Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year!

Kind of a roller coaster year and I'm happy it's over. Looking forward to 2010 and all the promise a new decade will bring. All my best to you and yours.

Do you love my latest Christmas gift? This door mat might be the best Christmas gift this year...

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Did You Miss ME??? Lifethings kinda post...

Suffice it to say, I was not 'away' by choice. Once again, after taking Hot Yoga, I got sick. As you may recall, Hot Yoga was a success...until I got sick a day later with an upper respiratory infection some weeks ago. THEN, I decided to go back...even after a Nurse friend of mine said - "that's got to be like some kind of germ pool in there. Do you know what kind of bacteria can grow at 108 degrees?" I did not heed this warning and went back. A few days later, out for the count. On my back, on my sofa, coughing what appeared to be pieces of my lungs. I'm bummed because I was really liking the Hot Yoga, nothing like getting a serious sweat on. Apparently, me and my asthma can not take that kind of heat and humidity. They said they would call if it was pneumonia. There was a 'very little something' on the Xray. They haven't called, guess I should call them. Oh, yeah, I was at the walk-in clinic on a Sunday. What kind of decrepit people wait until Sunday morning to go to the doctor? ME, of course. There were snotty kids, broken fingers and some guy who was suffering from some stomach ailment for over 10 days. Really, jerk off, you wait until Sunday morning and you've been nauseous for 10 days? Unbelievable. Once again, I have seen every terrible show on television. I know what every Housewife in every county is doing thanks to Bravo and have learned a ton about the prison system in Georgia thanks to NatGeo channel.

Magnus and Me - living it up on the sofa. Yep, we just laid there for days on end. Him with his eye, me with my...snot and a cough that could choke ya. We DID make it through Christmas in one piece and then just hit rock bottom after that.

So my four week (post B2B) hiatus has turned into almost an eight week hiatus with very little swimming, running and ONE bike ride in between. My legs are feeling twitchy from atrophy and I don't sleep worth a crap. Guess that means it's time to start training. In fact, coach gave me plan for Triple T today, um, yeah, it was nice knowing all y'all but I'm going to be very busy VERY soon. I know I saw some peak weeks with 4 runs, 4 rides, 3 swims, 2 strength. WTF? There's talk of Dave Scott bricks and the Tabata Protocol and I haven't seen the road in days, weeks, even. Oh well, it all comes back, right? Bless it, the sickest winter that I can remember.

Happy New Year - 2010 is going to be great. I can feel it.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas and all that Crap...

Fast, in bullets...

  • We celebrated Festivus with beers and the traditional Festivus dinner that included the Pepperidge Farm cake with M&Ms.
  • I got a Festivus present from hubs that rocks out.
  • Christmas Eve morning we were hung over from Festivus and I had LOTS of cooking to do. Oops, no wonder I screwed up the potatoes.
  • Magnus has kept me up for two nites in a row. Ulcerated eye...yes, again, other eye. So painful. We OWN a wing of the Veterinary Ophthalmology office here in town. This is his alternative to the lampshade! Looks like a hemorrhoid pillow on his neck. Poor guy, his left eye is killing him. I won't tell you what they did because it will make YOU wince.
  • Yes, you heard me, Veterinary Ophthalmology.
  • So far, Santa brought me all NON-sporting gifts for the first time in ages - a dress watch, not an HRM, a jacket, not for riding or running, gloves for cold weather, not for wiping snot from my drippy nose and more to come. Wow, this is pretty fun.
Hope you're having a GREAT Christmas! Look for me on TV tonite, we'll be at the Titans vs. Chargers game. Nothing says Christmas like football...OK, maybe not. I don't want to go to hell, after all.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Monday, December 21, 2009

2010 Schedule Preview

Read it and weep...I know I did. This, apparently, is the year of the hills for me. Thankfully, they're not hard to find around here. I have lots of work to do.

Season Opener - Tom King Half Marathon - March 13, Nashville. I would like to say that this will be my PR attempt for the year at a 1:45. We will have to see. Typically, this is the day of the perfect storm in Tennessee OR I am 'spring' sick with allergies.

Powerman Duathlon - estimated - April 18. This date is not posted yet but it's 8K run - 53K bike - 8K run in Birmingham, AL.

3 State 3 Mountain - May 1, Chattanooga. It is what it says and it makes me want to cry....it is a 100 mile bike ride that crosses three mountains. You know you want a ride a mountain called Suck Creek. Waaaahaaaaa!

REV3 Knoxville - May 8, Oly or Half IM, not sure yet. This is a week after 3S3M so it will depend upon if I am alive or not.

Triple T Ohio - May 21-23 - This might be my dumbest idea ever. Besides four races in three days, I have to wear the race issued singlet. GAWD!

End of May - buy Missy a puppy - y'all know I'm a sucker for a Boxer. This will keep me busy and allow me to enjoy the 'end' of my 2010 season. Told ya I wouldn't be so stupid this year. Late season races can suck it!
So there it is, for now. Training will start in earnest Jan. 4, 2010...and so will my boycott of all things bad for me. I have a freakin race singlet to get into!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

What is scarier?

What is more terrifying - my upcoming race schedule for 2010 (that was assembled by coach and partner in crime, to be posted shortly) or the fact that I have to wear a race issued singlet for Triple T in May? I'm actually thinking the singlet is more terrifying. I am totally comfortable with all body parts EXCEPT for my belly. No, no, I know, it's not gigantic or anything it's just, well, softer than it should be to pull off a singlet. See, a singlet is made for normal sized people. They do not come in talls and if you order larger, it assumes that you have huge jugs...that I don't have. I have to order a medium, or so, and then it just cuts me right above my gut. Perfect way to accentuate my soft gooey center. Of course, when I flip through pictures of years past, everyone is looking pretty shredded and doesn't seem to look like a busted biscuit.

I suppose the only way to over come this fault of mine, is to eat salmon and spinach for the next six months. Certainly, this will have to wait until AFTER Christmas and New Years fo sho. I'm not a terrible eater but I do think that a Five Guys Burger and Fries is one of the most perfect recovery foods after a hard ride and that cheese is its own food group. If there is any chance that I look half as good as those Triple T peoples in that itty bitty singlet, I'll need to lean up. Now I know why I only race in one piece bathing suits or race kits...it holds my junk together so nicely.

This whole prospect of having to wear their race singlet is terrifying enough to make me do something about it....I think.

P.S. I just noticed that the stellar guy from yesterday's post has displayed his ROCK BAND and GUITAR HERO guitars. Not even the real deal. So guns and Rock Band, for your listening pleasure.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Monday, December 14, 2009

First run back...

I have become VERY comfortable in blowing off every workout in the recent past in favor of ANYTHING. Seriously, anything could come up and that swim or run would just fall on by the way side. SUNDAY was the time to begin anew, I thought a baby sized run would be the perfect way to get back on the wagon.

My newest plan, that benefits everyone, warm up walk with Magnus, just a little 20 minutes of walking fast, return dawg to the house, drop off a jacket and head out to run.
I was going to be smart and leave my watch at home but noooo, I needed to KNOW how bad I was going to suck. I had been running a cool nine miles/week prior to the flu bug but at least it was at a decent pace. This time, not so much BUT that was my plan. I wanted to enjoy it too. I succeeded on all accounts - a slow but happy little run. It will all come together soon enough, just need to keep on keepin on. Who knew that a week off could mean that all my junk hurt so badly. Seriously, a sore back and hamstrings?!

In random ass news...

I was at a local "made in China" store that carries a wide range of made in China goods from fake trees, to fake wall art, fake furniture and fake flower arrangements. Anyway, I was making my way through some fake wall art that was stacked up. These were very large wall pieces when the brace that was holding them together broke free and the stack cut loose on my ass. YES, a large stack of framed made in China wall art cut loose on my ass and knocked me to the ground in the middle of the daYum store. I was buried under fake made in China wall art. I couldn't even get out by myself - other shoppers had to come over and help me out of the fake wall art pile of shit. I wish someone was there to see it, it was pretty funny except for the bruised knee when I hit the ground under $2 wall art that they're charging $200 a piece for - oh but it's 30% off, such a deal. As to NOT to look like I was running in shame, I continued to 'shop' while rubbing my knee and pretending NOT to be embarrassed. Seriously, who get's attacked by fake wall art?!?

Friday, December 11, 2009

Falling out of love?

Ever think you're falling out of love and have it scare you? Something you were so passionate about and, for the moment, could care less. It's kind of like that brief moment when you go out with your single friends, look around, and think - wow, this isn't so bad. Then you get home to your spouse and realize, BUT THIS is so much better. Wouldn't trade my life for nothin! I'm really hoping that this epiphany hits me pretty daYum soon. I have NEVER taken this much time off post season. I have NEVER gone this long with NO schedule. I have NEVER gone this long without swimming or cycling...at least in the recent past. Thing is, I'm totally OK with it.

I know that logical people much smarter than I will tell me this is natural, this is a great time to rest, take a break, recover. Fine, fine but I pretty much haven't done anything since November 7. The part that scares me is the simple fact that I'm OK with it, it's not hard. Quite frankly, I've really enjoyed not doing much of anything - a little run here, a little weight there, a Hot Yoga 'try out' and maybe another little run. Other than that, I have not seen a 5:00am swim in over a month or gotten up for any workout for that matter.

I guess I should be thankful for this time. I am really enjoying it. I just really hope that I fall back in love with triathlon and all things triathlon real soon...Triple T training starts, um, in January.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Not So Wordless Wednesday!

I don't usually go MIA without notice but this flu - or whateverthehellitis - didn't give ME notice either. I was in bed from Thursday nite until Monday. It sucked. All of that right after my Hot Yoga success. It did make me a little suspicious that I picked up some funky vermin from that hot and humid room. I paid for a week and got to go once, another pisser! Ah, well, nothing like TWO months off from training to really get rejuvenated, sheesh. This was a real ass kicker. Still not up to par yet and probably won't workout or do anything that resembles working out until this weekend.

The only thing I have for you is a review of all the television I watched and the wide variety of soups I ate. I feel like granny in the nursing home, I swear. "You know, Mildred, that chicken soup tasted like real chickens and had big ole' noodles in it. I could gum that real good like." Yep, crackers, soup and Sprite, the story of my life. That AND...

  • Jersey Shore - I don't ever need to see this again. Guido's and Guidettes, who knew?
  • The Real Housewives of New Jersey...and all things Jersey
  • Rupaul's Drag Race - This show rocks and I WILL watch it again.
  • Nip/Tuck - How did I not know about this show before and how can they get away with all 'that' on regular cable?
  • For the Love of Ray Jay - Trashy women in competition for something, don't need to see again.
  • Intervention - Really, I only want the happy endings.
  • Hoarders - Holy CRAP, very sad, will never watch again. How many times can you watch a persons house be condemned because they collect crap...literally, a woman was dying in her own crap. She did not have water on in the house for over two years. This must be a whole lot more common than you can imagine if there's a whole series of shows about it. I feel for their poor families.
  • The Biggest Loser - amazing, always amazing at the finale each year. I was pulling for Rudy but Danny was looking great. I'm just glad that crazy eyes Tracey didn't win. She was creeping me out!

And Tiger a sex addict. Is that the new term for any man that just likes lots of sex, he's an addict? Wouldn't that cover most of the male population? I'm so confused. If you put a label on it, that absolves him from all wrong doing or something? Oh, he's an addict, we must fix him. He's a whore, he cheated on his wife....and a dumbass because his wife is uber hot.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Bikram Yoga Success!

I REALLY thought I was going to a) hate it b) die of heat exhaustion c) implode. I am very proud to say that none of those things happened. I haven't been 'the new guy' in AGES, anywhere, at anything, more like a fixture, at this point. It was with my NEW yoga mat ($12.95, TJ Maxx) and NEW yoga pants (that can suck it, no wonder they were at TJ Maxx for $12) that I showed up to class 30 minutes before the start to fill out the necessary paper work and absolve them of any responsibility. Sandra, the owner, could not have been nicer and nobody actually looked at me to point and laugh. We're starting out right here. She tells us the room is 105 and 40% humidity and that my main goal (as a first timer) is to just stay in the room. This is kinda like Tennessee in the summer time. WHAT the hell kind of torture is this???

Here's how it went down - Strip down to the bare minimum clothing before entering the room. Seriously, these people had on mini black shorts and a bra top. Not me, my friend. I must cover my soft gooey center, I don't care HOW hot it is. Issue #1, my new, fancy brown yoga pants that I bought special for this moment. I now know why everyone was wearing BLACK bottoms in that class. I had a nice ring around my junk - a nice outline of EVERYTHING. Issue #2, the reason these dumb ass pants were at TJ Maxx (by Reebok) was that they give you a RAGING camel toe. Yes, my friends, you could almost see my fallopian tubes, I swear. Issue #3, I will be wearing said pants to every class for the next week because I don't have anything else. Great, joy, it's a good look.

Blah, blah, we went through all the poses. I did yoga a gagillion years ago. I don't know the pose names but I could follow as we went along. I did not wear a watch on purpose but at one point, I just HAD to know what time it was because I wasn't sure I was going to make it without running outside into the cold air for some relief. The instructor totally busted me for grabbing Angie's arm to look at her watch. Crap 20 more minutes. I can do this.

With every lean and every movement, pools of sweat would just run down my face and nose if we were inverted. AND I do mean just pools of it. You could totally ring my clothes out at the end and produce, gross but it really felt like a bike ride in the middle of a hot Tennessee summer...my Gatorade tasted like it too. Mmmm, warm Gatorade in a room full of sweaty, stinky people.

I did not fart, I did not laugh, not even giggle. I did cuss a fair amount, shocker, I know. I was actually surprised by all of this. I was concentrating so daYum hard on NOT falling over and working on my balance that any little giggle would have totally thrown me off. I dropped 3lbs of water weight from that class - I'm sure immediately put back on when I slammed a gallon of water when I got home but I'm going with the 3lbs. I felt really 'clean' and limber afterwards. I am sore, a little, but I kinda can't wait to go back. It's such a departure from anything that I'm used to, maybe that's it, not sure. This just may have to be something that I work on now and then incorporate, to a lesser degree, when it is ON-season.

So, there it is, I know you were hoping for the fact that I farted and ran out of the 105 degree room in embarrassment covering my face in shame or that Angie and I were thrown out for giggling at someone else's farts but it just didn't happen, sorry.

In Christmas News....

When did it become a holiday tree? Do you know another group of people that puts up a tree? No, it's a Christmas Tree, so what?

I don't mind a Menorah too. The more the merrier, I say. I don't care who you pray to or how you pray, just pray for me for crying out loud! God, Jesus, whatever, either way, makes me no never mind.

Is Merry Christmas really that offensive?

I don't think that a Jewish person would really mind (let me know here if it's offensive, I really would like to know). If they wished me a Happy Hanukkah, I wouldn't be mad, I'd just say, Happy Hanukkah back.

I suppose it's usually the atheists are the one's that get bent over the whole holiday season, Christmas or Hanukkah.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Hot Yoga!

I'm doing it! Ever have those list of things you're 'going to do' during the off season but never do? I am FOREVER guilty of just swimming, cycling and running, period. I always SAY - yoga, weights, core, blah, blah, blah and I never DO. I am biting the bullet and doing something I'm totally uncomfortable with...yoga...hooootttt yoga.

Remember the first time you showed up at Masters Swim? If you're like me, you didn't even know what 'starting on the top' meant. I had no clue about pool etiquette and thought that I just wanted to survive. I was terrified that I would be the slowest, crappiest swimmer with all the wrong gear. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into but I just showed up and been there since 2006 or so. Fast forward to 2009, I feel like I could at least show up for most group rides, group runs or swims and have someone to hang with, it is where I am most comfortable.

I have decided it's now or NEVER. I am going to hot yoga (with the help of a friend) on Wednesday. I know there's all this zen crap and quiet time biz...Angie and I have NEVER been in a room or car together and NOT talked the entire time. We drove nine hours to Florida and never turned on the music, if that's any indication. I'm afraid that we will be asked to leave when I bust out laughing or make Angie laugh. This is going to be like two kids in church, I swear...without her, I'm not so sure I would go, though. So there it is, stay tuned for some total hilarity. I have no doubt that this is good for me, let's just see if I'm good for hot yoga.
Oh, and fart noises KILL me and throw me into a ball of laughter. I'm in trouble, I know.

Post Thanksgiving ramblings...

  • It IS possible to gain 5lbs in a weekend.
  • Is it eating and drinking everything in site that made me break out? I can't even say it was the pool, always my excuse. I'm 37, really, zits???
  • I really could have used just one more day.
  • I think sleeping in makes me more tired - I refused to get out of bed before 7:30-8:00am just because.
  • I'm glad I didn't go shopping on Black Friday.
  • Do you think hot yoga will help me sweat out the 5lbs I just consumed?
  • I'm so sick of turkey that I don't want another piece of poultry for a while.
  • When is the next holiday...I'm ready for more days off!

HOT YOGA....and it was MY idea. CRAP! AND, I'm going to make an attempt to go at LEAST three days in a weeks time. They say (whoever THEY is) it's best if you can hammer it out even if you feel crappy.

IronMissy - it's official!

IronMissy - it's official!
A vision in green!