Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Recap - how to go bikini shopping...
Take a friend who is as anxious about it as you are. (This is us the day after Ironman at a bar...I think you can still see the pain in our faces. We had that same look bikini shopping. AND I don't think we've taken off our Ironman visors since.)
Cocktails before and after - helps to ease the pain.
Upsize, get over the mental block and upsize - at least your crack won't show AND it won't cut into the backfat as badly. Pretty picture.
In workout news...
It was a recovery week and I am a huge fan. I've got one more swim to go that will put me in the 12-14,000 meter range for the week. Woohoo. Ever have a breakthrough moment - where something isn't as hard as it used to be? You're running or riding along and what was killer hard just dropped on the scale of difficulty? That was me and pulling with paddles - MAJOR suckitude. I could get lapped on a 300, no joke. One sprained ankle, causing me to pull for full workout sets, seems to have corrected that problem. The boyz were tired on Friday morning (all that Ironman training catching up) so coach Dee whispers in my ear - let's play a game - SHEIT, Dee is a machine with paddles.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
My friend and coach (triswami) did this 24 Hour Triathlon last year as a team. When looking for the next big challenge, I wanted to come up with something new. This year being a 'lean one'...and I mean money not me because we ALL know that fat floats...I'm embarking on some longerish distance open water swims. A 5K coming up and a 4.5 miler in June. That leaves a huge hole for 2010. As everyone knows, you better have your Ironman plan in place a year ahead of time or you're not getting into the race. I'm actually afraid to do another Ironman...I just don't know if I can a) top it b) improve or c) capture THAT feeling again. Sooo, when I heard about this 24 Hour thing, I started asking questions. Quite frankly, the part that sold me, you get to sleep with your bike in transition. Seriously, I've been looking for that excuse for years. Anyway, you can do this thing as part of a team or solo event. For some totally unknown reason, I think that solo would be crazy good. People have been posting, commenting and asking questions on how to train for such a thing...
Basically, it's a sprint that you keep on doing, over and over again. There are blackout times for the swim, no swimming at nite. Otherwise, wide open. You don't have to do the events in order, other than the first swim/bike/run (I believe). You have to go through one sprint and then it's swim, swim, swim, swim some more and swim THEN get moving on the bike/run part. It all boils down to strategy and if you planned your time properly...oh yeah and how hard can you actually work when you're falling asleep. I'm a total sleep whore too. At 24 hours, it's how many collective 'triathlons' you have finished. If you've done 12 swims, 14 bikes and only 11 runs - you only get credit for 11 'triathlons.' That's your final score. ...all of this is from reading their website. I'm sure there's a shitload more to it than that! Like, how and when do you sleep? What about support? Unlike a traditional event, I think you can have support. All questions to be answered. So, if anyone is up for a weekend workout of riding at 2am and then going for a run at, say, 4am and then jump in the pool at 5am, just holler....I don't actually believe I'll get any takers for that one. Just have to have Ryan track my ass with a GPS to make sure I didn't snuggle up in the shrubs somewhere for a nap!
Ever have to answer the question, "Why do you do this?" I said Ironman and he said - why? Well, first he said, holy shit, how long is that? Yep 140.6 miles. Why, he asked? I HATE that question because I never have a good answer. I'm not doing it for a cause or to raise awareness about anything...other than I'm a bad ass mofer bitches! Seriously, my answer to him, "Because I can, whyNOT?"
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Monday was a day off and I was thankful for that. Errands, pulling weeds and the MOST HATED JOB IN THE HOUSE...picking up the yard, yep, picking up poop after two large dawgs. How do YOU know it's time to mow the lawn? How do YOU know when it's long or thick enough? Yeah, you go out to pick up the dayum yard and YOU CAN'T FIND A TURD. They've all fallen or are buried in the grass. I'm such a slack ass that I didn't bother to mow. I just picked up the two turds I could find and called that a chore well done. I know there is NO freakin way there's only two turds out there...my dogs shit more than Diana and her cranky gall bladder (which is, thankfully, all fixed now).
Tuesday - some 5:00am swimming or more like 5:15 because I just can't seem to get there quite on time. Maybe a ride and some running in the afternoon, we'll see what the weather holds...I hear it might be perfect to mow the lawn BARF! That's not fun.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Week in review - four swims (~12,000 meters), two rides that weren't blazing fast but got me some good, hilly leg work and three, count em, three runs. I'm on a roll now, baby! Ever have those times where you're just not feeling it? I had one of those swims on Saturday. I couldn't hit an interval to save my life. After beating myself up over it, I decided to still do the workout but not worry about my intervals. I think when you get over that mental part, sometimes, everything comes together. ...there wasn't even a little girl to point out my locker room indiscretions this time. Spring break around these parts.
Race news - a few have signed up for IM St. George. After thinking about it for ~30 seconds, I decided to forge on with my 24 Hour Triathlon plan for next year. Ryan rolled his eyes but didn't say that's the dumbEST thing I've ever heard - or anything like that. Sounds like I'm in;) I've also found another Open Water Swim in June that's local. A 4.5ish mile swim...downstream. HELL-O, downstream, yep, sounds good to me.
Let's hear it for Michigan State! Woot, woot! I've watched an entire five minutes of basketball - not a huge basketball fan but I love me Spartans! We were always in the shadows of those dayum Wolverines.
Hope it was nice were you were this weekend. There was just no sense in being inside ... or on a computer. These are the days you wish for when it's 95 and 95% humidity.
Friday, March 20, 2009
I know I need a dayum style intervention on a good day. I look like I dress out of a duffel bag - Ryan calls me a duffel bag - it's because I mostly DO live out of a duffel bag. Oh hell, I so don't even care...maybe a tiny bit. BUT when I see something at Ann Taylor (or whatever), it's like, what else could I do with this $100? Then I buy some compression sox and sports bra instead. So, I dress like a duffel bag BUT here...I caught sight of myself before I walked out the door and I scared ME. I like compression sox for those days when it's a little cool and I need to protect my shins. My shoes are Filas and shiny green, throw in some 10 year old running shorts and a race shirt from a year ago and you got 1984!!! All that's missing is some big hair by me.
I DID go out and run like this and I'm certain the teenage boys driving by on their way home from school said - WTF was that?!? I never said I was cool. I got in four miles, count em, four - longest run since theincidentthatweshallnotspeakofhere - miles. They weren't fast but they're in the books baby. I'm breaking that two a week running streak, I can feel it. Two runs in the books, two swims, one bike - that leaves another run, another ride and two more swims. WTF am I training for again? Old habits die hard, guess I'm having Ironman sympathy pains for my friends.
Thanks for all that said they would vote for me for the Mule Day Queen. I think I'm about 20 years too late. Maybe we'll have an Ass King and Queen contest of our very own!
My oldest dog is really old, 12 year old Boxer. If she makes it through the year, I'd be surprised. It's hard watching them get old. You love them like crazy. She's just a slow movin these days and takes 30 minutes to take a crap. You can't be in a hurry to get anywhere these days OR you need to seriously plan ahead. At least SHE doesn't scoot across my floor and leave dingle berries!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
In Southern News....
Seeing a donkey, mule, whatever, not totally uncommon. Seeing a guy on his ATV walking his donkey, very UNCOMMON. I was driving down the interstate and looked over a side road that runs parallel. I see a guy on an ATV and I look back and I see a donkey tied to the back. Just a guy and his ass out for a walk. Only in TN, I swear! Coming to Columbia, TN in April...it's Mule Days. YES, they have a Mule Day Queen and if I weren't too daym old, I'd try to get that freakin crown. Oh, to be a Mule Day Queen.
P.S. Open registration for Ironman St. George is now open if anyone is interested. May 1, 2010 - plenty of time to train...you can do it and I can cheer for you!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
OK, I love, love, love my dogs. They've got more personality than some people I know. Magnus is a total beta dog - he doesn't give a crap about anything OTHER THAN where you are (loves you more if you're salty). He just wants to be with near you, loves kids, babies, old people, every color people, every language speaking people, just a happy guy that defers to the Queen of the House (Kasha), the alpha in this pack of two. ANYWAY, he's looking at me while I'm blogging and I watch him scoot his ass across the carpet. OK, everyone has an itchy butt once in a while but this nasty ass dog left a skid mark. Yep, turned around to investigate his new work of art on my carpet and was one step away from licking it, I'm sure. They both think rabbit turds are freakin filet mignon so I'm certain he was about to have a sample. For the love of a dog, I swear! (Don't worry, this is a picture from a run when Magnus and I found a lucky dollar...he didn't just get done eating a turd and then lick my face..this time.)
I had no idea that I had the ability to incite a riot with one word...Walmart. AHHHH!!! OK, seriously, would anyone other than some gigantic redneck shop there unless they had to, really? NO, did I enjoy my trip there, NO and except for really great stories, I don't know what else I gained. Oh yeah, money. Do you think I like to contribute to the gross national product of China by shopping at Walmart? NO. Do you think I would by from a local all organic farmer if I could? YES. Guess what, I'm a filet mignon girl living in a chuck roast kind of world right now. Have you seen my pissy race schedule? Probably not because other than the daym 5K swim I'M NOT DOING MUCH ELSE. Whilst I might drivel about useless shit frequently, I'll say this - I actually am an engineer, yep, believe it. I can do math and everything. I'm actually an engineer that has some semblance of social skills (if you like raunchy humor and still think a fart joke is freakin hilarious). I work in the automotive industry. Another topper for ya, I'm also a small business owner. Combine all that and what do you get - a smaller than I'd like to be budget. Believe me, it is with pain in my heart that I had to and will go back to Wallyworld. I actually only buy that which is of the same value = price + coupons vs. quantity. I don't have any delusions that I'm getting some great quality anything there. When all of this is over and I (hopefully) still have a pot to pee in, I will NOT be shopping at Wallyworld and back to my beloved Publix where the people are nice and I don't feel all dirty when I leave.
Monday, March 16, 2009
In workout news...
Swim - believe it 12,000 yards and feeling good. I actually look forward to going to the pool, gasp. It is a total pain in the ass because you have to drive there, drive home, lots of travel going on for that one.
Cycling - I graduated from our cycling class of 10 weeks. I did learn some new stuff, jump started my riding for the year and reinforced something I already knew...I'm not an explosive kind of rider. Show me a long course/sustained effort and I'm totally in, show me some hills and I wither like a tulip in March. So....decided that hill work was in order on Sunday...right before swim. WTF was I thinking? I haven't workout this hard and for this damn long in a year. Angie was still sleeping when we arrived (in her defense, she had to work late last nite and then we pull out onto the hills of hell). Needless to say, the ride was just what we needed to kick are arses in gear.
This was Ryan's reaction (huh?) when I said - hey, thanks for cleaning all the worm guts off my bike this afternoon. That's really nice of you to offer...yeah, worm guts in the gears and everything. It's the worst I've ever seen. ...and yes, for all you bike geeks out there, I run Campy components on my road and TT bike. They rock it!
Running - still pathetic and it's my own fault. That two times/week isn't going to get me anywhere. Guess I just have other priorities right now.
PT - Graduated from that too - Dr. PTIhaveangelsflyingoutmybutt said - there's not really anything else I can do for you other than what you can do on your own. Really, what about this pain here and twinge there? It was a sad day. Good bye nice office people have fun with your 800lber who just had knee replacement and your workman's comp case that will end on day 29...that would be the day before benefits end and there's a miracle...no more pain. Ah, oh well, can't draw it out any longer. We all must break up sometime.
Friday, March 13, 2009
After I cap off the week on Sunday, I'll be at ~12,000 - not quite the same as last week but life got in the way this time around. No worries. I'm good with it. Friday morning at 5am (barf), I got to swim with the big boys in Lane 1. I was very happy with my graduation until I had the grand realization it was just to even out some of the lanes. Aw hell. Someday! I only got lapped twice on two of the longer sets. Those 'kids' do a 1:20-1:35ish/100 Meters for crying out loud against my measly 1:45/100M. Damn it all to hell. On the bright side - I had to work harder to keep up (read: not get lapped, no real chance of keeping up) and I got to watch them underwater for tips. Ever look at someone and it just looks like they're not even working hard and you're just trying your damndest to hang on?! It can be very frustrating OR you can learn something. I'm just trying to learn 'something.' At least it's not like a bike ride when you get dropped, you're lost for days....
Dude showed up to swim on Friday with a bathing suit so threadbare that I saw nizuts. An arse is one thing but ....? I did NOT sign up for that, old man, and don't need the full frontal of your sad and withered package but thanks for the offer. I've never seen him before in my life so telling him to buy a new suit was out of the question. Maybe next week.
Yeah, stellar bike riding is once/week in my training class. Feeling improvement but can't seem to get my arse on the trainer at home. Gee, wonder why...can you say BORING!?!
I can't seem to break the barrier of more than 2x/week. With swimming every moment (it seems), getting in just a little baby run seems like a huge challenge. How the hell did I train for Ironman....I ask this question of myself regularly. I already know the answer....I wasn't EVER home before 8:30pm unless to pick up a bike.
Said I wouldn't watch Biggest Loser any longer after the marathon deal...I lied. Sue me. BIG draaaama last week. Too many people cryin' on that show all the time, though. OH, and big daddy, that looks like he's been nursing puppies is totally running that show. Don't let that nice, soft smooth (yet hairy) exterior fool you.
Sam's Club - the upgrade from WalMart but not as bad as previous Sam's Club experiences, as you may have read - All checked out, walking to the door, show the lady my receipt and she says...
I look at her with a retarded look on my face, I'm sure.
Thanks, I said and walked out the door and busted out laughing.
I'm not sure what the Good Job was for...did I buy the right kind of foods (beer, avocados, tomatoes, tortilla chips, PineSol and laundry detergent)? Good Job, not sure about that. She was probably a teacher in a former life and that's her big closer.
Bikinis - Thanks for all the positive, yet perverted, feedback regarding a bikini. I'm going to go for it. Since a)I'm a cheap ass and b)It will be worn once in Miami because nobody knows me there, it's gotta be cheap-o. We'll let you know what kind of bikinis they have at WalMart. Hahahaha.
I've totally found my Halloween Costume...does this chick rock or what!? I love it. Wish I had the chance to wear it sooner.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Ever hear your favorite song or group on a random radio station and that just makes you happy? I mean, you have it on your iPod and can que it at anytime but you hear it on the radio and it just makes your day. It's like a little surprise. Yep, Shakedown Street (disco didn't escape them either) by the Grateful Dead yesterday on my way into work and it just made me happy....and jam out in my car. Thank GAWD for tinted windows!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
14315 Meters OR 15655 yards - I'll split the difference with you! I say, goal achieved. My last swim of the week was a 5,000 meter swim. It almost killed me...BUT it didn't and I'm alive. I could almost lift my arms to wash my hair in the end. Which takes me to the locker room. Everyone loves a locker room story...
I'm done swimming, showering, busy drying all my parts and putting some lotion on - I've turned into a total lizard. Anyway, this chubby little girl comes in and is washing her hands. She's kind of looking at me, seems like she wants to talk so I say -
Are you getting ready to go swimming today (duh, she's in a suit)?
Well that will be fun, it's pretty nice (I proceed to put my clothes on).
At this point, I can see her eyes and realize that she's probably a special needs child. I later learned that late Saturday mornings is when the special needs kids have their swim team practice.
(She stops and points at me.)
You forgot your underwear!
Yes, I did. It'll be OK, though. Just this one time (ha, likely story).
(She stops and points at me - again.)
You forgot your underwear!
Yes, sweetie, it'll be OK. Have fun swimming (I hurry out so the girl doesn't run to her mother and start to point).
I think I scarred the poor girl for life. I'm certain she'll be telling her mom about the lady who FORGOT HER UNDERWEAR. God Bless those children and their parents too. I'm sure it's not an easy road. That little girl DID give me my giggle for the day. Often times, they just say it like it is without regard. Sometimes, it's just better that way, I think.
Getting my run on, kinda - work has been getting in my way. Trying to dial up the frequency at this point. Doc says OK so I'm going for it. It's time...
Friday, March 6, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Shout to my coach, triswami who not ONLY got me up to and through Ironman Florida, he also participated in the Ironman Bucket List activities that included this stop some months ago for some bad ass cheeseburgers. Now, I suppose, I can call him a friend because he doesn't charge me for each email I send...I kid, I kid. I didn't think I needed a coach and figured I could 'do it on my own.' Retrospect - no way, not with the result that I had for being an Ironman virgin at the time. I would have made it, sure, but not like that. Now, I have to suffer with him at swim in his teeny weenie bikini...anything smaller would be a thong. If you see us streaking through your neighborhood in our speedos, please stop to say HI, don't just laugh and point!
Triswami and Missy
Here is a really funny, real live email I received from a friend the other day...
I had to tell someone and you understand snot.
I just sneezed and launched a massive wad of snot into my hair. There is no way to get all of that shit out of there....guess I'll be like the weird kid in school who has boogers on every finger, crust all in the face and hair and her skirt tucked into her underwear.
I was in a meeting when I received this email on my Booberry. Of course, I read it, snorted, only to attract attention to the fact that I was doing something else. I love my friends and I'm so proud and happy to know that I am the one they think of when they blow boogers everywhere. It's great to be loved...and known as someone who understands snot!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
2005 - Some race I don't remember the name of and before I started on this tri thing. Wow, it was less than four years ago. I look way to happy about it....my coach today says that's cuz you didn't work hard enough. Damn it all, he's only happy if I'm puking on my shoes or peeing on myself (I mean that...isn't that a nice bodily reaction to hard work)?
The 5K - For me, this is the scariest of all distances and I'm not kidding. I'm not explosive and I'm no sprinter. It's like I have this total block, this pace my body adjusts to and it won't go any lower. I really want to see a 5K in the 'teens someday but I don't know if that will ever be in the cards for me...I got about 3 minutes I need to find and that's a lot of time for 3.1 little miles.
The Sprint Run Tri - Usually 5K - 4 Milesish - I don't like this one either for the same reason. Those freaks are running so fast...I see 5-6 minute miles and it makes me puke, bastards.
Score: Tie, hate both runs
The 10K - Better than a 5K but NOT by much. This is still a bunch of damn sprinters in my book.
The Olympic Distance Tri - 10K - This one will get points because I can almost hang onto my regular 10K times. This is also when 'general population' starts to crack which is good...for me.
Score: Tie, like them both and don't terribly suck...for regular folk
The Half Marathon - My favorite run distance of all. I feel like it's a challenge but it's 'reasonable.' I don't have to train myself to death to get there and I'm a decent pacer. Even without my new Garmin (and Garmintard abilities), I've always been able to pick a pace and hold it pretty close. Since I'm good about not shooting my wad at the start, I just lerve to pass all those 'guys' at about mile 7-8 who just cashed in their chips. Is there anything better, really? Suckerrrrs. The thing is, they never learn either.
The Half Ironman - Again, I can hang with regular folk, pick a gear and stick with it BUT by this time, I AM getting tired and most likely, horribly chafed. The last HIM I did (see Firey Pee Video Post) I was so wet and chafed that I did actually have issues just running the last three miles or so. It was the physical pain of my skin rubbing off that got to me.
Score: Half Marathon takes this one! Now, if I can just find that 1:45 I've been looking for - BLASTED!The Marathon - I've only ever done two. I was training for a third when I injured myself in training and gave up 'marathons', as it were. I liked them and the feeling of accomplishment was really great. The training is what got to me the most, all that running! Seriously, sounds dumb but running 5-6 days week mentally and physically got to me. Kudos to anyone who can hang like that fo sho! I toy with the idea these days but I don't let it go too far...I think my expectations have changed too much.
The Ironman Marathon - I've done ONE! I don't know if I can say that I loved it but I was most happy with how it turned out. I didn't win a prize but my 4:40 run split was all I could ever have hoped for. The only miles I hated were 18-21 (same as an individual marathon). Once I hit the 20's, I was totally stoked and just moving forward towards the light.
Score: Ironman Marathon has to take this one. I really thought I'd cry but I was just way too pumped about it.
Sooo, in the run category tri vs. solo, we have a tie 5K and 10K are a wash, 13.1 RUN WINS and 26.2 Triathlon WINS. There it is. Besides all the health benefits and shiz, running is the most convenient for me and probably most people. There's a smaller amount of gear and I don't have to drive somewhere (the pool) to do it. My favorite running gear - a speedo one piece bathing suit, shoes, socks and a visor...it really freaks out the people in the park and I just don't care of all my junk is hanging out the back. I like the 'freeness' of it and the way it holds my gut in;) AND you might even have a few friends 'join you' - got to check behind!