL Reviews said...

One day to hang with hubs and pups won't kill you. Now get back to it!


Almost there.

aron said...

you have to find a couple dark spots in training so you know how to handle them on race day right? you know you will get through this but good for you for taking a day off when you really needed it. those are VERY important to :)

Heidi Austin said...

ouch that blowss.... i feel ya! sometimes we all need a day off. you deserve it :)

MCM Mama said...

You sound like I felt finishing up my marathon training. I can't imagine how much *more* you've handled than I have.

You are going to rock your upcoming events!

Marit C-L said...

Sometimes you just have those days - and GOOD FOR YOU for letting yourself experience them! :) I hope that beer was gooood. mmmmmmmmm..... :)

Diana said...

I need a piece of that "attitude" for my trip to St. Paul....
I'm getting there, almost at that point where I don't want anything to do with my "snatch" anymore!!!

Rock on!

Wes said...

never trust a fart on a long run.

*snicker* and here I thought this was going to be a dark blog post.


How could you think about giving up Rev3 when you KNOW I'm gonna be there?

IronMissy - it's official!

IronMissy - it's official!
A vision in green!