Friday, April 24, 2009

In Wicked Ridonkulous News..

I saw a guy on the beach spread eagle with ALL his bits hanging out of his shorts. You can't tell me this SOB didn't feel the air hitting his shiz??? Topper, he's smoking a cigarette, seeexy. THEN, once he realized we were on to his 'game', he moved AND flashed another bunch of girls. Wow, total eye full. Picture NOT to be posted!

A 2 for 1 drink is 2 for 1 but the one costs $25. It wasn't THAT good either.

I thought ALL the beautiful people lived (or visited) here? This is the same cross section of the world as middle America, fat people and whopping guts. In a speedo, yes, excellent. Check.

However, for all you men out there (just to be fair), I did see a woman just walking down the beach topless, maybe she didn't know her shiz was hanging out either? Saw another woman in a string bikini so small, that if she bent over too far, it would have sliced her entire body in two pieces. Thankfully, she had the body to pull off the dental floss like bottom. I'm not so sure her pre-teen daughter was as proud, however. Kept throwing mom her towel.

The race organization is sketchy at best. Either that or they didn't tell the volunteers a dayum thing. When does the 5K start? I dunno. How will we start, in water start, run in? I dunno. How will the water station work (there's a water station at a dock, who knew)? I dunno. Of course, wanted to ask the obvious question, what DO you know? I refrained and kept my comments to myself. The only thing that I know is that I start at 945est, I have my black cap (who gets dark caps for open water swimming!?), and I'm swimming 5K tomorrow. Other than that, I'll have to let all y'all know how it goes down afterwards.

Total sensory overload in this place. So much random crazy shiz going on constantly. If you want to have a quiet or relaxing moment, you really need to separate yourself from the I sit in the shade pool side thinking about swimming a long ways tomorrow, eek!

Thanks for all the well wishes. I will hear all of them tomorrow in my head when I start to 'lose it' or just need some inspiration.



joyRuN said...


Yes, do think of us during your swim. Do NOT think of nasty bits hanging all over the place.

Chloe said...

South Beach is crazy. All of the crazy people live in Florida. And all of the REALLY crazy people go to Miami.

Good luck tomorrow!!

Keith said...

You - swimming in nice warm water for what, 1.5 hrs or so?
Me - running in what might be a snowy day for about 2.5 hrs or so.

Wanna trade?

Diana said...

All I can say is that I will now be thinking of your dude on the beach with his "nuts" hanging out during my 10K tomorrow! I hope he used sun screen-toasted penis can not be fun!
Good luck, can't wait to read all about it!

IronBob said...

good luck tomorrow.

We (Floridians) give out great PR (ie: "We have beautiful people all over our beaches") to get the rest of the country to bring their money down, and it works (you came). But as you know, all you see is the tourists. The beautiful people head on down to the Bahamas.

Jo Lynn said...

Go Missy, Go Missy! Swim your heart out, keep your head up. Don't let any body dunk your face. ;)

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

Wicked Ridonkulous Good Luck in your race today, Iron Oxide Missy!

Wear your string bikini to show off your guns and your Olive Oyl physique!

(You'll rock the 5k - I know it!)

Shannon said...

You're gonna be awesome! It sounds like your having a great time, enjoy Miami.

Melanie said...

sorry i missing wishing your luck yesterday for today, and by now you're done... but i'm sure you kicked ass for sure. looking forward to hear about your 5k, not necessarily all the other bits you're seeing out there LOL

Southbay Girl said...

$25 for a drink BLOWS!!! It better be good for that price-Hell you might as well come out to California and do an open water swim and drink!!

MrDaveyGie said...

Geeeesh, you got me laughing, too funny!!!. Thanks

IronMissy - it's official!

IronMissy - it's official!
A vision in green!