Magnetic Support Ribbons and a Major Meltdown

I swear to you I saw this on a truck on my way home from work. I was sitting behind him thinking - Support Radiohead...that just doesn't make sense, I think they're making enough money! Then, I busted out laughing, yep, this redneck had Support Road Head on his truck. That is a sure way to get the laaadies. Kinda like the guy with the Big Johnson T-Shirt, oh yeah, very hooot.

Can you say MELTDOWN? Apparently, I was 'due' for my quarterly meltdown. Ever try to do a simple task that you've done a gazillion times and you can't? I mean I was just trying to swap my wheels and get on the trainer. I seriously could NOT get the wheel on. After much frustration, yelling, and crying...the dogs tried to 'save me.' I think they were scared. I finally quit because I was going to: a) break something b) throw my bike through the big screen tv c) jump out the window (kidding, kidding). I call husband crying ... like he can do something while he's in the car...he asks if I'm sick - no, but I HAVE been screaming a lot. It only took one effen wheel for me to determine that my world was crashing down around me. Somehow, this wheel set me off and that was it, I was inconsolable.

On a lighter note...Marcy commented the other day about my 'vag thing.' I think I told her that my vag thing is perfectly fine and thanks for asking. She's nice, clean, happy but I'm not feeding her soy products or anything. I almost died, while I knew she meant my veg thing....the vag thing was priceless and veggies will forever be known as vags. So, for everyone out there going for the vag challenge, be careful. Your wife/girlfriend might kill you if you tell her you're on the vag challenge! ...BUT you can always say, yeah, I'm a vagatarian. The vag, er, veg challenge is almost coming to a close. I'm still totally OK with everything and may, read MAY extend it! I didn't do it for weight loss, ethical reasons, other than just to see if I could do it. I wasn't militant and didn't ask if my fake sausage patty was cooked next to a pig patty or anything like that. For all I know the same hands that made the mighty meaty pizza made my veggie pizza and I'm OK with that. Some folks frrreak out on that stuff. I didn't eat caesar salad dressing one day on the chance there were anchovies or anchovy paste in the dressing - that was as 'militant' as I got. If NOTHING else, I learned a ton. I learned how to cook tofu without it tasting or looking like a pile of shiz. I learned that I even like tofu cold in some mixed veg's. If I plan better, I eat better. I learned that I don't have to go out to eat everyday for lunch (but I like to). I learned that Logan's really doesn't have any good veg options so I can see where a true vegan/vegetarian would skip out on these steakhouse or meat and three meals. That's just difficult...even salads around here all have bacon on them and what's a green bean unless it's cooked in fatback? Look it up if you don't know what it is. It is what you think it is and it's from a pig. Ick!

Swim, swam, swum ~3000 this morning. A pool at 5am is just wrong. I wasn't remotely awake before we were drilling, swimming, kicking and finished her off with the fastest 5x100's you can hold. I held 1:30 for three of them and then fell off the wagon. There's something about tunnel vision and seeing stars in the water that freaks me out a little. Ride bikes tomorrow and football on Sunday, how sad, football is over for another year.

Swimming and the Band Thief

I had to giggle when I read Marit's post about an article she ran across regarding bands on your paddles from Excel Aquatics. I laughed because I swim with the Excel Triathletes and Masters team. Well, our coach is so vigilant in removing all but the 'finger band' that she will pull them off your paddles while you're swimming-doing some other exercise. I heard a couple of folks in her office afterwards were begging for them back. Well, here's what her band collection looks like today. I'm sure it will grow! Bands = poor form, she says. I don't know but I still get lapped by the big guys. So damn strong.

So there it was. We did ~3000 last nite, not a ton but not bad. 5K, 5K, 5K, Miami Open Water Swim. I got some work to do, that's for sure. Mr. PT says I'm getting better but no running...boooo. I can kick and push of the wall and ride a bike. Now, if it'll just warm up. I don't care WHAT is on TV, I hate the trainer, borrrring.

Vegetarian Challenge - day 5 - All I can say is you better plan for your your meals and don't let them happen to you. I am still on track but had some random shiz that didn't really go together last nite...can't just make a turkey sandwich right now. I'm happy with everything so far and I've learned a ton. I know it's only day 5 but I'm not really craving anything EXCEPT for fish. For some reason, I'm dying for fish tacos and sushi. Maybe the lead is low in my diet or something! I can even deal with fake sausage. I do LIKE the fact that I'm not biting into a piece of gristle or hard nugget. Once that happens, I'm out, sausage, burger, whatever. Gives me the creeps. I might even be able to do the vegan thing at some point but in my humble opinion, cheese trumps everything. I could die from a cheese withdrawal and don't even talk to me about soy cheese. Chocolate soy milk, OK, soy cheese or vegan 'butter' - I think NOT!

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday!

Chocolate covered bacon dreams...

Forilla baby, chocolate covered bacon...you know that the bacon is thee best part of the pig! I don't care who you are. Can you really tell I'm in the second day of vegetarian challenge week?!? Look what I found....

Day Two - Vegetarian Challenge Week

Breakfast - whole wheat tortilla, egg whites, dog food replacement sausage soy product (see below) wrapped up nicely and eaten on the road, oh yeah, coffee, must have.

Lunch - whole wheat pita, chic pea spread stuff that I made myself, cucumber salad and Amy's butternut squash soup (love it).

Snacks - two pieces of string cheese and a yogurt

Dinner - asparagus, red onion, tofu (the key with tofu is baking it first to get the funky out, kind of like soaking fish in milk before cooking to get the fishy out, maybe my mom was the only one that did that?), crushed red pepper, fresh lemon juice.

Results: Totally satisfied, not hungry and not that stuffed to the gills I can't eat another bite feeling, but full. I liked everything I had. I'm getting used to tofu but I'm convinced that you've got to bake it before you can actually use it as a main ingredient in a stir fry or something.

Now I love asparagus BUT I was actually scared when I looked at my plate full of the stuff...I will drive everyone out of the house if I just eat plates of asparagus. I tell you, I can eat asparagus soup and have the same affect....don't even tell me you don't know what I'm talking about (it has nothing to do with beano or gas of any kind either)! They tell me some people don't have this 'problem' but I think they're all lying...either that or the Ph in my body is really jacked up. Anyway, just ate it so it'll take about two minutes to take affect, sheesh!
On Sunday, we had our 30 minute time trial at swim. I say TT but it's more like - what can you hold consistently for 30 minutes rather than balls to the wall. As my first day of kicking since the sprained ankle, I did 1650 meters (long course) in 30 minutes. That's no record and not the best I've ever done but I'll take it ... for now. We do this with Excel about every six weeks to measure progress and get ourselves all situated in the proper lanes/proper intervals. I got some work cut out for me if I'm going to do this 5K swim thingy on April 25. Holy crap....that's only three months. Better get busy with some water.

Day one vegetarian and my brush with fame

After MUCH research and menu planning, I headed out to the grocery - Sam's club for copious amounts of avocado, apples, bananas, eggs and Whole Foods for all else. I only shop there sometimes because I hate to pay the Whole Foods tax but where else am I going to find quality tofu? So much learning and reading and so much damn time spent in the store walking in circles because I couldn't find baked tofu (I had to bake it myself), couldn't find lara bars, you get the picture. I spent way to much time in there but as I'm checking out, I notice a pretty girl and guy behind me in line. I also noticed that an extra bagger came over to my lane to help out, not a coincidence. At Whole Foods in Franklin, TN, you are liable to run into anyone....today it was Carrie Underwood and her boyfriend of the moment??? No idea, cute, tall, dark, hat, whatever. They all live here because people just leave them alone. I didn't see one camera phone picture or autograph request. In my mind I wanted to ask her, don't you love it here because people leave you alone? Then I thought, how dumb, that's NOT leaving her alone you jack ass. Then I just told her not to steal my soup and left the store.

Today's Menu started with a Breakfast Burrito made with this stuff - it looks like dog food when you open the package. Reconstituted dog food or refried beans with sausage like seasoning in it BUT I was going to give it a chance....

Picture isn't so great but that is my dog food sausage, egg whites, black beans, salsa, cheese in a whole wheat tortilla. I have to say, thumbs up, even with the dog food like sausage product. It all tasted very good and had some resemblance to sausage.
After that, I had to figure out this tofu thing. I had a recipe for stuffed shells made with firm tofu, spices, spinach, garlic, olive oil. Except for the fact that I didn't add enough salt, it was great, very filling and creamy.

THEN, the family wanted to go out for pizza. Fine, I had pizza with mushrooms, tomatoes and banana peppers. I didn't get all militant on the pizza guy asking about the details of the sauce - I just didn't get any meat on my pizza. So, one day in the bank. I DO feel like I missed out on the pizza though, pepperoni is the shiz niz for me. All in all, a good first day. Tomorrow, some chick pea spread, cucumber salad and yogurt for lunch - that'll be the hardest, not going out to lunch with my peeps.

I was also tagged by Chloe...we share a love of triathlon and Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels, what can we say, we take our trash TV seriously. So, Five of my Fabulous Addictions are:

1. Any show where people have to come over some obstacle and HOPEFULLY come out on top - Biggest Loser (love it) and Intervention on A&E. It's all a train wreck but I can't seem to look away.
2. Dr. Pepper chapstick - I have at least five at all times so I don't have to ever go without.
3. Coke - After a hard workout, I find that there is nothing better than a cold Coca-Cola. Protein schmotein, I need some sugar damn it.
4. My Booberry (aka Blackberry) - I don't know how fabuloso that one is but I'm totally addicted...I'm that guy walking in the airport bumping in to people while I'm returning emails BUT I'm not yelling on the phone so give me a break.
5. Sleeper Peeper eyemask - it has totally become my teddy bear, I can't sleep without it OR rather, I can't sleep with even a slip of light coming in from an alarm clock or tv; gotta be pitch black. It's a very hot look.

And my five fabulous bloggers to be tagged will have to wait...I think Rock of Love Bus is on right now, got to roll...

Next challenge for 2009...

Riding - half check - once a week, hardly worth it BUT it is an ass kicking ride so...I change that to a check

Swimming - three-four times a week - two checks

Weights/Abs - three times a week - check

PT and standing on one leg exercises - three times a week...and costs the most, WTF?

So there it is, I'm feel totally lame-o. Swimming yardage hasn't been huge since I'm not kicking yet. All sets (for me) are just pulling and by the end of 2500-3000 my arms are shot and I have to get out or I'll sink. Cycling is good and I WILL do more of it this week, got the go ahead from Mr. PT. Running, still no running.


This is not my dog but I bet this will be me at the end of next week....as I work through my next challenge for 2009....


On to the next challenge for 2009 - it was #1 on the list, go vegetarian for one week. I have spent at least four hours on trying to figure this thing out. I haven't even started the challenge (to commence tomorrow) and it's pretty confusing for a non-vegetarian, like myself. I'm mostly concerned with protein sources, how to get em, how not to just eat a damn salad everyday and how am I going to pass up the smell of delicious bacon, mmmm, bacon. Anyway, did you know there's like a gazillion kinds of tofu? Baked, firm, extra firm, soft, seasoned, blah, blah, blah. I'm figuring this is going to be a good source of protein for this next week. There's only so many damn nuts I can eat. I'm not going for the full monty, er, vegan. I will use eggs, milk and cheese. I felt really great when I did my 5 a day challenge but have been a total schmuck on getting it to stick. If nothing else, I'll learn some new veggie recipes to supplement future meals.


DA moment of the week....Excel Swim 5am, leaving house at 445, driving down the interstate and feel the need to spit (head cold, won't give you the loogey details, OK I just did). I'm thinking that I really perfected my spitting skills this last year on the bike, how hard can this be. Apparently, very hard. Riding and spitting at 19mph not the same as driving and spitting at 75 mph, the wind up, the spit, bam, right down the door of my car. Damn it all to hell, it's freezing out and I don't want looge frozen on the car sooo, I wipe it off. No problem. BUT THEN, I'm walking out after swim, dressed for work, make up on, hair did, and I wind up and spit again (YES, headcold is rolling). Did you know this is not really an acceptable habit in our culture? Yeah, I do too but I wasn't even thinking about it. On a bike, on a run, snot rockets are perfectly acceptable, NOT when your dressed for work. Beware of the spitting lady leaving the pool, apologies to my unsuspecting victims.

Dr. Tri, meet Mr. PT

Who needs air bags when you got bags like these?!?! Holy crap!

Thanks for all the well wishes and now I know that my bootie has killer cleavage! With cycling shorts on under my work pants, I ventured to see Mr. PT. Talk about a soft bootie, the pants were tight but I didn't want to have to actually change clothes to get to work. Mr. PT did his ankle and knee assessment, made some measurements and then started moving me in all kinds of directions. The best was when he said - engage your core - put his hand on my soft middle, said - engage your core - again. I'm thinking (I am jerky) that if I squeeze any harder I'm going to fart AND this is so embarrassing...my soft gooey center exposed for what it is...a weak, soft, gooey center. I'm working on it. Good flexibility here, not so much here (hands on legs). The best exercise, stand on one foot, then the other, then repeat and do it while closing your eyes. I almost hit the ground like a box of rocks. Apparently, my balance with my eyes closed, not so good. Try this, I dare you. You feel drunk forrrila.

Random thoughts in no particular order...

• I LOVE the Biggest Loser, totally obsessed with it. I can watch the weigh in with heated anticipation each week (Joelle is so weak of mind it kills me). Is it wrong to eat ice cream pie while watching BL as I sit on the sofa? I kinda felt weird about it...like they were watching ME through the tv saying, why don't you try a yogurt or this stick of sugar free gum? Listen, ice cream sandwich pie, hot fudge and peanut butter chips AIN'T NO STICK OF GUM OR YOGURT...I'm here to tell ya...where to put that stick of gum.


• I hate that football is over, for all practical purposes. I don't know what I'm going to do on Sunday's...other than swim.


• Good tequila is really good. Crappy tequila is rot gut.


• Rock of Love Bus 2 kicked off two lovely ladies last week - one had a boyfriend at home (shocker) and the other was a psycho ex-porn star who stole everyone's socks...yep, socks, tube socks...coming to eBay very soon.

How to make a soft bootie look hot...

Does this bootie make my ass look big!?!

Yeah, Yeah, I know what you're thinkin'! I meant a lace up brace bootie for my ankle, ha, ha, made you look. Anyway, doctor...he will be referred to as Dr. Tri (sports med ironman dock). I wait at Dr. Tri's office in my hoootttt cycling shorts and mismatched top full well knowing he's going to need to see the legs and ankle, plus x-rays, I'm prepared. I EVEN shaved my legs since he'd be 'right there.' Then he walked in and sat down. Few pleasantries, I asked if he needed to hear my heart, no, maybe my lungs then, no, damn. Are you sure Dr. Tri, isn't everything kind of connected somehow? No, oh well, nice try. He asked the question, What happened? I pulled this rock out of my pocket and said this little rock happened, now get me better.

After going over the sprained ankle, pretty straight forward, we discussed my knee. I had some issues leading up to IM but nothing debilitating. He says - your something something in latin muscle needs to beef up and pull the kneecap in. Your knee cap is hitting the bone causing the discomfort, kneecap is tracking out. Yeah, yeah, PT, Aleve, I got it.

Then I ask about my neck that is on fire, has been for a while. Dr. Tri says - how about going in for a bike fit? Some adjustments might just get you back into the right position and alleviate the stress. I had a bike fit scheduled at my LBS, Gran Fondo, that afternoon, perfect, love those guys. Dr. Tri says - you know XXXX Bike Shop does a really good job butttt (hesitates), I really like how XXXX Bike Shop does their fits butttt (hesitates)...I look at him and said - Yeah, but that guy is a douche, total d-bag, how he's still in business, I'll never know. Yes, I said it to Dr. Tri, that guy is a douche. He is, though, what can I say. He may be the Doctor but he's just an ironman guy at heart so I didn't feel too bad. He looked at me laughed and then had that extra pause just to make sure I wasn't a total freak. At least he had a good story to take home that nite, a girl brought me a rock and called a guy a douche bag in my office today. Ha!


All said, PT to learn some new strength building moves, riding is OK, swimming, pull only, no running for another week (duh). Still haven't hardly used my new Christmas Garmin and I've got a shiny new pair of running shoes just waiting for me. I CAN'T wait.

Funny Mom Stories for Monday

This one has nothing to do with swimming, biking or running and everything to do with keeping my mind off my pending doctor's appointment this afternoon (sprained ankle, funky left knee, and jacked up neck...thanks Ironman!). Anyway, in order to keep my own memories of my mother alive, I try to pull them deep out of the bank. The next entry is probably sacrilegious and I'm going to hell for sure BUT I KNOW she would think it was funny, she was the funniest person I've ever known...She's been gone ten years.

If you've ever had someone leave you truly before their time...and I don't mean granny that was 97, you may have been sad but c'mon, she was 97, what the hell else did you want...you know what I'm talking about. It is sickening, gut wrenching, your heart feels like it's been ripped out of your chest, filet'd with a knife, salt poured on it and then placed back into your chest. You can't cry because your body is so dehydrated that you're out of tears. You could barf at any moment and you've lost 10lbs in two days because you can't eat. A Catholic 'viewing' should be outlawed, I swear - I think the damn thing lasted for three days, three more days of hell. BUT, she had enough friends to fill those days for sure. Shit, on to the funny part...

Catholic burial service with a mass. Husband and I were dating but not married, he sat next to me and Dad on the other (I'm the only kid). Communion portion of the service and Ryan says, I don't want to be the only one not 'going up there.' I just said, say Amen after the priest says something to you and stick your hand out, he did. For this, we are both going to hell, at least them Catholics will be sure we get there. We sit back down, sing song, blah, blah, Ryan leans over to me...at my mother's funeral and says, "I think Jesus Christ is stuck to the roof of my mouth." I snorted for sure and then laughed and then cried. Truly, the most appropriate thing that could have happened all day at Mom's funeral. She had to get the last laugh and I know she was 'there.' It is because of her that I can't hold in laughter...even at the most inappropriate moments.

Here's to laughter and keeping it 'light' in moments of darkness!

Brokeback Fila's

Sorry, I took this picture and could only think of Brokeback Fila's.

You get fitted for the perfect running shoe. Your gait is analyzed, your weight is taken into consideration. Elation, the perfect shoe, might be ugly BUT functionality is perrrrfect. Soft, light ride, enough cushion, no pains, no real shoe adjustment body wise. That was me yearrrs ago and, like most, been dedicated to the same shoe. Your local shoe store says - Fila is getting out of the running shoe business. I think they're feeding me a line to get me into another shoe. I start calling around. Nope, no more Fila running shoes. Your best bet is to find them online somewhere. I've been doing that for the last year. My recent search and find was at Shore Runner in New Jersey. I call them, yep, one pair, my size, $30!!! $5 bucks shipping and I'm brought back to life. I've spent $100 on these in the past so there is justice in this $30 pair of shoes. I know I'll have to brreak down sometime and get refitted but I don't want to mess with a good thing. What's even better, these shoes are screaming to be run in and I'M still sitting here with a sprained ankle, yep, still swollen...from 12/31/08! BLASTED!

Swim, football AND Rock of Love Bus, oh yeah, trash TV at its finest. I can't wait...I really can't wait to get in these new shoes. New shoes make me faster, don't they?

How to make your friends laugh while working out...

Show up like this at the pool sometime...

While doing a plank next to a friend today...keep in mind that I have no abs and start shaking immediately...I told her that farting while working out is OK, right? She hit the mat, perfect, set over!

Does this seat make my ass look big? Does it really look like my ass is actually eating this seat? Truth yes, unless your pro and weigh 52lbs, your ass is eating that teeny little seat.

Wear a chlorine ridden suit to swim class that is half see thru and just start walking around like nothing is wrong...then start asking, is this see through, OMG, I had NO idea;)

OR walk up to a guy in your swim class or at the pool and just say, hey man, I can see your ass through that suit. They'll jump in the water so damn fast that it'll crack your ass up AND then, watch them scurry to the showers at the end.

My personal favorite, goose a neighbor underwater while you're swimming by and just keep on going.

These are good tactics to make the workout more fun and make you or them or both laugh. If it's not fun anymore, it's not worth doing. I heard this a million times during Ironman training. There were a solid three weeks in there that I was Ironmad and it wasn't fun...but it all came out in the wash. I wouldn't change nothin!

The question is, what's next? Maybe a 5K swim this year and some half iron races if this ankle ever gets me running again but what's next that's BIG? I need to do more research but the 24 Hour Triathlon seems like a good idea. This might be another one of my dumb ideas but can you imagine? Talk about the mental game!? I talked to a friend that did it as a team and his words, EPIC, as a solo EPIC. The best part, you get to sleep with your bike in transition. I've been waiting for so long to hear that bike porn dreams do come true.

What are ya, NEW?!?

Sam's Club, a close second to Walmart, as far as clientele is concerned. The difference is - the people are just as stupid but they have a little bit more money so they can buy 18000 rolls of toilet paper and 14 cases of Coke to fuel their caffeine habit. When I shop, I know what I'm shopping for and I'm prepared to buy. I'm not debating the issue, get what I need and get the eff out of there. Picked up a handful of items, five avocados for $5, yep, gotta have em, a take and bake pizza, case of beer, juice, milk, eggs, and I'm at the cash register. Lady in front of me with her handful of items, stares at Sams checkout guy...

I need your card, m'am.

My what?

Your Sams Club card, I need that card.

Oh, dig, dig, dig in the never ending handbag.

Here you go. That'll be $25.17.

OK, here's my debit card.

No m'am, you need to slide your card here (pointing to the ever present debit/credit card machine that is in her face).

Oh, slides card. Now what?

You have to enter your pin number for your debit card.

Oh, OK. Punches the numbers.

M'am, please confirm the purchase amount and hit OK.

OK, the green button?

Yes, the green button. Thank you m'am, here's your receipt.

SERIOUSLY, What are you NEW? These new fangled debit machines at every grocery checkout on the planet and you're not really sure how to use it, are you kidding me? WTF? This whole process took twice as long as necessary and I didn't even mention that she forgot to use one of those new fangled 'sticks' to separate her order from the woman in front and all her crap got rung on the other ladies order. Seriously, NEW? Did you just get let out from somewhere, have you been in time warp for the past 10 years? Certainly, this is the same jackass that tries to go through the metal detectors at the airport with shoes and a belt on and wonders why they have to walk through 20 times and can't find their boarding pass that someone just handed them two minutes ago.

I really need to be more patient, I swear.

A sprained ankle...the best thing that could have happened to me?!?!

What, are you kidding me!?! Kind of yes and kind of no...see I love me some swimming but I really rely on my legs a ton. Too much. I can kick the hell out of that water. HOWEVER, my sprained ankle is forcing me to pull more, stronger, bigger, badder, faster. I was able to hold an interval tonite that I haven't seen in a couple of months so I'm totally geeked...yeah, I know, I'm a geek too.

I seriously need to go to the largest swimming pool in the world, look at this place? Are you kidding me?




Random thoughts in no particular order...

• Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels is the most trashtastic show I have EVER seen. Strippers calling each other trashy and low rent, exccccellent.
• I'm totally addicted to the Biggest Loser and any other show where people lose tons of weight. Jerry and Dan just fell below the yellow line, the two greatest contestants. I just can't look away....like Half Ton Teen and Half Ton Dad.
• Family Guy is the most irreverent show on television. I love it!
• 5K is 3.1 miles...that might be short on land but that's a damn long way in the water. What the hell am I thinking?!?

Ass kicker!

I'm so cashed right now that I feel like this guy...spit bubble and all! What a face!
Yesterday's schedule - get to our training class (10:30ish) with local cycling celebrity, Todd, Endeavor Performance (cycling) for an hour and a half, quick change to get on our Titan's gear for the playoff game and head to the stadium. I've done spin classes but not like this, with MY bike in a semi-real world situation rather than some chickie that wants to do aerobics on a bike. By cyclists for cyclists. After that thorough flogging, realization that I have a lot of work to do, and that good, "I'm so sweaty" feeling, we showered and got to the Titans vs. Ravens playoff game....rain, wind and droppping temps were not going to dampen my spirits. We cheered, we yelled, we stood for the entire game (interesting after the class) but it was not to be. We didn't deserve to win but it still bummed me out. Made our way home, 8:30ish, where I proceeded to take a hot shower to thaw and pass out. Holy crap. Got the dogs out this morning and got back into the bed until 8:45 and feeling like I could just stay right there...cool air, warm bed, down comforter...is there anything better? I haven't had that - I worked out so hard that I passed out - feeling in a long time. It was gooood. I like it a lot, probably too much.

Today, swim, swim, swim with Excel...it's the last day that one of our coaches will be in town for the next week because SHE will be at the Olympic Training Center. She is part of the U.S.A. National Swim Team - 10K Open Water is her event. I'm fairly certain that I may have the best coach on the planet...to get me ready for a 5K Open Water swim. I'm usually not a 'just finish' kind of girl but this may be my first. I'll give it my best but damn, 5K is a long way.

My Beer Baby, awwww so cute!

It's true...at swim, I'm the first one in so I don't have to expose my beer baby (stole that one). Yep, the girl who usually talks around the side of the pool, dangles a toe in to decide, has a sip of drink and further procrastinates getting into the water is the first one to dive in. Hat on, goggles on, dive in, let's keep that beer baby hidden, shall we. Now I don't have the killer mullet or speedo to match this guy but my gut will give him a run for his money pretty soon. I have been doing my Five a Day Challenge. So far, so good, problem, it doesn't say I can't have beer. Mmmm, beer, delicious Fat Tire. Oh, and I'm a hypocrite too, apparently. I always say - You gotta want it! If I don't want a beer gut, that means no beer, right? Well, as I write this, I have a Fat Tire in hand. Blasted. OK, I'm not having 10 just one or two, three tops!

One more day on the Five A Day Challenge and I'm feeling pretty good about it. It's been harder than I expected to get all the veg in, fruit is so much easier because you can often throw it in a bag and roll out - a banana, apple - and eat it on the fly. Ryan looked at me and said - are we having fish and vegetables again? When is this vegetarian thing over? I didn't have the heart to tell him that I haven't even gotten to the vegetarian challenge yet.

Go Titans!

What IS an avocado anyway? Fruit, veg?

I've successfully made it through four days of my 5 a day challenge. Like many things, it's a lot harder than I anticipated. I'm fairly certain that I will turn green shortly. While I know that all veg's aren't green, I am trying to get the vegs that are the richest in vitamins. The next time you'll see me....

It was after swim last nite that I packed this in...cucumber salad with dill, mint, lemon juice, feta cheese and I jammed an avocado in the pita too. Much like the white dinner, this is the green dinner. Now, I did make an error but it was not with intent so I'm not starting the week long fart festival over. When I jammed the avocado in there to add a vegetable it made me think? What the hell is an avocado anyway? Yep, it's a damn fruit...the pit gave it away. I eat them all the time. I guess it was the savory vs. sweet flavor that made me think it was a veg. I know better now and will count correctly from here on out. Four days complete and here's what I know - the beano guys are on to something. It's just not easy to walk around the office 'holding it in' and I can't go with Ryan's theory - better out than in and let it fly. Letting it go on a run or ride is one thing but I'm not going to crop dust some poor, unsuspecting coworker. I'm thinking that the vegetarian week won't be so hard now. By the time I get in five veg and two fruit, I'm not terribly hungry. Gotta work on the protein part, though.


Swim was rockin and everyone was suckin! Virtually everyone is out of shape (some to more or lesser degrees). All I know is that I was able to hang on to 1:45 intervals and still had ~10 seconds rest. I was happy with that, for now. It was after I tagged my sprained ankle on the lane markers for the second time that I got out (skipped the last 400), ouch and double damn.

5 A Day Challenge!

I'm working on Challenge #5 - 5 fruit and veg per day. Now, I didn't think this would be THAT hard but I was not 'counting' correctly. The baby salad I used to have and count as a veg was only a half salad...now I'm eating the big salad, same just bigger 1/2 to 2/3 bigger PLUS more veggies. So, I have decided that I can not turn into a piece of broccoli or big salad and that I must branch into new veggies. Mom told me that corn was a veggie but I've come to learn that it's just kind of a veggie, pretty weak on the veggie scale. I went to the grocery and bought some new things to cook in my Braised Root Vegetable recipe...first, I didn't know what the hell a parsnip was. I had to ask the guy and then I looked at him and said, oh, you mean the white carrots? He looked at me like I was retarded. Then I had to find turnip root, found beets but no turnip, had to ask. Then I said, oh, the things that look like cow b*!!s? Only, I stopped at cow, said thanks and took my b*!!s to go with my white carrots and some regular carrots too. I have not made the Braised Cow B*!! recipe yet but I'll let you know how it goes. Besides the carrot, it's awfully white.

Swam yesterday and it was so great to be in water again...not so great to pour my ass back into a bathing suit so you can see everything squish out the side but WHATEVER. 5:00 a.m. swim at the ISC tomorrow morning, yeehaw. I hate the 5:00 a.m. swim but sometimes you just gotta suck it up, 4:15 alarm clock, barf. Oh and the Bachelor is the stupidest show on the effen planet - it was on while I was fondling my parsnips and roots and such and couldn't believe the crap coming out of their mouth. Women don't really talk like that, do they? Not the one's I know at least, Thank God!

Holy Fiber Batman, my poor colon!

I'm starting out with challenge #5 - five fruits and veggies a day - three veg and two fruit. Like everyone, I suppose I had a distorted view of what it looks like...

This is only two veg and two fruit. Two cups of lettuce is one veg - I swear I jammed it in that measuring cup, not looking to cheat already. Next to it is one cup of broccoli jammed in there and, of course, the apple and pear. I have to figure out a way to get in one more veg today...and it's pizza nite, Sunday's + pizza + football = the perfect kind of day. Oh yeah, and swimming this afternoon.

I placed all the lettuce and broccoli in a regular soup bowl, pouring over the edges. Threw on a little carrot on top, not enough to 'count' and ate it. A normal kind of salad at my house is 1/2 this size + dinner with a meat, starch and another veg. I can really see where I may have been getting about half this much of the fruit and veg on a regular basis but NOT FIVE consistently each day. I hope this will help with the vegetarian challenge at some point this year. I'll freak out if I have to eat a salad like this each day. Seems delicious and tasty and fresh...until you've had your fourth salad for the week. Sooo, I had to learn what a parsnip looked like and a turnip root so I can expand my veggie options this week. Grocery guy looked at me like I was nuts, dumb girl doesn't know that a parsnip is a white carrot, jeeze!

See, I didn't cheat, I swear it. I haven't even choked down the apple and pear and feel like I'm all bloated with fiber. I'm actually kind of scared of what my colon is going to say about all of this , I swear. Thankfully, when I was buying up all the bulk produce at Sam's Club (grown in USA or Canada only) today, I also bought the super jumbo pack of toilet paper. Ha!

Day one is not over yet, but I'm confident I'll be just fine today. Back to work tomorrow and THAT will be the challenge, back into regular routine...after 2+weeks off. Swim practice this afternoon and I'm really looking forward to it. My lane mates may not be so happy with my new found fiber diet...beware of the bubbles guys!

12 Challenges for 2009

I had to come up with something for 2009 so here it goes - some are sports related, some are family related and some are food related. Here's the framework:

Each Challenge is to last one full week, that's seven days not a work week. If I fail or falter on that challenge, the week starts over and I'm back to square one. These challenges can not be combined on top of one another but CAN be pulled ahead. Here it goes, in no particular order:

1. Go vegetarian (lacto-ovo) for one week - http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/vegetarian-diet/HQ01596diet/HQ01596 - Ryan's gonna love this! I'll still have to cook some meat for his meal, he might die otherwise. I AM a carnivore (love that burger) so this should be interesting. I had to keep the eggs and milk or I might freak out.

2. Train/Race with no heart rate monitor or watch - might be a 5K or a tri, not sure but I will train and race for one week with no gadgets, just go on feel and the official race clock. I think this will be harder than I think.

3. No TV for one week - this will have to wait until football season is over because THAT is just too much to ask. Oh, and I can't watch it on a computer either, no TV for a week. Do you know how much I love to watch the Biggest Loser!? I swear I'm fascinated by their ability to drop that much weight!

4. Swim everyday and/or do an open water long distance swim event - minimum one mile but would like to train and prepare for a 5K swim. Holy crap, 2.4 at an easy pace is one thing but a 5K with all I've got is another! Thankfully, I have the best swim coach on the planet.

5. Eat five fruits and veggies a day - this can not be combined with #1. This site is pretty sweet - http://www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov/. You plug in your age, sex and activity level and it kicks out your requirements and what it 'looks' like. I'm 2 cups of fruit and 3 cups of veggies a day...why couldn't it be reversed?!

6. No alcohol for one week...have you seen my favorite things list? I love beer, wine, liquor. This, too, will have to wait for the end of football season. I can use it in cooking, though, but not like gin martini soup or anything like that!

7. Walk the dogs everyday. I'm totally sporadic on this one. Kasha is a 12 year old Boxer, left. She loves to swim but walking these days, not so much. I will commit to take her around our cul de sac a couple of times. BUT Magnus, right, is eight and is still ready to go, go, go but not quite at a running pace. I always say I'll walk them later or for my cool down or warm up but it doesn't happen. They get out to play and mess around but not for a real honest to goodness walk. Magnus' walk must be 20 minutes or more and Kasha will get to do whatever she wants for however long it takes (bad hips).

8. Learn three survival skills - why the hell do I listen to my adventure racing friends? They thought it would be neat for me to learn how to make fire with no matches, find local vegetation that is edible and filter water...seriously, when will I need these skills? Are they getting ready for the rapture or what?! BUT, with their help I will learn and master these three things, Lord help me.

9. Run a 1:45 half marathon - OK, this was supposed to happen in March. With this dumb ass ankle, I'm not so sure. I didn't want to drop it from the list for the year so there it is!

10. Mail a card or letter via snail mail to one friend or relative each day. Other than Christmas and Birthday's, when was the last time you got a card and E-Cards DON'T COUNT!

11. Do one good charity 'thing' each day and one of the seven has to be a volunteer action. I always say I'm gonna but never do. One of them may be to take clothes and/or food to Snook (see below).

12. Read a book cover to cover and it has to be non-sporting - I will need good suggestions on this one. I'll read Going Long or something like that but that's about it. Need help in finding 'just a book.'

So, there it is. No resolutions, just challenges! My hope is that I can get some of them to 'stick.' I'm not exactly sure where to start but I'm thinking #5 with five fruits/veggies a day, my waistline could use the help, that's for sure. I will post results as they happen throughout the year. This will be interesting!

New Years Eve, I love Franklin TN!

There were errands to be run and cars to be dropped off for repair, no big deal. I figured I would drop off the car and then run home - perfect. Get in a little workout AND get the car handled without bothering any working people for a ride home (I've been on vacation since Dec. 20 and it's been grand). 9am, car dropped off. No problems. Got my new Garmin set up and I'm ready to run home. The wind is cutting right through me and thought about calling for a ride for a brief moment, no, no, don't be a baby. I just decided that this run would be a slow one and settled in. Not a mile in, crossing at a light, I'm busy looking up (for traffic), not down for road debris. Keep in mind, I'm a huge klutz so I'm always looking for road debris - seriously, the same morning I wiped out and flew down our stairs...on my ass, thankfully, but this is not UNcommon. I'm running through the intersection with my head up and step/roll right on a rock in the road.

YES, HOBBLED BACK INTO THE ROAD TO GRAB THIS EFFEN ROCK!

I yelled, said lots of bad words, and hobbled to the curb, ripped off my shoe so it didn't get 'swollen on' and cried because it hurt so freakin bad. I had my phone on me because of the car drop off (thankfully) and called Ryan crying - he probably thought something really bad happened but I was just crying saying it hurt, gave him my location and he was on his way. In a matter of 10 minutes, two men stopped to offer me a ride home because I was obviously in pain...and neither of them were in a Chester the Molester white van with no windows or anything. This is why I love Franklin TN, they meant it and would have given me a ride home without question.

CANKLES ARE HOT, AREN'T THEY!?

So there it is, I was hoping to get in a run and now I won't be running for few days for sure. Maybe a bike, maybe a swim, maybe some weights, damn it all to hell. BUT here's to 2008 being over and on with 2009, while I'm a bit afraid given the current state of affairs, I look forward to new experiences and new challenges (putting together my personal challenge list for 2009, not Ironman magnitude but there will be 12 different 'events' or challenges for 2009 and none will include anything like trail running or mountain biking - I can't even navigate the road on a sunny day for crying out loud, stay tuned).

Cheers to all!