Sunday, May 31, 2009

Bad Blogger, Bad Blogger Friend!

I have been told by more than one person that I have been a bad blogger friend lately. I was really on a daily roll for the longest time and it seems I have fallen apart a bit. I will try to be a better friend. It seems that once I get to the weekend, I fall apart. I get caught up in all my own training and life happenings that I let 'this' go. This may not be great, funny or particularly inspirational today but....

Lake swimming has started and you know what that means, besides funky skin rashes, dead fish, dodging boats, and mooning unsuspecting boaters as we change our clothes in the marina parking lot...Grandma (aka Kasha) gets to go swimming too. If you've never seen a 13 year old Boxer, here you go. If you never seen a Boxer that likes to swim, here you go. See, Boxers aren't particularly fond of water or swimming. Grandma has always liked it, even a spry pup. Boxers aren't known for their longevity either so 13 is ancient. Her hips aren't the greatest and she didn't manage the rocks very well getting down to the water. Grandma bit it a couple of times. She's tough as nails, though and just pulls those blasted hind legs back up. After our 'lap', she gets her turn. I've even noticed her slowing down in 09 compared to 08. Last year, you may recall, her job was to save the swimmers that were sure to drown. These are all from 2008....


She took her job very seriously back then, as you can see. One more swimmer saved, my job here is done. Probably scared the shit out of that poor guy wondering what theee hell was swimming at him.

These are from today, 2009...


As you can see, not so much action as before. Rather than swim, we did this physical therapy/water treadmill thing. I'd just hold her in the water while she paddled her little legs. She can't really go for walks and this little adventure will have her sleeping the rest of the day. Grandma had a blast today and if a dog could smile, she did...even if she fell over a couple of times.

All of that makes me wonder about the old people at the pool. You know, the ones who are doing some weird back stroke frog thing taking up the whole lane and barely moving? That may be the best they've got, that may be what's left in the tank. You kind of look at them like, why even bother to get wet, you're not really moving, you're not really going anywhere? In fact, you kind of look like you need to be saved. Who knows what they did in their younger years? For all I know, they were college swim champs or triathlon gurus. Guess what, sometimes, when it's all 'over' and you just physically can't do it anymore, you still want to go just because it's FUN.

That's why Kasha went to the lake today. She can't save you any longer or fetch sticks in the water but paddling around a little was just plain fun. Sometimes, it really is that simple.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Faux Rain and a Deal with the Devil

Ever just lay there hoping that it's pouring out? Tuesday morning after a very fun long weekend, I agreed to meet my trusty track partner at 530am. Alarm goes off at 445, I lay there, listen, lay there, hoping that its raining since I'm most certainly not going to the track in the rain. Blasted, it's dry. I drag my arse out of bed and meet Andy for our speed workout. We didn't over extend ourselves, it's been a year since we've done speed in earnest so we did a mile warm up, 4 x 1 mile repeats and a mile cool down. All in a all, great workout and I didn't feel like a total POS out there. Hopefully, I didn't look like it either. Oh, a tip, do NOT wear heels to work the day of your speed or track workout, holy hell. My gams were on fir-ah! Guys, that especially goes for you.

Some bike riding in between...my hand is covering my headlight and burning the crap out of me.
Thursday morning, the devil is screaming in my ear to get up. I tell that SOB to shut the hells up and turn him off. Yep, alarm at 430 to ... yes, go run again. After a nite bike ride, there is nothing harder than getting up to run. My legs are tired and I'm just sleepy. Further justification that the devil was WRONG - I need to train more in the heat so I can get acclimated. Another reason that running this afternoon will be more beneficial to me and that the devil was just plain wrong to go off like that at 430.

Hope the weather is shaping up where you are! Go Wings!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

I think these guys beat me last year...now that's a high tech ride!!!



Really? This is as good as trying to hold onto the mattress tied to the top of your car.


Sunday, May 24, 2009

Looong Weekend!

Who gets up at 4:15am on a day off from work to go to swim?! C'mon man, are you kidding me. Yep, did it. Sheesh. Besides that, some open water swimming at the lake, lots of rides and a few runs.

To top it all off, some rock solid tick inspection. Yep, RH had one on his leg (thankfully, that's where he 'dug in') and that led to multiple tick inspections of animals and humans alike. Always good times....


Found this nasty little bugger on Magnus. It was a sign - got to get that Frontline on STAT! Thankfully, he's a pretty amicable guy about the whole thing.
Be careful with those little nasties when you stop to pee on a bush on your next ride. That isn't a new mole you've developed on your undercarriage;)

Do you like the helmet marks?!

Besides Ryan trying to take me out by making me ride three days in a row - you gotta take your opportunities when they present themselves - we went to a wedding reception and a few parties. You know it's a good reception when someone ends up in the pool...fully clothed. OK, he was diving for his phone that was dropped in the pool but WHATEVAH.

Ah yes, reliving the good old days where you didn't leave a party until the kegs were floating. It was a great time. Nothing like being at a table with NOT ONE but TWO urologists and other assorted medical types. I won't even post what they had to offer...I'd be flagged for indecent material. But man, lemme tell ya, people like to do crazy stuff to their junk, that's fo sho.

And thennn, we discover that our friends got engaged this weekend as well. Oh, love is in there...gotta go....

Congratulations you two! We are very happy for you!


Thursday, May 21, 2009

24 Hour Tri...planning phase

You've all heard me talk of this 24 hour tri 'thing' that I want to do next year. Well, someone...Dave...heard me loud enough. Long story short, he got me in touch with the biggest, baddest mutha of all, yep, Shanna Armstrong. Her name might not be as familiar to you but in the ultra world she is the deali-O. Anyway, got her number and called to ask a gazillion questions about ultra racing and this 24 deal. Oh, did I mention that she WON the 24 hour tri last year? Yep. Yeah, and she WINS Ultraman and RAAM and other assorted wicked ridonkulous events like that. She's training for a gigathlon and I don't even know what that IS. All the websites are in German. I THINK it's swimming, biking, running, skating, cycling. I have no clue the difference between biking and cycling unless it's road vs. mountain? Check out the resume on her website. All you can say is 'holy crap!' For being such a serious competitor, she was quick to say - have fun, that's the key, you still have to be having fun. This seemed to apply to both racing AND training. Her advice - if you're having a crappy run, maybe you need to go for a ride instead, get in something. Maybe it's not exactly what was prescribed on the schedule but it might just be the change up you need (physically and mentally).

Training for this does not seem it will be as daunting as I previously anticipated. It actually seems less regimented than Ironman training. Who knew!?! It'll be more free style training, get in the long stuff, a brevet or two would be good prep for the 24 hour race, get in some nite running and work on the mental game. How to keep the body moving forward when everyone else is falling apart? That seems to be the key. I'm totally stoked about it. She said she'd look at my training plans...she also said I should do it THIS year. GULP! I'd love to but I'm choosing to stay married, thanks. 2010 it is!

In workout news....
Why is it that when I start doing 'everything' again, the weights and core stuff take a back seat? I know it's key but when you're at 3 swim/3 bike/3 run you think it's enough. I must get better at getting the weights back into the plan.

One cold run, one nite ride, one swim and a bunch more to go this week. Weather is good, I'm ready.

In other news....
You can't fix stupid...we've all heard that one before, sure. BUT you can't cover up ugly with a little bit of makeup either!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Is it May!?

Monday nite - mowed lawn in t-shirt and shorts. Lovely evening.

Tuesday morning - WTF? Are you kidding me? I had to cover a tree with a blanket so it wouldn't die last nite. That's what we do here in the south, cover our newly planted shrubs, bushes and flowers when we get a late season frost. It's ridiculous! It's like a bunch of homeless plantings hanging out in the yard covered in old bed sheets and blankets. This is an old car cover. Hope the tree is dust and frost free.
How can anyone seriously get up when it's like this out? I truly wonder myself. C'mon man, the world is still sleeping. How can you think about doing anything - swimming, biking or running?


Yep, 42 degrees this morning. Are you KIDDING me? The weather jacka$$ said it's 42 out and thanks to my friends on facebook. Huh!? I know I'm the last person on the planet without a facebook page...even the weather guy?! BUT, here in TN I just caught and interesting stat - only 5% of women that are pregnant in my county smoke, but 47% of pregnant women in some backwoods county, TN smoke. Now that's livin' kids!

Baby sized run before my dentist appointment - all geared up, hat, jacket, this sucks. Dentist appointment was never weird until I started swimming with my dentist....I just have a hard time calling him by his first name. He's always been Doc to me and had a mask on his face. Now, I see him at the pool. He's reading this right now so ... Doc, help me with the coffee stains and NO I don't want veneers but thanks (not taking out a second mortgage for some prettier teeth).

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Girls Weekend!

Not much to report other than food, fun, friends, shopping, nails, plus a little swimming and running. What a blast, just girls, no husbands, no kids. Just shopping, eating out and sleeping in! What a treat. Always sad when it ends but looking forward to hubs coming back home too.


How else you going to sober up? Shoe shopping, duh!


Do you think this is part of any Eating Clean diet? Probably not but I do love me some tequila!


Yep, the evening ended in t-shirts, glasses at the bar in my living room. Doesn't everyone have a bar in their living room!? They SHOULD. Yes, after dinner, 18 baskets of chips and a pitcher of margarita's it was time for some more...after I get these stinkin tight pants off and get me somethin' with elastic on for crying out loud.

We had a time and a half! Now, it's time to get back to reality, laundry, swim, run, dinner. It IS always nice to escape for a minute or two.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Friday Mind Dump and hideous pictures of ME!

  • You don't deserve respect, you earn respect.
  • Why do people wash their cars at the do-it-yourself car wash at 430am? They got a body in that trunk or what?
  • Back on the wagon! You should always nasal douche, you feel very clean on the inside.
  • Pollen sucks!
  • I can't wait until I can ride a bike regularly without having to dodge thunderstorms.
  • Up next...the most unflattering pictures of me on the planet from the 5K swim in Miami (race report here)...get ready and don't barf already....

This is actually a before picture. Fine looks like me standing like a guy. That's a fine Speedo picture that I can live with.


Who the hell let the snaggle tooth biatch in!? Seriously, I look like I've been through the wringer. At this point, I had, but you can really see it on my face. Sheesh.


Busting out a baby sized smile but you can see where my goggles were all jacked up and I had to smash them into my eye sockets for crying out loud.

Dear gawd, I'm glad I got that out of my system. Yeah, I have no shame. I hate all of you who look all perrrrty coming out of the water and stuff. Ever see the chicks that go in with full make up and they come out with...full make up!?! WTF?

Thursday, May 14, 2009

The ick

Tuesday nite, like a ton of bricks, I felt like crap. I was fine, fine, and then a switch went off, had a headache, congested and exhausted like someone zapped my ass. Wednesday, no better and then I saw a weather report - POLLEN is at it's highest point all year! Great, so what I had was not the ick just an extreme case of vaginitis, er, allergies. I thought I was going down for the count, felt like someone hit me over the head with a sledge hammer. Thankfully, not. Blasted allergies kicking my arse all over town. Time to blast out the sinuses with some saline. I like to call it the nasal douche. Force some saline mix up the schnoz and it comes out the other side. If you're lucky, you'll get a prize, a little piece of lint or string or something. Tis the season for a regular nasal douche! Bless it!

Needless to say, we'll just have to call it noWorkout Wednesday. I did, however, have the pleasure of catching Jerry Springer - how IS that still on TV? Something about transvestites and baby momma and such. Who knows. It's all an act but how can you even bother? I also saw a portion of Daisy of Love (taken after the Rock of Love Bus). I'm a trash tv fan but even I couldn't watch. Dr. Phil had a girl on there that had a severe case of ineedtoeatacheeseburger and I never made it to Ofra. What a day, aren't you glad you asked?

I got a message from Blondie that made me laugh...

The psych ward called and said someone showed up drunk, wearing a thong and riding a goat. I'm gonna come get you but this shit has to stop! I love my friends. They know how to make me laugh.

Thursday is another day....

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

An anniversary gift, a bike ride and the old man walkin farts

First let me just say that my 10 year wedding anniversary gift finally arrived. Many coworkers and friends said nice things like - oh, this is kinda a big one, I bet you get something nice...some jewelry or something. I nodded politely knowing that this would virtually never happen. I really don't care so much about the jewelry part. I have the best wedding ring on the planet, an ironman pendant/necklace and some fake diamond earrings that suit me just fine and a nice watch. I actually thought I'd get a new bike trainer or something equally cool. Instead....
...A new car stereo with an iPod jack and everything. Ahhh! I love music and today's selection was Jack White. My car is a stripped down Vibe that I love, stick shift and all. Now, real music with real speakers in that cavern of a car. I love my new diamonds!
Thanks RH for my killer present!

Monday eve, we took advantage of the killer weather since the soggy is set to return. Here are some pics from our nite ride. It was uneventful (thankfully). This time I took my camera in hopes of seeing a wild dingo or feral pig but no kinda luck this time. Just us, the country side and maybe only one or two mad motorists. There's always one, even on a good day.

Moots custom for the big guy and my Bianchi - can you say p-i-m-p?

Who's the a-hole in the middle with foggy glasses?


Thee hostess with the mostess(es)...they fed us when it was over!

Ryan and Carolyn - good times!

My dog, Kasha, the oolllld Boxer, was walking up the steps the other day with a severe case of the old man walking farts. As she was (slowly) making her way up, every time she put pressure on her pucker string, she farted. She farted with each step. I felt like the kid that got busted by grandma because half way up, she stopped, looked at me, shot me the devil eye, like - I'm old, effe you, I can do what I want and I have gas right now. And with her next step, she farted....again!

Monday, May 11, 2009

An 'incidental triathlon'

Totals for the week of 5/3/09 - they're not terribly impressive so try to contain yourself...

Swim - x3 - 9500 meters - about half as much as a month ago!
Bike - x2 - 50 miles
Run x 3 - 12 miles
Weights x2 - a gagillion lbs to keep up my killer guns - no, not really.

While, it's not a lot in the big scheme, I'm working on speed and building my run base back up. I'm pretty happy with the 'turn out' in terms of effort and speed.

Saturday I planned on an indoor aquathon. After my skipped swim on Friday morning (see previous post), I'm keen on making it up. Pack a bag, go to the pool, get in some metres (for all my Canadian friends) and change into some run clothes for the SUCKMILL. I haaate that thing but it was the only way it was going to happen - it's just plain old soggy around here. BUT, when I saw an angel fly out of the guys butt in front of me, I knew something grrreat was going to happen....once again, I get a message - we have a window, dry in about an hour. I turn up the suckmill pace so I can get in a fast 3 miler and get home to ride. My aquathon turned triathlon as I got home and changed clothes for our ride. 'Round these parts, you got to take the opportunities when they present themselves. You can't have a nice workout plan all laid out in front of you. You have to seize every outdoor moment possible while dodging rain, thunderstorms and tornadoes.

At the half way mark of our ride, Ryan yells back - what's our average? (He's a minimalist on the bike, no computer, no HRM, nothing other than a repair kit). I yell - 20.2mph. He yells - oh shit! Yep, the wind had been at our back and we were (happily) taking advantage of it. You know how this story ends, as we turn into the headwind, blasted! The kicker, five miles from home I yell - I'm spent, you gotta pull me home and we better make 18mph or I'm gonna be pissed. Now get me up this hill! The hill climbing machine pulled me up and got me, er, us home right on que. Kicked my arse but it was the good kind.

In other news...
Not so funny mom stories for Monday
Mother's Day is hard. I don't have a mom any longer and I'm not a mom. Mostly, I just try to let the day pass. The kid at the drug store says - happy mother's day. I almost said, EFFE you, without even thinking. You'd think I'd be used to it by now but I'm not. I woke up on mother's day in a bitter mood. I was a little mean to RH but I think he understands why I was being a crank. Usually on mother's day, I race or it's a race weekend. It allows me to run away from my bitterness, anger and sadness. I can race, play and pretend I'm on vacation away from the reality. This year, it was not to be. You can't escape all the time. You'd think that after 10 years, I wouldn't be so mad but I am. Mad that I had to shop for a wedding dress by myself, mad that I feel like I have to run away on Mother's Day, mad that I can't get a big, squishy mom hug, mad that, well, just mad and sad that she's not here. She would have liked to go to brunch today too. I'm not usually a bitter or mad type of person, sorry to be a downer. Sometimes, it just blows. We still had more stuff to do. Love you mom!




Saturday, May 9, 2009

Friday swim, maybe not!

This is me going to swim class....you can see the bathing suit and swim bag, can't you? And yes, I drink coffee out of my Ironman mug almost every day to remind myself that I actually did that (most of the time, I don't believe it either). Plus, it's like a bucket of coffee. I just say, I had two cups, uh, that's like three cups of coffee per Ironman sized mug for crying out loud.
I look very motivated, don't I!?! At this point I had already decided NOT to actually get up (didn't work), turn off the alarm clock, reset it when I heard the roll of thunder in the background. Ahhh, another hour of sleep. I can swim some other time and I want to sleep NOW. As I started to snuggle back up under the covers I hear Magnus running down the steps. I know what's going on, he's puking and I'm laying here trying to ignore it figuring that I'll clean it up later. After a few minutes and he doesn't come back up, I go downstairs to find his prize puke. I won't even tell you what it was but THAT, my friends, is one nasty animal. AND WHY do they barf in the corner, always? Weird. OK, fine, clean up puke, well, the coffee maker went off at 4am in prep for 5am swim class, fine, I'll drink coffee and go lift weights upstairs. I flip on the tv and this is what I see on the local weather....

Lightening and storms everywheres! Boom, yep, it's storming out. I know I've asked this question before and I'll ask it again - why, why do they interview or have people call in to the tv station to report what the weather is like 'where you are?' ONLY the biggest rednecks are going to call in, are you kidding me? They love to hear themselves on TV. I hear - it's raining sideways here and the electricity in the trailer went out. It's real loud here. No SH!@ you live in a tin can, of course it's loud. But I digress.

So, I made it as far as my killer in-home gym - one physio ball, some hand weights and some steps for lunging and what-not. Eh, it's all good. I still have two whole days to get in four more workouts. Piece of cake IF the tornado doesn't kill me in my tin can.

Best of luck to all my Gulf Coast peeps out there racing on Saturday. Weather is looking to be stellar for you.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Which uniform is worse?

Triathletes, swimmers and cyclists have the worst uniforms on the planet, or so I thought. Seriously, who would have ever thought I'd happily parade around in a grown up diaper, run through the neighborhood in a Speedo or look like a conehead at the pool? Well, we have taken a poll and there is one uniform that is worse...

Here is a short exchange with a friend the other nite. Background - I was in my car turning into the pool and I saw him cooling down in the parking lot across the street. Speed skater.


I just saw you over over there...HI!!!

In my killer outfit? Yikes.

No worse than a bike kit, I don't think! C'mon, I hang with guys in banana hammocks and goggles! (...and they all don't look like THIS, my friend. )

Hahaha.
While it's OK to draft a guy on a bike, guy on guy, a speed skater is drafting hand on arse ... suffice it to say, you better be very competitive and very secure in your manhood to draft during speed skating training or races. You are up close and personal with the arse in front of you! Oh, and if there is any question, speed skating is NOT on my list of things to do. Seriously, I'd kill my self or break myself into a gagillion pieces for sure.

One day is great and another, you fall apart. Wednesday nite run was great, felt speedy and light, pushed it hard. Thursday nite - I should have opted to ride but the lawn was in dire straights. Mow + another attempt at running back to back nites was a baaad idea. The legs were like lead and I could hear Kate Bush singing in my head - running up that hill....I wanted to slap the biatch.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

S/B/R and a little Sonic for everyone

Well, well, well, what do we have here? Oh, that's right triathlon, how I've missed you so. All that swim training burned me OUT big time. I don't know how you runners do it, honestly and truly. To run for so many days in a week - I used to do it but I've got the great mix up going on these days. My body rejected running 5-6 days/week for marathon training. I guess I don't love running, biking, or swimming THAT much afterall. I mean, I like them all a whole lot for different reasons just not any one of them enough, I guess. Hard to explain I suppose. I guess it would also be different if I was really great at any of them.

Have you ever had a bike hangover? I woke up Wednesday and it felt like I drank 10 beers. I was slightly dehydrated and my head was throbbing. I guess that's what I get for riding so late on Tuesday nite and then hitting the bed almost immediately afterward. I didn't fall asleep either, I passed out. Lots of similarities with 10 beers and a late nite bike ride. Ouch, they both hurt. At least I didn't barf on my shoes.

So far this week - lift/core, one swim, one bike, one run. Had an aquathon on Wednesday nite, swam for about an hour and then rolled out a baby sized three mile run. It was great all except for our dysfunctional lane at swim. We all had our heads up our arses and didn't know what set was next - AND IT WAS ON THE PIECE OF PAPER for crying out loud. Oh well, we were a bunch of happy misfits, I 'spose.

Then, the run...this is pre-run, of course...

I am way to happy about the prospect. And this is after...I'm happy to be getting some running legs back under me. This was a baby three miler. I've never been a super speedster so I'm very happy with this. I'll take it.


After all those good times I got thee call - where are you? Almost home. I have a sweet tooth. Commence U turn. How about a Blizzard thingy? Done deal. See you in a few. Well, I couldn't leave with out something for everyone...(except for myself, blasted!).


She's just old and is happy to eat her treat laying down!

I love the spit bubble! He's thrilled about his good fortune.



Thanks to everyone about the B2B wishes. We won't have just virtual stalking any longer. We can actually see something other than a thumbnail picture!

IronMissy - it's official!

IronMissy - it's official!
A vision in green!