Do you love my latest Christmas gift? This door mat might be the best Christmas gift this year...
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Magnus and Me - living it up on the sofa. Yep, we just laid there for days on end. Him with his eye, me with my...snot and a cough that could choke ya. We DID make it through Christmas in one piece and then just hit rock bottom after that.
So my four week (post B2B) hiatus has turned into almost an eight week hiatus with very little swimming, running and ONE bike ride in between. My legs are feeling twitchy from atrophy and I don't sleep worth a crap. Guess that means it's time to start training. In fact, coach gave me plan for Triple T today, um, yeah, it was nice knowing all y'all but I'm going to be very busy VERY soon. I know I saw some peak weeks with 4 runs, 4 rides, 3 swims, 2 strength. WTF? There's talk of Dave Scott bricks and the Tabata Protocol and I haven't seen the road in days, weeks, even. Oh well, it all comes back, right? Bless it, the sickest winter that I can remember.
Happy New Year - 2010 is going to be great. I can feel it.
Friday, December 25, 2009
- We celebrated Festivus with beers and the traditional Festivus dinner that included the Pepperidge Farm cake with M&Ms.
- I got a Festivus present from hubs that rocks out.
- Christmas Eve morning we were hung over from Festivus and I had LOTS of cooking to do. Oops, no wonder I screwed up the potatoes.
- Magnus has kept me up for two nites in a row. Ulcerated eye...yes, again, other eye. So painful. We OWN a wing of the Veterinary Ophthalmology office here in town. This is his alternative to the lampshade! Looks like a hemorrhoid pillow on his neck. Poor guy, his left eye is killing him. I won't tell you what they did because it will make YOU wince.
- Yes, you heard me, Veterinary Ophthalmology.
- So far, Santa brought me all NON-sporting gifts for the first time in ages - a dress watch, not an HRM, a jacket, not for riding or running, gloves for cold weather, not for wiping snot from my drippy nose and more to come. Wow, this is pretty fun.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Season Opener - Tom King Half Marathon - March 13, Nashville. I would like to say that this will be my PR attempt for the year at a 1:45. We will have to see. Typically, this is the day of the perfect storm in Tennessee OR I am 'spring' sick with allergies.
Powerman Duathlon - estimated - April 18. This date is not posted yet but it's 8K run - 53K bike - 8K run in Birmingham, AL.
3 State 3 Mountain - May 1, Chattanooga. It is what it says and it makes me want to cry....it is a 100 mile bike ride that crosses three mountains. You know you want a ride a mountain called Suck Creek. Waaaahaaaaa!
REV3 Knoxville - May 8, Oly or Half IM, not sure yet. This is a week after 3S3M so it will depend upon if I am alive or not.
Triple T Ohio - May 21-23 - This might be my dumbest idea ever. Besides four races in three days, I have to wear the race issued singlet. GAWD!
End of May - buy Missy a puppy - y'all know I'm a sucker for a Boxer. This will keep me busy and allow me to enjoy the 'end' of my 2010 season. Told ya I wouldn't be so stupid this year. Late season races can suck it!
So there it is, for now. Training will start in earnest Jan. 4, 2010...and so will my boycott of all things bad for me. I have a freakin race singlet to get into!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
I suppose the only way to over come this fault of mine, is to eat salmon and spinach for the next six months. Certainly, this will have to wait until AFTER Christmas and New Years fo sho. I'm not a terrible eater but I do think that a Five Guys Burger and Fries is one of the most perfect recovery foods after a hard ride and that cheese is its own food group. If there is any chance that I look half as good as those Triple T peoples in that itty bitty singlet, I'll need to lean up. Now I know why I only race in one piece bathing suits or race kits...it holds my junk together so nicely.
This whole prospect of having to wear their race singlet is terrifying enough to make me do something about it....I think.
P.S. I just noticed that the stellar guy from yesterday's post has displayed his ROCK BAND and GUITAR HERO guitars. Not even the real deal. So guns and Rock Band, for your listening pleasure.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
My newest plan, that benefits everyone, warm up walk with Magnus, just a little 20 minutes of walking fast, return dawg to the house, drop off a jacket and head out to run. I was going to be smart and leave my watch at home but noooo, I needed to KNOW how bad I was going to suck. I had been running a cool nine miles/week prior to the flu bug but at least it was at a decent pace. This time, not so much BUT that was my plan. I wanted to enjoy it too. I succeeded on all accounts - a slow but happy little run. It will all come together soon enough, just need to keep on keepin on. Who knew that a week off could mean that all my junk hurt so badly. Seriously, a sore back and hamstrings?!
In random ass news...
I was at a local "made in China" store that carries a wide range of made in China goods from fake trees, to fake wall art, fake furniture and fake flower arrangements. Anyway, I was making my way through some fake wall art that was stacked up. These were very large wall pieces when the brace that was holding them together broke free and the stack cut loose on my ass. YES, a large stack of framed made in China wall art cut loose on my ass and knocked me to the ground in the middle of the daYum store. I was buried under fake made in China wall art. I couldn't even get out by myself - other shoppers had to come over and help me out of the fake wall art pile of shit. I wish someone was there to see it, it was pretty funny except for the bruised knee when I hit the ground under $2 wall art that they're charging $200 a piece for - oh but it's 30% off, such a deal. As to NOT to look like I was running in shame, I continued to 'shop' while rubbing my knee and pretending NOT to be embarrassed. Seriously, who get's attacked by fake wall art?!?
Friday, December 11, 2009
I know that logical people much smarter than I will tell me this is natural, this is a great time to rest, take a break, recover. Fine, fine but I pretty much haven't done anything since November 7. The part that scares me is the simple fact that I'm OK with it, it's not hard. Quite frankly, I've really enjoyed not doing much of anything - a little run here, a little weight there, a Hot Yoga 'try out' and maybe another little run. Other than that, I have not seen a 5:00am swim in over a month or gotten up for any workout for that matter.
I guess I should be thankful for this time. I am really enjoying it. I just really hope that I fall back in love with triathlon and all things triathlon real soon...Triple T training starts, um, in January.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
The only thing I have for you is a review of all the television I watched and the wide variety of soups I ate. I feel like granny in the nursing home, I swear. "You know, Mildred, that chicken soup tasted like real chickens and had big ole' noodles in it. I could gum that real good like." Yep, crackers, soup and Sprite, the story of my life. That AND...
- Jersey Shore - I don't ever need to see this again. Guido's and Guidettes, who knew?
- The Real Housewives of New Jersey...and all things Jersey
- Rupaul's Drag Race - This show rocks and I WILL watch it again.
- Nip/Tuck - How did I not know about this show before and how can they get away with all 'that' on regular cable?
- For the Love of Ray Jay - Trashy women in competition for something, don't need to see again.
- Intervention - Really, I only want the happy endings.
- Hoarders - Holy CRAP, very sad, will never watch again. How many times can you watch a persons house be condemned because they collect crap...literally, a woman was dying in her own crap. She did not have water on in the house for over two years. This must be a whole lot more common than you can imagine if there's a whole series of shows about it. I feel for their poor families.
- The Biggest Loser - amazing, always amazing at the finale each year. I was pulling for Rudy but Danny was looking great. I'm just glad that crazy eyes Tracey didn't win. She was creeping me out!
And Tiger a sex addict. Is that the new term for any man that just likes lots of sex, he's an addict? Wouldn't that cover most of the male population? I'm so confused. If you put a label on it, that absolves him from all wrong doing or something? Oh, he's an addict, we must fix him. He's a whore, he cheated on his wife....and a dumbass because his wife is uber hot.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Here's how it went down - Strip down to the bare minimum clothing before entering the room. Seriously, these people had on mini black shorts and a bra top. Not me, my friend. I must cover my soft gooey center, I don't care HOW hot it is. Issue #1, my new, fancy brown yoga pants that I bought special for this moment. I now know why everyone was wearing BLACK bottoms in that class. I had a nice ring around my junk - a nice outline of EVERYTHING. Issue #2, the reason these dumb ass pants were at TJ Maxx (by Reebok) was that they give you a RAGING camel toe. Yes, my friends, you could almost see my fallopian tubes, I swear. Issue #3, I will be wearing said pants to every class for the next week because I don't have anything else. Great, joy, it's a good look.
Blah, blah, we went through all the poses. I did yoga a gagillion years ago. I don't know the pose names but I could follow as we went along. I did not wear a watch on purpose but at one point, I just HAD to know what time it was because I wasn't sure I was going to make it without running outside into the cold air for some relief. The instructor totally busted me for grabbing Angie's arm to look at her watch. Crap 20 more minutes. I can do this.
With every lean and every movement, pools of sweat would just run down my face and nose if we were inverted. AND I do mean just pools of it. You could totally ring my clothes out at the end and produce, gross but it really felt like a bike ride in the middle of a hot Tennessee summer...my Gatorade tasted like it too. Mmmm, warm Gatorade in a room full of sweaty, stinky people.
I did not fart, I did not laugh, not even giggle. I did cuss a fair amount, shocker, I know. I was actually surprised by all of this. I was concentrating so daYum hard on NOT falling over and working on my balance that any little giggle would have totally thrown me off. I dropped 3lbs of water weight from that class - I'm sure immediately put back on when I slammed a gallon of water when I got home but I'm going with the 3lbs. I felt really 'clean' and limber afterwards. I am sore, a little, but I kinda can't wait to go back. It's such a departure from anything that I'm used to, maybe that's it, not sure. This just may have to be something that I work on now and then incorporate, to a lesser degree, when it is ON-season.
So, there it is, I know you were hoping for the fact that I farted and ran out of the 105 degree room in embarrassment covering my face in shame or that Angie and I were thrown out for giggling at someone else's farts but it just didn't happen, sorry.
In Christmas News....
When did it become a holiday tree? Do you know another group of people that puts up a tree? No, it's a Christmas Tree, so what?
I don't mind a Menorah too. The more the merrier, I say. I don't care who you pray to or how you pray, just pray for me for crying out loud! God, Jesus, whatever, either way, makes me no never mind.
Is Merry Christmas really that offensive?
I don't think that a Jewish person would really mind (let me know here if it's offensive, I really would like to know). If they wished me a Happy Hanukkah, I wouldn't be mad, I'd just say, Happy Hanukkah back.
I suppose it's usually the atheists are the one's that get bent over the whole holiday season, Christmas or Hanukkah.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Remember the first time you showed up at Masters Swim? If you're like me, you didn't even know what 'starting on the top' meant. I had no clue about pool etiquette and thought that I just wanted to survive. I was terrified that I would be the slowest, crappiest swimmer with all the wrong gear. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into but I just showed up and been there since 2006 or so. Fast forward to 2009, I feel like I could at least show up for most group rides, group runs or swims and have someone to hang with, it is where I am most comfortable.
I have decided it's now or NEVER. I am going to hot yoga (with the help of a friend) on Wednesday. I know there's all this zen crap and quiet time biz...Angie and I have NEVER been in a room or car together and NOT talked the entire time. We drove nine hours to Florida and never turned on the music, if that's any indication. I'm afraid that we will be asked to leave when I bust out laughing or make Angie laugh. This is going to be like two kids in church, I swear...without her, I'm not so sure I would go, though. So there it is, stay tuned for some total hilarity. I have no doubt that this is good for me, let's just see if I'm good for hot yoga. Oh, and fart noises KILL me and throw me into a ball of laughter. I'm in trouble, I know.
Post Thanksgiving ramblings...
- It IS possible to gain 5lbs in a weekend.
- Is it eating and drinking everything in site that made me break out? I can't even say it was the pool, always my excuse. I'm 37, really, zits???
- I really could have used just one more day.
- I think sleeping in makes me more tired - I refused to get out of bed before 7:30-8:00am just because.
- I'm glad I didn't go shopping on Black Friday.
- Do you think hot yoga will help me sweat out the 5lbs I just consumed?
- I'm so sick of turkey that I don't want another piece of poultry for a while.
- When is the next holiday...I'm ready for more days off!
HOT YOGA....and it was MY idea. CRAP! AND, I'm going to make an attempt to go at LEAST three days in a weeks time. They say (whoever THEY is) it's best if you can hammer it out even if you feel crappy.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Wednesday - got in a baby sized run, that wasn't embarrassingly slow, and lots of Thanksgiving cooking, add in some Biggest Loser on the DVR and it was a party at my house. I'm just in awe of those peoples, I swear, totally transformed. Alan is a stud. He will be totally shredded when he comes back to the finale.
Thursday - Thanksgiving at my house always starts with a bike ride. It was about 45 degrees, I think, so not warm. It's just a 22 mile route from the house, just us, friends and road bikes. OH and NO computers allowed to monitor speed or average speed. I think it was at the half way point (a church) that I started to pray for my salvation from this bike ride. I seriously considered calling for a ride home. For the love of Pete, it was harrrrd. You could have told me a pack of dogs was chasing me and it wouldn't have mattered. Elated to get home and start on some pancakes, bacon and breakfast liquor - pick your poison: Bloody Mary, Kahlua and Coffee, Screwdriver, whatever but you best start drinking NOW. AND WE DID! It's always fun.
On with some Thanksgiving food that was a feast to feed at LEAST 12 - there's only five of us. I'm still eating turkey, dressing, green beans, sweet potatoes...you get the idea. Post dinner tradition is YAHTZEE. I couldn't buy a Yahtzee, blasted. And then it was downhill from there, I felt like hell on a stick.
Friday morning, woke up, sore throat and loads of gunk, the heavy thick kind. I started jamming Zicam up my nose, after my saline rinse, some Cold Eze tabs and sleep, lots of sleep. I think I saw EVERY episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Wow, really, wow - and I LOVE trash tv.
Saturday morning, cleared my throat and felt like a million bucks compared to Friday. Woohoo, I beat this thing. Always satisfying. Got to see some friends, watch some college football and proceed to fall asleep by 9pm because I know how to party.
Sunday - I was really going to extend my run and did 8K. Yes, this is funny for many reasons. I ended it at 8K for all my Canadian friends. See, I'm not that OCD, it didn't have to be 5 miles straight up! Since B2B, I've probably run six times total for a grand monthly mileage of 24 miles. I told hubs I was going to run for 5ish miles and he said - wooha, wooha, slow down, Missy, why so far, why so fast?! (I've been really milking coaches instructions for time to chill post B2B and hubs has gotten used to having me around more.) Thanksgiving food, that's why! It was a great little run with all the good hills mixed in for good measure. Got to get my Triple T glutes and hammies ready for all 'dem 'der hills.
Throw in a killer Titans win and that's a wrap. This week MAY find me venturing into the land of hot yoga. I'm actually terrified as one of my strongest friends said it was the hardest thing she's ever done. Could be perfect.
My pants are tighter and I'm afraid to look at a scale right now. I will get back on the wagon just as soon as all those sweet potatoes are gone...promise!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Off for the REQUIRED Thanksgiving bike ride in a little while to freeze our giblets off, then pancakes, bacon, Bloody Mary's to kick off the day just right.
Bring on the food. My pants are getting tighter by the day!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
- I didn't start running until I realized that I was going to hit double digits in my clothes. It was a deal breaker for me.
- I've only run three marathons - one was attached to a 2.4 mile swim and a 26.2 mile bike.
- I don't really like to run, it's just the easiest thing to do when I'm short on time.
- I've never played a sport or been on a team of any kind. I suck at team sports.
- I still don't think of myself as an athlete and I have NO idea why. Maybe because all of this started in my late 20's, post college? Who knows...
- I hate clicking noises.
- People that cut their nails at work disgust me. Keep your DNA to yourself.
- I get totally irritated with people who use Facebook and Rolling Stone as their source of news...for which they are an 'expert' on (fill in the blank here, usually medical or politics).
- I think ANYTHING can be funny. It's all in the context. HellO Family Guy!
- I do not tolerate a liar.
- You screw me over once, I'm done with you.
- I'm totally terrified about doing Triple T in May, totally starting to freak out. What have I done?
- I AM happy that I am doing Triple T with Tilghman because she makes me laugh and we're gonna need it.
- I find serious people BORING. I mean, a time and place, but c'mon.
- I like dogs, Boxers, specifically. Love the smooshed in face.
- I love to run in a one piece speedo. It freaks out the neighbors.
- I am an only child - it explains a lot.
- My mom was my best friend. Holy hell, hands down the funniest person I've ever known. She didn't care about a thing or what you thought. Gee, sounds familiar. Glad that rubbed off.
- Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because it does not involve gifts. We eat, we drink, we watch football and play Yahtzee. It totally rocks.
- Ryan and I double over in laughter at LEAST once a day. Our house is pretty crazy....he still says he's funnier.
- I went to an all girls Catholic High School. Retrospect - it was probably one of the best experiences of my life.
- I might have the smallest family on the planet.
- I have not been to a concert or show in AGES because big crowds + drunk people + smoke wear my ass out.
- I don't run or ride with music because I think it's dangerous. How else can I see Chester the Molester in his white van chasing me?
- I think if I can do this crap, anyone can. Total non-athletic, non-athlete type and I can do it. Ironwill(power) though.
- I get livid when I see a 400lb woman at Walmart, pull up and park in handicapped parking while her son (200lbs @ 10yo) goes to get her the motorized scooter because she has bad knees. No SHIT you have bad knees. THEN, you get a load of their cart, Mountain Dew and any other processed food you might imagine.
- ...yeah, you didn't really think that I was going to list 300 things about myself, did you? I'm really not THAT exciting
Sunday, November 22, 2009
I am officially official, I have paid up and signed up for Triple T. This will have to suffice as my big endurance race for the year. As many of you know, I was planning to do the 24 Tri out in Colorado in September. It is proving to be a little cost prohibitive at this point. I really would need another few folks to split an RV with (I'm NOT looking for volunteers either) AND it happens to be the same weekend as Age Group Nationals...where all my peoples will (hope) be. SO, the American Triple T will have to take it's place. If you haven't checked it out, here's the format:
Race #1: Prologue
Friday, May 21st, 2010 at 5:00 P.M.
SWIM: The 250 meter swim is a counter clockwise loop course in Turkey Creek Lake with participants starting in a time trial start every 3-5 seconds. Swim start is a dry land running start. Wetsuits allowed.
BIKE: The 5 mile bike course is a challenging loop course to the top of the resort and back. Bring your climbing gears.
RUN: The 1 mile run course is an out and back course on Lamp Black Run trail.
RACE RULES: All individual times count towards the team time. Any individual (solo and team) finishing in the top five overall will receive a 30 second bonus time. NOTE: Drafting is not allowed.
Race #2: Individual Time Trial
Saturday, May 22nd, 2010 7:30 A.M.
SWIM: The 1500 meter swim is a counter clockwise loop course in Turkey Creek Lake with participants starting in a time trial start every 3-5 seconds. Swim start is a dry land running start. Wetsuits allowed.
BIKE: The 24.8 mile bike course is a challenging loop course on park fire roads within the park and state routes outside the park. Bring your climbing gears.
RUN:The 6.55 mile run course is an out and back course on Lamp Black Run trail.
RACE RULES: All individual times count towards the team time. Any individual (solo and team) finishing in the top five overall will receive a 30 second bonus time. NOTE: Drafting is not allowed.
Race #3: Team Triathlon
Saturday, May 22nd, 2010 3:00 P.M.
BIKE: The 24.8 mile bike course is a challenging out and back course on the infamous route 125. Bring your climbing gears or pay!
SWIM: The 1500 meter swim is a counter clockwise loop course in Turkey Creek Lake with participants starting after the completion of the bike. Swim start is a running start from the transition area. Wetsuits allowed.
RUN: The 6.55 mile run course is an and back course on park fire on Lamp Black Run trail. This is a tough course. Same as morning run course.
RACE RULES: All teams must start and finish together. This unique triathlon format starts on the bike in a time trial start going every 10 seconds followed by a 1500 meter swim, then finishes with a 6.2 mile run. Drafting is allowed ONLY among each team. NO drafting among SOLO's. Start order for teams is determined by the highest ranking team member.
Race #4: Team Time Trial
Sunday, May 23rd, 2010 at 7:00 A.M.
SWIM: The 1.2 mile swim is a counter clockwise 2 lap course in Turkey Creek Lake. Swim start is a dry land running start. Wetsuits allowed.
BIKE: The 55.5 mile 2 lap bike course is a VERY challenging loop course on paved fire roads within the park. Bring your climbing gears. This course is awesome - you won’t forget it!
RUN: The 13.1 mile run course is a double out and back course on Lamp Black Run trail. This is same course you’ve run on all weekend. You love it or hate it by now!
RACE RULES: All teams must start and finish together.
Well, there will be tons of hilarity on this training ride, I can guarantee that. As far as what else 2010 will bring, I just don't know yet. I may have to get through this one first and then just play it by ear. Anyone know how I can pack on ~10lbs of lean mass by May so I can qualify as an Athena? Yeah, it's probably a dumb idea but I DO love to eat...but hate to lift a weight.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
To go from no tights or tights I've had as long as I've been running, to an almost $100 pair of tights almost made me smack Dan (owner of my local tri shop - Endurance Sports and Rec) right in the middle of the store. I was given a kick ass gift certificate to my local tri store for my birfday - thanks to my awesome in-laws! Fine, he says, try these, you'll love them. First of all, they look ridiculous but I'm totally down with anything that works. Kind of like compression socks, sorry, people you look like a moron, it's not a badge of honor that you have cankles, I get it (believe me, I have two pair and I love them and will wear them in public, still looks dumb and yes, I have the cute pink ones too...like the rest of the world, still dumb but very functional). So, I give these hideous tights a try - the CW-X Stabilyx Tights. I felt a little like a robot and that all my joints were on hinges that just snapped back into place. I had NO idea that my old tights had, um, zero elasticity any longer. Apparently, my junk was jiggling everywhere and no one chose to tell me. These new babies sucked my gut in like a girdle and did a nice lift and separate on the arse. It was nice to run and be 'secure.' Again, I only ran three measly miles but I love them. I will have to update and let you know if they're worth almost $100, as of right now, yes. I DO love a girdle and I felt so aero in those pants. Right now A- because THEY'RE TOO SHORT. Make something long people, c'mon. Magnus must protect me always.
As always, I threw in a pair of Swiftwick socks because you can't have enough. These are, by far, the BEST socks on the planet and guess what - made in the USA, made in TN, as a matter of fact. What are the chances? They really do rock out. Ask Keith, I sent him a pair earlier this year.
Well, that's my officially, unofficial review of stuff that I just bought. I got a Mizuno shirt that's supposed to keep you super warm by turning your sweat into some kind of super hot steam room, or something like that. NO they didn't give me this stuff, I had to PAY for it myself.
Side note - anyone have a genius name for our two WOman team for Triple T? I really don't want to go with Slim and Stumpy (her name for this dynamic duo). Need something better for this cussing pair of gurlz.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
She was an unknown person. Our section is filled with season ticket holders, we know everyone around us. We didn't know them. Her fingers were the size and shape of sausage links and she couldn't fit into the seat without pouring over the edges. She seemed to be able to get up and down about ten times to get fries, cokes, nachos and other assorted football 'treats' .... but she couldn't seem to stand up to honor the disabled veterans group that was there in honor of Veterans Day (I think all NFL games had various programs to honor Veterans yesterday). I wanted to flick her in the back of her fat head and tell her stand her ass up and clap. Nope, too deep into nachos and fries, I guess. Yep, I'm still livid that she and her equally large husband couldn't seem to stand up either. Hell, he couldn't even get up to get his own nachos, she had to get them for him. THEN, another morbidly obese woman 'falls out' at the game and they have to call medical. I am 90% sure it took the entire medical staff to get her onto a make shift board, gurney, wheel chair looking thing. Problem - she didn't fit on it, back fat was pouring out the back of it as six men tried to haul her up the steps to get her medical care. Yep, the whole thing, all of it, a total embarrassment. I guess it's not a world that I live in. In fact, I only wanted to eat salmon and spinach after watching both of them and their football follies on Sunday. I was so disturbed and equally disgusted. I really did want to smack her on the back of her head - c'mon lady, injured Vets and you're too into your nachos to stand up? I found it revolting on so many levels. Yeah, I struggle with - if I lose 5-10lbs it'll make me faster - syndrome. Problem is, I like to eat and drink the beer that goes with it so I live with my 5lbs. For the love of Pete people, have some self respect.
In workout news...
Yep, haven't done a thing since Beach2Battleship. Today is the day we get back on the wagon. You have NO idea how easily I could be a couch potato. Football or any good marathon on Bravo - I'm in for the duration! It's time to get moving. I don't want to end up like the nacho queen.
Friday, November 13, 2009
For whatever reason, I decided to pull up the race results online. I just need to put it out there that I am NOT #1 35-39AG but #2. I was called #1 and handed the #1 plaque at the awards ceremony but I'm certain that the girl that won would like it. It's tainted, don't want it, won't hang it, only going to sit in the back of the closet as the award I almost got. I did send a message to the B2B peoples to see a) what happened b) do they want it back and c) send me 2nd place! I know I shouldn't be bummed, 2nd is still more than anything I have ever received. I am just going with - a PR by 12 minutes and I'm happy about that. Guess that's what I'll go with now. I know, wha, wha, wha, cry me a river but it IS disappointing. Heck, even more than me should be the girl that got 3rd but is really 4th and is now out of hardware for AG Awards. I would be pissssssed off.
So, YES, people, I know now. I'm not happy about it. Why didn't anyone tell me? Seriously, I look like a moron. I'm not afraid of being a moron but please don't relegate me to douchebag. Race report still stands just take #1 out and replace with #2. So there! It doesn't matter, I didn't have five more minutes in me, it was still the best I had. The race director indicated there WAS a timing/scoring issue in one age group...yep, mine.
In other news...I have done, nothing since the race other than eat and drink. It's been nice. I know I'll get bored soon but it's nice to NOT be scheduled for a little while. Copius amounts of liquor, beer, wine and birthday cake. Kinda like this guy.
Yes, peoples, I am 37 - it was Wednesday. As I do every year, here are my 37 things I learned in 37 years...
These are listed in no particular order....
- You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can’t pick your friends nose…but YOU CAN lend them your sleeve.
- Never spit while riding a bike into a headwind – nothing worse than having your training partners tell you that you have a huge loogey hanging off your shoulder or side of your face.
- Play nice with others…unless they are in your same age group.
- Be kind to strangers…they may be a volunteer at your next event.
- Running slowly with a friend may be more beneficial than turning a PR alone.
- People think I’m funny, Dogs worship me as a goddess, I will now be known as the Funny Goddess of Franklin.
- Sleep is totally underrated…especially on a cold morning when it’s raining outside and you’re supposed to go for a run, ah, to stay in bed.
- Ironman is one of the greatest things I have ever done.
- If swimming, biking and running were the most fun things we did as kids, are we really just big kids?
- Negative people suck the life out of me…I don’t hang around those people, I like the life part.
- Never trust a fart on a long run, you don’t need that kind of surprise when you’re miles from home or the nearest toilet.
- Always pack a pre-packaged baby wipe – they have many uses from wiping a baby to wiping yourself.
- Happy Hour is not just one Hour.
- I’m glad I moved to Tennessee from Michigan – you have to rake your roof in Michigan during the winter…to keep the snow from caving your roof in, yep, that one is TRUE!
- Friends will come and go. Good friends are the ones that bring you drugs or soup when you are sick.
- Mom was always right, you should try to pee before you leave the house, every time.
- Laughter can be the best medicine but sometimes Percocet is the perfect medicine.
- I don’t like getting up before 6:00am, I’ll do it but I don’t have to like it.
- Peeing in a wetsuit can keep you warm on a cold morning.
- A massage and a glass of wine is just the perfect way to end any day.
- If I could go back to high school or college, I don’t think I would – this part is way more fun…and I can remember it, most of the time.
- Loyalty is an underrated quality in people.
- Never sit on an unkown toilet seat. There could be creepy crawlies under the seat.
- Tell other people that your are proud of them for their accomplishments. We don’t hear that often when we’re older.
- Work is work and play is play. Why can’t I get paid to play?
- Fart jokes are still funny – as is the unintentional fart at the wrong time (i.e. in church on a wooden pew when everyone stops singing). HILARIOUS.
- There is NO greater compliment than making someone laugh so hard that they shoot their drink out their nose. That’s the sign of a great joke or moment. I strive for this always
- Always wear shoes on aggregate, it will tear your feet up – even if you are just going out to get the mail. Will I ever learn?
- Say I love you to your family every nite and every time you part. It could be the last time you see them.
- Fighting is for boxers and cage fighters, arguments and discussions are for families.
- Never negate, demean or call your spouse a name in front of other people. It’s not nice and makes you look like an ass.
- When you hear a good song in the store, you should dance, even if it’s MUSAK and even if you can’t dance. It’s fun and it’s always time for fun.
- Eat dinner with the TV off once in a while. There’s not much good on anyway, especially the news.
- Don’t worry about what other people think, why does it matter what they think, they’re probably strangers and you’ll never see them again. Their opinion of you has no relevance to your life and happiness.
- Picking up the yard after two dogs is the worst job in the house.
- Be yourself, 100% of yourself, not the edited version of yourself and surround yourself with people that like you at 100%.
- Race it not pace it. Uh, duh, that's why they call it a race.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Unlike Ryan B., I had volunteers help me every step of the way (he was so fast that they weren't ready for him). They really did rock out. HellO the girl gave me her last tampooon ... for the love of Pete.
Who is Pete?
The course is NOT pancake flat.
Logistically, the course sucks ass. Two separate transition areas AND a water taxi ride to get back to the mainland. Yes, I stood in line for 1.5 hours AFTER I thought I was going to die.
This random guy was in line for the water taxi, he leans to girlfriend and is talking and pointing at me. I presume it's my Titans sweatshirt that I have on and start a conversation. Something like - yeah, I know my Titans suck it this year, what's it to ya? He said, no, no, you passed me on the bike like I was sitting still. For the first time in my life, someone whispered and pointed at me as the fast girl. Ha, yay me!
I sat between two douchebags on the water taxi discussing their bikes and how freakin fast they were - blah, blah, blah. This gear, this disc wheel, this powertap. I think one of them started to make fun of my non-aero bento box and tool bag on my bike. At which point, I asked - and how did YOU do today? Oh, well, I smoked the bike but I crumbled on the run, one says. OK, douchebag, that's the idea, you have to do ALL three sports. What are ya, new? Yes, they asked what I was holding and I flashed them first place. Eat it dumbass, talk about my bento box that way...
Just use a damn tampoooon even if you don't think it's shark week. For crying out loud.
Always use extra lube for the run. It was the best use of a minute in my life.
You know you have found your people when you can discuss the intricacies of peeing while riding a bike, fecal matter and periods. Ryan B seemed very disappointed that I didn't pee on my bike and wasn't remotely disturbed when I announced that I had started my period. "Yes, I'll have the filet." How fecal matter made it into the conversation I don't recall. It was somewhere between my steak arriving and my cheesecake, not sure which. I also birthed my water baby during dinner with two trips to the toilet that would make a horse proud. I didn't know I could hold that kind of fluid. Other dinner conversations included were - how to prevent a moose knuckle or a camel toe when wearing a uniTard, McDonald's as pre-race food (Ryan not me), the fact that there is nothing as supple as a freshly shorn scrotum (his words, not mine) and that laser isn't that bad. "Can you please pass the potatoes?" Forever a dork...
I heeded my own warnings and rules to live by ... by NOT trusting a fart. It was the second best decision of my life. I would still be in Wilmington, cleaning up if that were the case. Guts were just foul and I'll leave it at that.
I am thrilled and happy that I did this race but I would not do it again. It was just a little too much travel and logistical pain in the ass that I wouldn't head back. Don't get me wrong, thumbs up but there's lots of good races out there. I don't know that I would do the full distance here either. The crowd just doesn't get it.
Hubs got bitched at by a cop for ringing our killer cowbell for the participants. He got into an 'exchange' and had to explain - that's what you do, this is an ironman for crying out loud. These guys need to know they're not out there alone (especially the 140.6 guys).
The shirt is good - long sleeve tech shirt and a pair of B2B socks! Nice. That's the most in any swag bag I've received in the recent past.
The award is teak wood from the original decking of the USS North Carolina which is WAY cool.
My husband is thee best. See, he was actually sick the week leading into the race. I kept asking him how he was feeling and he just said fine, a little congested. Now that we're home, he said he felt like shit the whole time but that it was about the race so he didn't bring it up. It was my turn.
Why does my body stop absorbing nutrients and insist on making me look pregnant? It's not a good look. I mean look at that profile!
I'm happy and sad to look at my 2009 race schedule and realize that it's over. I have NO clue what 2010 will bring. Triple T - Ohio sounds sick enough to be fun.
I didn't know I could hurt for this long after a little old halfiron race. OUCH! My cankles are really hawt, though.
I guess I finally learned to race and not pace.
My favorite words: fucktard, asshat, douchebag and wonky...probably in that order.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
I got my bike in order, transition spot set up, took pictures with Carolina John. I get totally zen on race mornings. I find that I'll make conversation with people if they initiate, otherwise, I'm just going through the paces and staying calm. I was so glad to meet John and that he spotted me. He's been such a fun, nice and supportive blogger peep. THEN I meet Caylx Meredith and we get on the bus together to go to the swim start. At some point, she told me that I was nice and calm which is my goal and just reaffirmed what I was trying to do and maintain. It is actually part of my race strategy, the calm. I don't hang in the expo, I didn't go to an athlete meeting, all that junk just gets me anxious. I got my packet and got the hell out of there. Got to see Ryan Ironman Barnett pre-swim, he was ready to rock it, you could see it. ANYWAY...
Swim - 27:35 - No, I'm not a superstar. Everyone had fast swim times. HellO swimming with the tide. It rocked out. There was nothing eventful about the swim other than the markings kind of sucked - needed more definitive buoys or swim lines. There were people everywhere. As I exited the swim I saw a 26 something on my watch and thought - this IS going to be MY day.
T1 - LONG run to the bikes, a quarter of a mile or so. Thankfully, I had on those neoprene swim booties. I left that and my wetsuit on so I wouldn't get chilled running to my bike. It worked like a charm. I tried to make quick business of T1 and get the hell out of there. I went with a skull cap hat, gloves and just my uniTARD.
Bike - 2:54 - not pleased BUT this ride is NOT pancake flat as the race directors like to promote on their website. There were bridge crossings and false flats that took a lot of people by surprise. It was fine but pancake is not what I would use as my descriptor. I knew the winds would hit us at some point so when I saw 22-24mph on my computer, I knew that tailwinds were in my favor and to MILK IT. I did and it was great until, you turn, of course. Riding on the interstate rocked out. It was very cool and I felt like I was flying. I did lots of passing and only got passed by about three or four women so I was still very encouraged about this being MY day. At one point on the bike, I stood up to pedal and stretch out and I got the 'feeling.' YES people, my period had started - SONOFABITCH! I sat back down real fast just wondering how long this little, thin, tri pad on my uniTARD would hold up. There was no alternative, I wasn't going to stop. The only other 'event' on the bike was at an aid station. The poor volunteer that handed me water, bless her heart, she didn't take the cap off the water bottle. Besides the fact that I yelled at her, I bit it off and spit it at someone. My apologies to whoever I hit and for yelling at that girl. My period had just started and my cooter was sore from riding. I was getting my bitch on.
T2 - 2:30 - The volunteer took my bike and racked it. That was so nice. I took off my shoes so I could run around T2 in socks. Think, think, think, what to do about shark week starting. I ask the first female volunteer inside T2 - do you have tampons in the changing tent? She said she didn't know but handed me one out of her pocket. I could have kissed her, seriously, kissed her, elated. Get my running gear on, tampoooon in hand looking for a can. I also have a small tube of aquaphor be cause my 'ginny is getting extra lube for this run. I had a serious case of chafing last year that caused me to walk because of the pain - NOT going to happen again. Apparently, I didn't lock the portocan door, dude flies the door open, I'm half necked (uniTARD) and am wrist deep in lube application. NICE! An image burned into his mind for all of eternity.
Run - 2:02 - OK, not the sub 2 hour I planned but it was truly all I had. As I started the run, I see hubs, I kind of feel like crap and I yell at him, my period just started and forged on. I think that's what I'm saying in this picture. I trot around and am really feeling the affects of the day. I'm sore already, my gut is not pleased. Chug, chug, chug. The run course was OK but the brick road and cobblestone portions can suck it, along with the grate on the draw bridge. It was an ankle twister for sure. I see Ryan Ironman Barnett as he is finishing the run with his bike escort - 1st male finisher, it says. What a little bitch! He yells at me - something encouraging to get my ass in gear like - don't be a pussy and get to running bitch. Something like that. At about mile 6ish, my gut turns in that - I can't eat anymore - kind of way. From this point on, it's me and water, nothing else. My water baby is growing by the minute and I've stopped processing. Mile 8, OK, getting closer. This is probably the point that I yelled at a girl for having someone pace her on their bike. Yep, I was that bitch. Why did I care, she was part of a relay team? No outside assistance, no pacing, it's just part of the deal. I think I yelled - must be NICE to have a pacer. Hell, she probably didn't even know what I was talking about, just like the dumb bitch with the iPOD on jamming tunes. People, read the daYum rules. ANYWAY, I'm looking at my watch and I realize that my STRETCH goal is out of reach but I can still bust 5:30. My hands are tingling, my feet are cramping and I have to run over the bridge to get the finish line. Shit, I can feel myself dehydrating but I can't take anything in, my gut is huge at this point. Mind over matter and tunnel vision is the ONLY thing that got me through the last mile. Finish line, I can see it. Please let hubs be there because I'm going to need someone to catch me and I'm not kidding. He was there taking pics and I accosted some poor old volunteer. 5:27 my watch said, SWEET...now I need to puke.
Ryan B, his lovely wife and daughter find us and we're hanging out for awards. Melissa gets us all beers, she totally rocks, Teegan gives me some of her Halloween candy, also rocks. Ryan looks freshly showered and is ready to collect his award - 3rd overall male in 4:20 (HOLY SHIT). He is very fast but he is also very fun. The three of them are one helluva team, I gotta tell ya. OK, age group awards, they come to female 35-39, first place and I hear my hometown and state announced before my name...what??? Yes, the other women in my age group were so stinking fast that they took two of the overall awards (4:30 and 4:43, respectively) opening up the age group division.
In the end, it was MY day. I may never win another prize again but on this day I did. I worked for it, I gave it all I had on race day and it paid off for me. And here's to the off season...I think I'm going to have a bloody mary with my breakfast just because I can.
There's so much more to tell like, having dinner with the Barnett's. I love to have dinner with people who don't think that talking about fecal matter and periods at the dinner table is weird. What a treat! I have found 'my people.' Story to be continued...
Saturday, November 7, 2009
The shortest version - PR of 5:27 and the best part...that was good enough for 1st place in the 35-39 age group. Seriously, I don't win prizes. I think they got the wrong girl or were doing new math. I took my award and ran.
More to come! I hurt EVERYWHERE!!!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
I've booked it all, all the work is done, I just need to concentrate on the present, stay calm, channel my energy and stay warm. Yep, Saturday morning will NOT be a warm one. I've have wrangled my coaches full wetsuit, booties and hat. Water temp is 68 and dropping and there's something about right whales in the marine forecast. I PROMISE you I will freak out if I see this ugly thing!
I hope to deliver the PR I'm looking for....