Tuesday, December 16, 2008

My life is a Seinfeld episode...the car reservation

OK, it wasn't a car reservation is was a doctor's appointment. It WAS a 3:00pm doctor's appointment. Yep, have not shaken the funk in two weeks, this is week three, I broke down. I could not take the pain any longer (sinus/chest). It's a new doctor/walk-in clinic but I called and made an...yes, APPOINTMENT, with the doctor. I have all required forms filled out ahead of time because this will make things go smoother and faster. Right?!?

2:50, arrive - take inventory of all sketchy sick looking people in the room and stay the hell away from them. Check in.
2:53 - look at the chairs in the room to find the least soiled...I swear it looked like a kid pissed on every chair.

3:00 - appointment time, waiting, waiting, tick tock, tick tock, mess with crackberry

3:15 - OK, one in, one out, I'm next.

3:30 - Wow, this is suckin. I'm feeling worse my teeth feel like they're falling out of my head because my sinuses are so bad.

3:45 - mess with crackberry, Angie tells me to make a run for it. I decide to stay, I'm invested at this point.

4:00 - I'm in, I'm in, yep that's me. Vitals, vitals, vitals and yes, I've officially gained all Ironman weight back. It may take a year to come off but I can testify it takes exactly six weeks to come back on.

4:15 - more messages, get the hell out of there, they say.

4:17 - doctor, yeah a doctor, breathe in, breathe out, look up my nose, yep, you have a sinus infection and upper respiratory infection. No shit, sherlock. I'm going to give you a shot of 'something I can't pronounce,' a breathing treatment and some Levaquin for 10 days. OK, OK, let's get on with it.


4:25 - nurse comes back and says - this is gonna hurt. FINE, nothing can hurt as bad as my head right now, hit me. Is this an ass shot, I ask? (I did say ass). Yep, a shot to the hip...whatever, ass shot. Ass shot to the right cheek. OWWWW, that burns I say. Uh duh, I told you it was gonna hurt.

4:30 - pants up; breathing treatment on.

4:40 - doctor checks on my breathing, good to go, one prescription and I want to see you in two weeks. Yeah, whatever. If you think I'm coming back to a place that can't EVEN come close to hitting the 3:00 target appointment time, you're crazy! And you wonder why insurance premiums are up. I'm sure mine got charged for some kind of 2 hour visit...hell, someone should get paid for me sitting on my ass for that long.

5:00 - grocery store AFTER a breathing treatment - if you've never had one, you're lucky. I looked like some kind of junky with the shakes. Guess I should have taken off my NAME BADGE identifying me and my place of work...don't need them coming after me for an intervention or something.

6:30 - sitting in chair at home crying, the tears just came because the pain was so intense. If I pushed on my upper teeth, I could hear my sinuses in my head crackle. This can't be good.

7:30 - two tylenol pm, this should help

8:00 - one muscle relaxer just to ensure I'm OUT. I was OUT! I think I started to fall asleep in the chair when a snort woke me up, oh, yeah, that's just hotttt...when a snort wakes you up and you scare yourself. Oh, I can laugh now...

So, it is here I sit for another week of inactivity until I can truly shake this funky and bitch about people not keeping appointment times. I wouldn't bitch if they were covered up or there was an emergency or I didn't hear the doctor talking to her kid for 30 minutes outside MY ROOM DOOR. Yeah, that was the final ass chap for sure.

3 comments:

Jo Lynn said...

Sorry you are sick, but glad you did something about it. My husband does that snort/wake yourself up thing A LOT. Oh, believe me, it is S-E-X-Y. (NOT)

Jill said...

Oh, yo uneed a new Dr. We have several of them that are on time or early. Email me if you want a buttload of good referrals.

Angela said...

Wow! Hope you get better soon! Yes, I luvs the sexy self-snorting wake up. It makes me pity all the times I elbowed the hubby at night.

Get well! :-)

IronMissy - it's official!

IronMissy - it's official!
A vision in green!