Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Walmart Uprising and nasty dogs

I ran, yep, believe it...I gotta hit it three times this week (plus swimming four days and riding two to three). I ain't no daym slack ass slacker...this week! Ha. Three miles down Monday in 25ishsomethingerotherminutes and happy as a clam. Sometimes, when I have a bad headache, a good smash run helps to knock it out, for at least a minute or two. Off to swim at 5:00am for ~4,000 yards and a hillier than hell ride in the p.m. Who else loves daylight savings, sheesh!?


OK, I love, love, love my dogs. They've got more personality than some people I know. Magnus is a total beta dog - he doesn't give a crap about anything OTHER THAN where you are (loves you more if you're salty). He just wants to be with near you, loves kids, babies, old people, every color people, every language speaking people, just a happy guy that defers to the Queen of the House (Kasha), the alpha in this pack of two. ANYWAY, he's looking at me while I'm blogging and I watch him scoot his ass across the carpet. OK, everyone has an itchy butt once in a while but this nasty ass dog left a skid mark. Yep, turned around to investigate his new work of art on my carpet and was one step away from licking it, I'm sure. They both think rabbit turds are freakin filet mignon so I'm certain he was about to have a sample. For the love of a dog, I swear! (Don't worry, this is a picture from a run when Magnus and I found a lucky dollar...he didn't just get done eating a turd and then lick my face..this time.)

I had no idea that I had the ability to incite a riot with one word...Walmart. AHHHH!!! OK, seriously, would anyone other than some gigantic redneck shop there unless they had to, really? NO, did I enjoy my trip there, NO and except for really great stories, I don't know what else I gained. Oh yeah, money. Do you think I like to contribute to the gross national product of China by shopping at Walmart? NO. Do you think I would by from a local all organic farmer if I could? YES. Guess what, I'm a filet mignon girl living in a chuck roast kind of world right now. Have you seen my pissy race schedule? Probably not because other than the daym 5K swim I'M NOT DOING MUCH ELSE. Whilst I might drivel about useless shit frequently, I'll say this - I actually am an engineer, yep, believe it. I can do math and everything. I'm actually an engineer that has some semblance of social skills (if you like raunchy humor and still think a fart joke is freakin hilarious). I work in the automotive industry. Another topper for ya, I'm also a small business owner. Combine all that and what do you get - a smaller than I'd like to be budget. Believe me, it is with pain in my heart that I had to and will go back to Wallyworld. I actually only buy that which is of the same value = price + coupons vs. quantity. I don't have any delusions that I'm getting some great quality anything there. When all of this is over and I (hopefully) still have a pot to pee in, I will NOT be shopping at Wallyworld and back to my beloved Publix where the people are nice and I don't feel all dirty when I leave.

20 comments:

Shannon said...

I'm feeling ya sista! I was a Walmart shopper (hater) as well. I just recently begged my Daddy (husband) to let me shop at the pristine Harris Teeter where I think I actually hear people talking like Thurston Howell III from Gilligan's Island. He recently got promoted so we can shop there now BUT I feel a little guilty not saving money by going to my local ghetto Wal-hood (mart) but I absolutely love shopping at the "Teeter."

BTW, BUY ORGANIC, it's at my Wal-hood.

Engineer = Smarty Pants! (Your the complete package, I think I want to have sex with you! LOL...)

Shannon said...

Dag that was a long post....

Calyx Meredith said...

I hate Wal-Mart - but totally understand a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do! (However - I will also say that Harris Teeter doubles coupons up to $.75 and I get stuff free there a lot when I have a coupon and it's buy one get one. It's hard to beat free!! They also have triple coupon days once a quarter. Have you checked out The Grocery Game?) Good luck hanging in there!

And RYC - Shark week is FABULOUS! I'm so saying that from now on!! Thanks for stopping by.

Diana said...

Shannon, I love the "wal-hood" comment!
OK Missy the dog making "fancy art" on your carpet just cracked me up-I love animals, can you imagine if us humans did the things they did? Imagine seeing a friend slide their ass across your carpet to get off a "dingle berry"? OMG-I'm so shallow!

Ron said...

What's wrong with Walmart? I love buying underware, washer fluid, and grapes at the same place. All while having my oil changed.

Marcy said...

LMAO at Ron!

I totally hear you chica! You gotta do what you gotta do! But next time bring baby wipes to clean the filth off you :P

joyRuN said...

On skid marks - I know when Thing One shits in school, because he does a half-hearted job wiping his ass, then I see skid marks on his underoos later on.

The immediate giveaway though is when he gets home scratching & sniffing.

*puke*

Melanie said...

love the pic of the dogs, and i'm glad to now know that it wasn't after the skid mark incident. Too funny!

Dave said...

WOW...another engineer with a freaking sense of humor (personality)...that's 2 of us....we are a small group...but have a stron lobby.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

he didn't just get done eating a turd and then lick my face..this time.

THAT YOU KNOW OF, sister. If not sh*t, of late, you KNOW that dog's tongue has been on his b@lls. (I know my tongue would be on mine if I could reach.)

Hey, no fair pointing out you like fart jokes and then not telling one.

I can't think of any good ones, so here's this instead:

Q: What's white and climbs up your leg?

A: Uncle Ben's Perverted Rice!

Available NOW at Mall-Wart!

Jo Lynn said...

The last time Boomer drug his butt across the carpet, I found a tick on his bootie! I just got a visual of a couple of adults I know, dragging their butts across the carpet when it itches. LOLOL
That would be something, huh?

Lana said...

I want in on the Wal-Mart bashing!!!! I can leave the house in a great mood, go to Wal-Mart, and come back a total bitch for the rest of the night. And I don't even have a Publix as an option. It's Wal-Mart or Food Lion down here. Yes, Food Lion. :(

Runner Leana said...

Sometimes you've gotta do what you've gotta do. And if it is Wallyworld...then so be it!

Love the pic of you and the pooch!

Wes said...

They both think rabbit turds are freakin filet mignon

OMG! and I thought my dogs were the only ones that retarded... No kisses for them ever again!!

Carly said...

OMG! I am laughing so hard about the dog. I actually had one of the kids do that to my carpet. They got that idea from their father.

I agree with you...a girl has to do what a girl has to do. I think you have blog material for life! I think you should make Walmart Wednesday with all the funny stories.

aron said...

lol at the dogs... i sooooo have been there. they love my cat's litter box (barf)

triguyjt said...

Love the shot with you and the dogs.... my lil old girl...14 year old bailey doesnt have any running days left..I'm afraid...

I hit Walmart once in a while...but don't seek it out..per se

Southbay Girl said...

Velcro hasn't been lucky enough to taste rabbit turds but kitty chocolates...she LOVES them!! And I've had my fair share of dog and cat but racing stripes on my carpet! The price we pay for our furry family members!!!

You are far from being a slacker! Anyone that would swim 4000 yards in one day can't even use the word slacker!!! Damn woman!!

I shutdown some of the male testosterone on our walkies! We wear walkies at work and all I was hearinbg were references to shit, them shitting etc and I finally put the hammer down and said no more poop references on the walkies!!!

Chloe said...

Ha! That is great about your dog! Nothing is better then a happy dog. Specially when they drag their a** on the carpet and then look and their work!

Ok. Watching the biggest loser. Did they really run a 1/2 marathon?Hmmm...

Ryan said...

I thought for sure you were going to say that the dollar bill was a resulted deposit of the dog scooting his ass across the carpet. I have hardwood floors now but my other house I truly believe that my dog wanted to create a skid mark that ran the entire length of the house. I bought a steam cleaner just for the freakin' dog's ass marks. It would have been cheaper to put the freakin dog down than to buy a quality steam cleaner. The bitch is staring at me now. She's a female so I feel justified in using the term bitch. One time in her butt scoot she did deposit a cotton ball. Yes a cotton ball. Where the hell did she ingest a cotton ball? F'ing dog!

IronMissy - it's official!

IronMissy - it's official!
A vision in green!