Thursday, February 18, 2010

Farts and Fruit and the Frog Lady

Initially, I thought my early season racing was going to be the most ingenious idea evah. Not so much. While I'm notorious for saving all my A races for November, I opted for a May A race. I full well knew there would be lots of trainer time but I didn't bargain for treadmill time. I have: a) become a total baby about weather b) already know what it's like to run and race in crap weather and c) lost my love for cold weather running. I USED to think that high 30's/low 40's was optimum and would wear shorts or maybe a pair of tights. NOW, crap, I wear at least one pair of tights and maybe my gortex pants to cut the wind. Yes, I know they have great high-tech tights that I could invest in but this is the first year in Tennessee that I have even used my gortex pants. I've been here 15 years for crying out loud. I'm just ready for some good average 50 degree weather and sunshine.

I'm sitting here, eating cake, watching the evening Olympics and my booberry buzzes with an email - subject line - farts and fruit. I am totally intrigued and must read, it's from Judi so I KNOW this is going to be good. Here is the content...

i thought of you tonight as i rode the trainer for 2 hours on an apple and water. farts galore.

I must say, there is nothing that makes me happier than to be the bright spot in your life. When you fart, you think of me. Actually, it couldn't be any more appropriate. Hell, my mother was the queen of the latent blame the other guy fart and the SBD fart that could clear a room. She was much like me. I can't help it, farts are funny.


EVERYONE gets credit for showing up to the gym and working out. Hands down - including the people in the pool that look like they're going to drown. They're trying. Wednesday, the frog lady was at the pool. I don't know that I have ever seen anything quite like it. She had every apparatus on except for water wings. Goggles, cap, snorkel, neoprene hand mit/glove thingies, and fins. No, she didn't look like Lady Gaga in the Kermit costume but I was pretty sure she could sit on a lily pad and hang out for a while. I wanted to laugh but I was just glad she was there froggin around.

Hill repeats on tap this morning. I hear it will take me about seven minutes and I have the pleasure of doing it three times. Yeah, can't wait.

27 comments:

RockStarTri said...

Thought of you. Just thought of you again. Again. And again.

What's that?

Dare I say again. Yup.

FLATOUT JIM said...

You crack me up.

My swim bag is bigger than my hockey bag! and I used to be a goalie!

Don't worry, it'll warm up soon.

Jen said...

We have farting issues here with the kids... not that they fart, but they have to announce it loudly whereever we are and worse when hubby farts. My daughter yelled out the door the other morning to a street full of neighbors, "Dad farted, and it was loud!"

Goota love kids.

Keith said...

You could come visit Calgary, or Saskatoon for a while. Most of the time that would TOTALLY reset your temperature sensitivity. Oh, wait, you're used to humidity. Your skin would crack and fall off here.

I'm happy to see people working out, trying to improve, reducing our overall heath care costs. But geeze louize, I wish they'd figure out the traffic pattern FIRST, and learn to stay out of the way of those going faster.

Wes said...

I did my tempo run on the track last night in high 30's. Proud of me? Yes, I wore shorts :-)

Dee Dee is the mistress of Farts... ROFL... don't tell her I said that...

I'm trying to reconcile my desire to go sub-6 in May with the fact I'm not sure I will be as fit as I was in September. *sigh*

Beth said...

Me on the bike w/ an apple & water would be bad news. Very bad news.

Frogger was wearing a Snorkel??? For real??

Kim said...

wes - you can suck it. i did 4 minute tempo repeats the other night in the snow/slush rain!

i fart ALL the time on the trainer! and im not going on apples and water. what is it with trainers and farting???

skierz said...

what?? is thre something wrong with water wings? I thought I was doing so well! Have fun on your hills~!

The Running Girl said...

I'm a total baby about weather, too. I don't mind racing in shorts when temps are in the 40s, but not for training. Gotta stay warm.

Carolina John said...

that is a crazy frog lady. uhh, i mean... you look nice today dear.

Aimee (I Tri To Be Me) said...

I think everyone is sick of the cold. I know I am. Bring on spring!!!

Frog lady sounds hilarious! More power to her for getting out there.

Good luck with your hill repeats...those are always fun...not!

Judi said...

:)

thanks for linking to me girlie. i love that your playing around with your nutrition a little. i learn from peeps like you. the farting though, really uncomfortable. :) LOL.

Heather @ Side of Sneakers said...

Haha I hate when I want to laugh at people but know I shouldn't because they're just trying! I'm sure there's plenty of people laughing at me too :)

Julie said...

Did you ever notice that when you burp on a bike ride, your heart rate momentarily goes really low? Hee-hee -- things I've noticed in the past.... LOL!!!!

Dave said...

yep...always a quandry when in a spin class or a flex/strength class and you got to fart...;-)

kristen said...

I can NEVER eat an apple on a day that I have to run - especially speedwork days! I learned this the hardway. I would have ducked in the woods, but there weren't any and I actually had to drive home "holding it in" the whole effing way. Miserable. Nver again!

Come visit me! 50 - 55 and sun all week long....

Marit Chrislock-Lauterbach said...

Ha ha - this is great! Farts and all :) You know what? I'm a cold weather wimp as well...AND you guys have been stuck in a major cold-freeze for a while. Relish the indoor training and know that there's nothing wrong with being toasty on the trainer instead of freezing-your-ass-off outside. :)

ShirleyPerly said...

I too thought it might be nice to train for a race earlier in the year and escape the heat & humidity during the summer. But training in the "cold" we've been having lately is not as fun as I thought it'd be. Need to drag my butt to the outdoor pool. Everyone there is a winner, IMO, too.

Maryland Girl aka Michelle said...

bicycle tires on actual pavement??? I wish! I had farting issues the other day I was on the elliptical machine since I could stand another round on the treadmill.... come on spring... well come on days of sunshine and anything over 40 to melt all this snow!

Jon Gilchrist said...

that's what friends are for....

those SBDs are sooo dangerous. They pounce upon you from NOWHERE...adn u're just DONE and DONE!!

Good luck with those hill repeats....

Amanda said...

LOL. I was on the trainer the othe rnight when i got a text from Judi that said "i'm farting because all i'm eating is an apple. lol. like missy"
I kid you not.
I have fart issues for an number of reasons. maybe due to my love of sugar? or my love of broccoli? either way, i'm a gassy girl. and yes, they're f*cking hilarious.

MCM Mama said...

Thanks for the laughs!!

I used to think I liked winter. Turns out I like the NORMAL southern winters. D'oh!

Susi said...

whoever doesn't think a fart is funny...is not alive. LOL.

oh, and i have no sympathy over the weather. i'm sorry. i just can't. i live in the great white north. lol.

best SBD fart i ever did...i was driving the parental unit in dad's car. felt one brewing, so hit the 'window lock' then let'er rip. silently of course. i then noted my parents frantically trying to lower the car windows...which i had locked. i was killing myself laughing, they were gasping for air, and laughing too. that's the kind of family we are. of course, i unlocked the windows eventually. heh.

Al's CL Reviews said...

You are too much!

joyRuN said...

I had to share lanes with a dude who was frogging his way on his back forEVER. I would've been annoyed, except because of him, I didn't have to circle swim with anyone. No one dared to come near our lane ;)

prashant said...

wait, you're used to humidity. Your skin would crack and fall off here.

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prashant said...

My swim bag is bigger than my hockey bag! and I used to be a goalie!


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