Thursday, January 22, 2009

Dr. Tri, meet Mr. PT

Who needs air bags when you got bags like these?!?! Holy crap!


Thanks for all the well wishes and now I know that my bootie has killer cleavage! With cycling shorts on under my work pants, I ventured to see Mr. PT. Talk about a soft bootie, the pants were tight but I didn't want to have to actually change clothes to get to work. Mr. PT did his ankle and knee assessment, made some measurements and then started moving me in all kinds of directions. The best was when he said - engage your core - put his hand on my soft middle, said - engage your core - again. I'm thinking (I am jerky) that if I squeeze any harder I'm going to fart AND this is so embarrassing...my soft gooey center exposed for what it is...a weak, soft, gooey center. I'm working on it. Good flexibility here, not so much here (hands on legs). The best exercise, stand on one foot, then the other, then repeat and do it while closing your eyes. I almost hit the ground like a box of rocks. Apparently, my balance with my eyes closed, not so good. Try this, I dare you. You feel drunk forrrila.

Random thoughts in no particular order...
  • I LOVE the Biggest Loser, totally obsessed with it. I can watch the weigh in with heated anticipation each week (Joelle is so weak of mind it kills me). Is it wrong to eat ice cream pie while watching BL as I sit on the sofa? I kinda felt weird about it...like they were watching ME through the tv saying, why don't you try a yogurt or this stick of sugar free gum? Listen, ice cream sandwich pie, hot fudge and peanut butter chips AIN'T NO STICK OF GUM OR YOGURT...I'm here to tell ya...where to put that stick of gum.

  • I hate that football is over, for all practical purposes. I don't know what I'm going to do on Sunday's...other than swim.

  • Good tequila is really good. Crappy tequila is rot gut.

  • Rock of Love Bus 2 kicked off two lovely ladies last week - one had a boyfriend at home (shocker) and the other was a psycho ex-porn star who stole everyone's socks...yep, socks, tube socks...coming to eBay very soon.

14 comments:

Chloe said...

Wish my boobs where that big - a perfect place to keep my wine glass. I could just sit there and sip my wine watching the rock of love bus. Perfect.

Hope your sessions with Mr. PT gets better. But that would be pretty funny if you farted!!

Ice cream and the biggest loser. Perfect.

Marcy said...

OMG that picture is just too much! She looks like a Barbie doll (well a bigger one) that had her head popped off and then jammed back on. Don't you remember doing that? Taking Barbie's head off and then not being able to get it on right? Barbie No Neck.

Runner Leana said...

I'm not sure she can see over her chest! Hilarious!

I have a confession...I was eating ice cream while watching BL this week too! Joelle - could anyone want to be there any less than her?

Jo Lynn said...

If you look at the boobs long enough, it really looks like a butt!

MJ said...

With you on the biggest loser....

Did you notice that Dan and his degenerate, face-stuffing partner miraculously disappeared for the temptation??? WTF?

That guy was gonna eat 42 cupcakes for sure....

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

She looks as though she is about to give birth to twins through her chest and that those twins - who have 36D chests already - are themselves each pregnant with pneumatic twins.

Anyway, that's what I see. I suppose that picture is like a Rorschach and everyone will see something different. T*t-related ... but different.

Imagine if you were her trying to stand on one leg, then the other, with your eyes closed. If she fell like a box of rocks, those t*ts would flop over her face and they'd be so heavy she wouldn't be able to get up and she'd SMOTHER to death!

Which would be a horrible way for a woman to die.

Of course, speaking as a man, that would kinda be my dream death.

Best. Death. EVER.

Shannon said...

I saw the "sock stealer" episode, definitely psycho!

I'm sad about no football too. Have a great weekend, and hold in your core.

Wes said...

Huh, and I thought the core was where you stored all the gas. I guess I better get to work on making it soft and gooey :-)

IronBob (spawning?? at IMAZ 08) said...

I think I body marked her this year at IMFL !!! Her number was 46EEE.

Let's hear it for eating ice cream while watching BL !!

Dave said...

Always making me laugh. I am hooked on Biggest Loser as well....I try to run before the show...so I feel good about watching it while I drink a Coke Float. :)

Steve Stenzel said...

Good luck with that ankle!!

And with regards to your first 3 bullet points: I SECOND ALL OF THEM!!!

As for you're 4th - I don't get cable...

Have a good weekend!!

Marit Chrislock-Lauterbach said...

HILARIOUS! Big boobs - just wrong. Holding in your gas and engaging the core? Difficult when you've got an audience with Dr. Tri. Biggest Looser - I totally agree. And (I'm ashamed to admit it) - Rock of Love bus season 3 seems to be the show that everyone is watching. :) Thanks for making me burst out laughing!

triguyjt said...

The B.L??? I watch it religiously..and its like a gut check (no pun intended) for each week..to make sure I am sticking close to my plan or in some cases...not going totally off the deep end.

Ron said...

Maybe the lady in the pic was holding in her gas and look what happen to her.

IronMissy - it's official!

IronMissy - it's official!
A vision in green!