Monday, February 16, 2009

Funny Mom Stories for Monday


What I miss most about Mom, Mom hugs. I know I've said it before but I'll say it again damn it - Mom hugs are big, mushy and soft and require big boobs (in my book). Sorry all you bony broads out there, not going to cut it! So here's what I got for this Monday...

I ask my mom how she met dad. I'm sure it was for school or something - this was back in the day when it was OK to ask that question because your parents were a) still married and b) one man and one woman. I imagine that question is not so PC any longer. ANYWAY....

Hey ma?

Yeah.

How did you and Dad meet?

We met in college.

Yeah, but how did you meet, where were you?

We met in the library.

Oh, that's sweet, how nerdy of the both of you.

Uh-huh (she's kind of giggling)

What is it, what happened, you can tell me ma?

Well, we were in the library studying at different tables. I dropped a book, leaned over to pick it up and I can feel someone staring at me.

Dad?

Yep, he's zoned in on me and I look down and it's titty city, the twins are making the best cleavage possible.

Oh gross (I'm sure that was my reaction thinking about my parents like that).

Hahaha, yep, we met in the library because your Dad was staring at my boobs.

Aw ma.

Your Dad's a boob man, what can I say, I got em!

Great, I'm just going to tell them you met in the library studying, I can't tell them that you met because he liked your boobs.


And there it was, the moment they met...hey, at least they weren't drunk in a bar somewhere. BUT I've been forever scarred to know that my Dad is a boob man. Thanks mom, you could always make me laugh.


Besides ALL that, I swam and rode Friday, rode Saturday, swam Sunday and I'm totally trashed. I had a hard time washing my hair after practice because my arms were so cashed. I haven't done that much back to back in a while. It's good and I'm sleeping like a king. I love that part.

WE were soooo romantic for Valentine's Day that we went to a Mexican Restaurant nearby (that we go to all the time) but bought drinks this time, woohoo. We came home to see if we could catch a movie on TV (yeah, we're being cheap too) and we found...The Biggest Loser from Tuesday. Elaaaation, saw the whole thing, including the Ironman debacle. I hope he rides his bike more than just to the gym five miles away or he's gonna be hurtin' - whatever distance he ends up doing. I have a NEW person to hate on now that Joelle is gone....the crying former model - not the hardcore one, the bigger one that's a totally pussy (see I didn't even write pu$$y). She's boohooin over everything. Put your big girl panties on and let's go you big ass baby.

15 comments:

TRI-james said...

Mom hugs were the best! I miss my mom too.

Diana said...

Nice "Mom" story!
I can't wait till the weather gets nice enough to take my bike outside again....we've been apart way to long! :-(

Dave said...

Ok...lots to things to say. Your mom is cracking me up. So I will began with what I commented on, then deleted for lack of nerve when you posted the story of mom dropping the cigarette in her lap:
"Dad, tell us the story of Missy and the Burning Bush:-)" or "New meaning to fire crotch."

For valentimes;-) day: ran 20 miles, done at 9:00AM, went to son's basketball game, family went to lunch...then I grilled steaks for supper...see we're cheap too.

p.s. I like how you remember your mom with your funny stories. keep it up.

Ron said...

Wow, your mom was a babe. I still like hugs from women with big boobs. Michele and I met in a bar and it was New Year's Eve so we were probably drunk. I guess we better come up with another story for when the kids ask.

Chloe said...

Awesome mom story :)

What an awesome V-day! Glad you agree with me on the crying 'formal model' she is going to be the one to watch!

ROL - why did brett keep that weird girl that does not talk and had the weird cheek piercings? Gross. Brett, you are letting me down my friend.

Marcy said...

Ooooooo la la Mexican. I bet that made for a sweet smelling experience later on. All that ambiance :P ;-)

Melanie said...

aww, such a sweet story.

Shannon said...

Saw the Ironman debacle too, and your right it just pisses you off that they botched the race.

He said 1 1/2 mile (swim), 80 mile (bike), and a 1/2 marathon. WTF? 80 mile bike? what race is he in?

Jo Lynn said...

I don't watch BL, sorry. I do love your mom stories though. I'm so thankful I have my 76 year old mommy to hug too. Thanks for reminding me how lucky I am. ;)

Southbay Girl said...

Thank you so much for the tri advice-i so forgot about a swim cap. Shit I have to get one and maybe goggles?? Yikes-so much to get ready for and zero time!! Glad you had a nice valentines day!!! And you are a rockstar with your workout!!! Rock on woman!! I'm kinda excited in a scared way for the tri this weekend-i feel so muich better that I actually got in a pool and swam!!

Melanie said...

was wondering who would be the first to comment about hockey in the background LOL! i didn't even think of it till after i hit the publish button :)

Tri-ing Fat Man said...

Ummmmmm . . . I thought we were all "Boob Men"?

My Mom hugs are awesome, but as a child I remember "Kissy Monster". WOW!

MJ said...

Here's to moms! Great story.

Wes said...

I'm a boob man myself! (and Dee Dee's got'em!) ;-)

Runner Leana said...

All I really know about how my parents me was that it was at a party. And no, they weren't friends first, they started dating right away. Er... Plenty of information for me!

IronMissy - it's official!

IronMissy - it's official!
A vision in green!