Tuesday, December 9, 2008

It's all relative!

I actually went out for a run last nite in the neighborhood - 3M at 26:30. I was perfectly happy with that since the extent of my workouts have been 2 runs and 1 pseudoswim/week (pseudoswim = getting into the water, splashing around, no 'real' yardage, hanging on the wall, laughing with friends mostly). Anyway, been feeling large and in charge lately with the usual holiday foods, parties and copious amounts of alcohol...solid liquid calorie. I've been partnering with this guy for his alcohol research...apparently.I guess it was on my run last nite when I tried to really tell myself it's all relative - 26:30 for 3 miles might be fast for you or it may be horribly slow. It was average for me but I was really happy about it. It's like this endless quest for happiness, I swear. Too many A Type runners or triathletes in one room is like paralysis by analysis - well, if I only, if I only didn't stop to change my clothes, if I only didn't stop for one extra drink I could have shaved off x number of seconds off my time. There were six in our crew that did IMFL this year and each one could be considered the best race of their life....none of us won a prize and none of us are going to Kona. Our times ranged from 10:15ish - 14:30ish. If the 10:15 was 30 minutes slower than expected and the 14:30 was an hour faster than she thought, who had the best race?! A first timer went sub-12hours, was her's the best race? I won't do any race unless I'm prepared or to 'just do it for fun' - that's just not in my make-up. I need to be able to give it my best effort while being the most prepared. Why do I, why do we continue to beat ourselves up over it? If I just did this or that...

And then, it dawned on me, during this little run of mine...get over yourself for crying out loud. You don't have any sponsors hanging over you, there is not one person on this planet waiting for you to ________fill in the blank here, do a 21 minute 5K, a sub 12 Ironman, whatever...other than you. All I could think was - holy crap, I'm a real assh!@# to myself...the best is never good enough. Well, here's to 'getting over myself' - in the BIGger scheme of life, it's just not that important. Friends, family, now that's important. Cheers to all, I think I heard a bottle of wine open in the other room.


Marcy said...

This was a good post :-) I stopped trying already HAHAHAH. No seriously, I was (and I'm just lackadaisical in general)lucky to learn early that all of my best races had NOTHING to do with time. In fact I've posted my worst times in all the ones I loved LOL. And the ones that were supposed to be "awesome" time wise? I hated. LMAO!

Holly Jane said...

AMEN to the 9th degree!!! I whole-heartedly agree and really needed to read this today. I beat myself down to nothing day after day. Whether it's not training hard enough, skipping a workout, not being productive enough, or personal problems - I am SO my own worst enemy and criticize myself to no end. Thank you for reminding me "it's all relative!"

The Running Girl said...

So true. Even when I did the Disney marathon JUST FOR FUN with a friend and we stopped to take pictures with every single character along the way, I still did NOT want to venture into the 6 hour area for a marathon. And every time I repeat a race I want to beat my previous time.

JP said...

Hey, I know that guy doing research, I feel like I'm one of his lab rats.
But....Now it's time for me to get the legs turning over again, but with no HR monitor or watch. Just enjoy running for a change.
Oh yea, what does it mean when the scale doesn't stop for two spins?
p.s.I think it is Fat Tire related.

Wes said...

Yay! Yea, I'll keep doing this as long as it fun. Then, I'll stop. :-)

SC's Adventures said...

So true... I am just never happy with my results. I have to give myself a good talking too every time I race because it is a great achievement just finishing.

I also recommend heading for the freeze should you need a change from wine... ice cream helps cure any niggling injury by freezing from the inside out... and it tastes great!

IronMissy - it's official!

IronMissy - it's official!
A vision in green!