Friday, May 8, 2009

Which uniform is worse?

Triathletes, swimmers and cyclists have the worst uniforms on the planet, or so I thought. Seriously, who would have ever thought I'd happily parade around in a grown up diaper, run through the neighborhood in a Speedo or look like a conehead at the pool? Well, we have taken a poll and there is one uniform that is worse...

Here is a short exchange with a friend the other nite. Background - I was in my car turning into the pool and I saw him cooling down in the parking lot across the street. Speed skater.


I just saw you over over there...HI!!!

In my killer outfit? Yikes.

No worse than a bike kit, I don't think! C'mon, I hang with guys in banana hammocks and goggles! (...and they all don't look like THIS, my friend. )

Hahaha.
While it's OK to draft a guy on a bike, guy on guy, a speed skater is drafting hand on arse ... suffice it to say, you better be very competitive and very secure in your manhood to draft during speed skating training or races. You are up close and personal with the arse in front of you! Oh, and if there is any question, speed skating is NOT on my list of things to do. Seriously, I'd kill my self or break myself into a gagillion pieces for sure.

One day is great and another, you fall apart. Wednesday nite run was great, felt speedy and light, pushed it hard. Thursday nite - I should have opted to ride but the lawn was in dire straights. Mow + another attempt at running back to back nites was a baaad idea. The legs were like lead and I could hear Kate Bush singing in my head - running up that hill....I wanted to slap the biatch.

21 comments:

Chloe said...

oh man - great post about the adult diapers and the speed skaters. Hand on butt - speed skaters have pretty darn bad outfits.

Shannon said...

I think women volley ball players have the best "outfits." I think Gabby Reece is smokin' hot in her VB outfit.

Let's go running this weekend!

joyRuN said...

Can't they make a smokin' hot bod a prerequisite for the banana hammock? Please? I'm sick & tired of seeing dudes with their bellies hanging so far over their briefs that they look nekkid. And not yummy nekkid, but droopy nekkid.

I think shaving your back should also be a prereq for the banana hammock. Or scratch that - for getting in the dayum pool, period.

BLECH.

Shazza said...

You made me laugh out loud so much! First "banana hammock", brilliant. And then bitch-slapping Kate Bush for singing in your head. I love it!

Worst uniform for me is when male triathletes wear a separate (bra) top and pants, with their midrif showing. Seriously, why??

Marcy said...

I'm with Joy!! There def needs to be some prerequisites on the banana hammock. Only the sexy people, only the sexy people.

Mel-2nd Chances said...

ITA with Joy too :) At least the diapers you're referring to are not like the ones for sumo wrestlers :)

Big Daddy Diesel said...

Speed skaters, hmpf!! I went to an open skate and a bunch of speed skaters showed up, all in the spandex on a friday night disco skate. Lil uncomfortable to say the least.

The butt whooping lasted till 2AM, at least I have a smile while sleep walking thru this day.

Carolina John said...

haha, that's a good one. yea, the speed skaters def have it worse than we do.

Vincent said...

I just saw that little globe a the bottom, thats really neat. I just stole it for my blog

Keith said...

I was thinking about this during my swim. My nomination for worst uniform is football, American football, not what the rest of the world calls football. Those dorky helmets, bulgy padding, ect. If the guy driving a big vehicle is making up for a small penis, I wonder what the football players are making up for.

The best? No question, female beach volleyball players.

Wes said...

I'll second volleyball!! hahaha! When you get competitive though, outfits really don't matter...

TRI-james said...

I don't get the male mid-drift tops either. If you have to cover your top then a one piece or a shirt!

Benson said...

Such a poinient post.
The more flashy and dorky the uni, the better. Obnoxious is in.
I think the look of the uni has alot to do with who's/what body is wearing it. Ref the banana hammock comments.
Oh sure, it's a banana hammock at first but just add cold water and it turns into twig and berries.
Just saying.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

The legs were like lead and I could hear Kate Bush singing in my head - running up that hill....I wanted to slap the biatch. ...

Sounds like someone needs a hug.

Or a hand on her @$$.

I volunteer for both jobs.

Runner Leana said...

Sigh...no...they don't all have the MP physique... :(

Xenia said...

Don't ever come to Europe--the banana hammocks are all worn by the un-sexy men. It's a terribly disturbing visual.

Dave said...

very perceptive on the speed skating thing...keep up the running...you'll get you land legs back. Have a good weekend...Wife went to NY NY with friends for the weekend...got the kids and we are having some fun...Leaving me in charge is like have the inmates guard the asylum.

Calyx Meredith said...

I'm not sure anyone could pull off looking good in a sumo wrestler's outfit (not even Gabby Reece or Michael Phelps) - so I'd vote for that being the worst. Ever. (Although come to think of it - I wouldn't mind seeing GR or MP at least try..) :D

AKA Alice said...

Agreed...completely...with all points.

(BTW...showed Walter your comment about making a dress out of his t-shirt. He says next time, he'll run in his compression shirt sans t-shirt to show off...lord help us all!)

Keith said...

Messing with my brain there, young Missy! What happened to the "Friday swim, maybe not!" blog? post? Was all excited to read something new, and then disappointed! Very disappointed! Well, maybe not as disappointed as Zorg. :-)

Jo Lynn said...

I don't know, I've always liked the speed ice skaters in the olympics. Ooooh, those legs! I don't know how you do the padded shorts on the bike so much either. I guess every uniform is something we get used to, eh?

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