Wednesday, January 14, 2009

What are ya, NEW?!?

Sam's Club, a close second to Walmart, as far as clientele is concerned. The difference is - the people are just as stupid but they have a little bit more money so they can buy 18000 rolls of toilet paper and 14 cases of Coke to fuel their caffeine habit. When I shop, I know what I'm shopping for and I'm prepared to buy. I'm not debating the issue, get what I need and get the eff out of there. Picked up a handful of items, five avocados for $5, yep, gotta have em, a take and bake pizza, case of beer, juice, milk, eggs, and I'm at the cash register. Lady in front of me with her handful of items, stares at Sams checkout guy...

I need your card, m'am.

My what?

Your Sams Club card, I need that card.

Oh, dig, dig, dig in the never ending handbag.

Here you go. That'll be $25.17.

OK, here's my debit card.

No m'am, you need to slide your card here (pointing to the ever present debit/credit card machine that is in her face).

Oh, slides card. Now what?

You have to enter your pin number for your debit card.

Oh, OK. Punches the numbers.

M'am, please confirm the purchase amount and hit OK.

OK, the green button?

Yes, the green button. Thank you m'am, here's your receipt.

SERIOUSLY, What are you NEW? These new fangled debit machines at every grocery checkout on the planet and you're not really sure how to use it, are you kidding me? WTF? This whole process took twice as long as necessary and I didn't even mention that she forgot to use one of those new fangled 'sticks' to separate her order from the woman in front and all her crap got rung on the other ladies order. Seriously, NEW? Did you just get let out from somewhere, have you been in time warp for the past 10 years? Certainly, this is the same jackass that tries to go through the metal detectors at the airport with shoes and a belt on and wonders why they have to walk through 20 times and can't find their boarding pass that someone just handed them two minutes ago.

I really need to be more patient, I swear.


Marcy said...

OMG LMAO HAHAHHAAA!! I'm the same way. That shiz gets on my la-la-last nerve. How old was she? Please don't tell me she wasn't a senior citizen. At least then it's a partial excuse LOL

mmbaker said...

Girl, your ankle needs to heal FAST! What you need is a good, long,!

Missy said...

P.S. She was in her late 30's, early 40' excuses:)

JoyJoy said... Perhaps just a cosmo? Sams /Costco soo funny...I go though...cheapo contacts and glasses!

Ron said...

That's funny. Good story. I hate standing in line for anything and these people drive me nuts.

untpawgal02 said...

Don't ya hate when that happens? I can be very impatient when that happens to... you're not the only one!

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

You shop like a dude. When I was younger and couldn't afford my own apartment alone, my roommate and I could do a week's worth of grocery shopping in 10 minutes if there were no lines. (We left to come back later if there were lines.)

This was back in the day (BitD) when people used cash.

O - congrats on being Marcy's New BotW! Expect a bunch of d*ckheads (like me) whom you've never seen before to be stopping by and checking out your blog. And since they'll be coming from Marcy's blog, expect them to be Mall-Wart types! (Just kidding, Marcy!)

Wes said...

I am a get in and get out kind of shopper too. Dee Dee turns it into a social event. Dear GAWD!

Nikemom said...

Beer and avocados ~ must haves! :D

The Running Girl said...

Too funny! I have to laugh, because even *I* know how to use a debit card!

IronBob (spawning?? at IMAZ 08) said...

I just joined your site.. I always like a good ironman story especially by someone from my old stomping grounds. I especially liked your swim recap, which convinces me my plan to start the 09 IMFL somewhere around the Sunbird condos (1/4 mile down the beach) is the right choice.

Shannon said...

Marcy is right.....your hilarious!

I need you to make me laugh everyday, K?

Dave said...

Ok Missy, two things...make that three: first, thanks for the kind words in regards to Bandera 50K. Second...your funny...I love to laugh...our whole family loves to laugh...and third...your quote at the top is real close to what I have been saying, "Live fast, Die Hard and do not leave a good looking corpse."

Jo Lynn said...

I ALWAYS get in the line with that idiot!

Vickie said...

Gee, you sound just like me and my daughter! That's her favorite line. You forgot to mention the old people who try to use the self-checkouts at the grocery stores and then have to pay with a check. Those are my favorites. OMG.

IronMissy - it's official!

IronMissy - it's official!
A vision in green!