Tuesday, December 16, 2008

My life is a Seinfeld episode...the car reservation

OK, it wasn't a car reservation is was a doctor's appointment. It WAS a 3:00pm doctor's appointment. Yep, have not shaken the funk in two weeks, this is week three, I broke down. I could not take the pain any longer (sinus/chest). It's a new doctor/walk-in clinic but I called and made an...yes, APPOINTMENT, with the doctor. I have all required forms filled out ahead of time because this will make things go smoother and faster. Right?!?

2:50, arrive - take inventory of all sketchy sick looking people in the room and stay the hell away from them. Check in.
2:53 - look at the chairs in the room to find the least soiled...I swear it looked like a kid pissed on every chair.

3:00 - appointment time, waiting, waiting, tick tock, tick tock, mess with crackberry

3:15 - OK, one in, one out, I'm next.

3:30 - Wow, this is suckin. I'm feeling worse my teeth feel like they're falling out of my head because my sinuses are so bad.

3:45 - mess with crackberry, Angie tells me to make a run for it. I decide to stay, I'm invested at this point.

4:00 - I'm in, I'm in, yep that's me. Vitals, vitals, vitals and yes, I've officially gained all Ironman weight back. It may take a year to come off but I can testify it takes exactly six weeks to come back on.

4:15 - more messages, get the hell out of there, they say.

4:17 - doctor, yeah a doctor, breathe in, breathe out, look up my nose, yep, you have a sinus infection and upper respiratory infection. No shit, sherlock. I'm going to give you a shot of 'something I can't pronounce,' a breathing treatment and some Levaquin for 10 days. OK, OK, let's get on with it.

4:25 - nurse comes back and says - this is gonna hurt. FINE, nothing can hurt as bad as my head right now, hit me. Is this an ass shot, I ask? (I did say ass). Yep, a shot to the hip...whatever, ass shot. Ass shot to the right cheek. OWWWW, that burns I say. Uh duh, I told you it was gonna hurt.

4:30 - pants up; breathing treatment on.

4:40 - doctor checks on my breathing, good to go, one prescription and I want to see you in two weeks. Yeah, whatever. If you think I'm coming back to a place that can't EVEN come close to hitting the 3:00 target appointment time, you're crazy! And you wonder why insurance premiums are up. I'm sure mine got charged for some kind of 2 hour visit...hell, someone should get paid for me sitting on my ass for that long.

5:00 - grocery store AFTER a breathing treatment - if you've never had one, you're lucky. I looked like some kind of junky with the shakes. Guess I should have taken off my NAME BADGE identifying me and my place of work...don't need them coming after me for an intervention or something.

6:30 - sitting in chair at home crying, the tears just came because the pain was so intense. If I pushed on my upper teeth, I could hear my sinuses in my head crackle. This can't be good.

7:30 - two tylenol pm, this should help

8:00 - one muscle relaxer just to ensure I'm OUT. I was OUT! I think I started to fall asleep in the chair when a snort woke me up, oh, yeah, that's just hotttt...when a snort wakes you up and you scare yourself. Oh, I can laugh now...

So, it is here I sit for another week of inactivity until I can truly shake this funky and bitch about people not keeping appointment times. I wouldn't bitch if they were covered up or there was an emergency or I didn't hear the doctor talking to her kid for 30 minutes outside MY ROOM DOOR. Yeah, that was the final ass chap for sure.


Jo Lynn said...

Sorry you are sick, but glad you did something about it. My husband does that snort/wake yourself up thing A LOT. Oh, believe me, it is S-E-X-Y. (NOT)

Jill said...

Oh, yo uneed a new Dr. We have several of them that are on time or early. Email me if you want a buttload of good referrals.

Angela said...

Wow! Hope you get better soon! Yes, I luvs the sexy self-snorting wake up. It makes me pity all the times I elbowed the hubby at night.

Get well! :-)

IronMissy - it's official!

IronMissy - it's official!
A vision in green!